:: cowers in fear of Tripler’s pure manliness::
Hey, uh, Trip, listen, when you find out what it is that you did to get the legal prohibition against you getting laid, would you mind letting the rest of us guys know? Because I think the same law may have been passed about me too, and I’m betting that there’s a couple of other guys who’ve been hit by that as well. We need to find out what it was that we did so we can warn the other guys not to do it as well (and frame up all those guys who are currently getting laid) and then all of us who have been banned from the delights of the female flesh need to start a movement to get these unjust laws overturned.
Trip: what I want to know is, what the hell are you doing still hanging out here? If I were you I’d be calling my travel agent, rounding up all these willing volunteers, and booking a group trip to some locality that does not recognize the Tripler Act. Switzerland, perhaps?
If It’s any consolation, ** Tripler**, I’m pretty sure the Texas A&M University Code of Conduct has a “** Space Ghost** shall never, ever, get laid” clause.
Fair enough. But honestly, I’m to the point where I think I need a taller, lanky friend, a monkey, and a Czechoslovakian chick named “Nadia” to even remotely consider getting any. And even then, all I have is the monkey . . .
GENTLEMEN: I am not an asshole. I know ladies here that will vouch for me. As soon as I find out what is outlawing us, specifically Tuckerfan and SpaceGhost, believe me, I will let you know. The boards are for the fight against ignorance, and I shall do my part.
And JBirdman12, the only thing that keeps me from doing that is the fact that I have to take a business trip in a day.
Tripler
And I wish the Middle East allowed ladies over there. . . 
Tripler - three words for ya: “Wetness Protection Program”.
Ginger waves her hand furiously - unless of course presents from you mean you’re trying to be swayve and de-boner and get laid. And stop calling me a lady, fercryinoutloud!
Okay, I hereby announce that you are no longer a lady.
This will definitely take you off the market for gentelmen such as myself.
Tripler
You’ve just shot yourself in the foot. Congratulations.
Aw, Tripler…does somebody need a hug?
[sub]and watch the hands![/sub]
Nope, not at all . . .
Tripler
Someone needs some tail. . .
You know Trip. You can always find yourself a Desert Queen.
[sub]Known better 'round these parts as a “Dorm Bike”[/sub]
Trip, you just had about 5 women offering you themselves for acts of reckless abandon, and you’re complaining? Get thee a train ticket!!
Incorrect, kind Doper,
I count 4 ladies. One is outlawed, two are already taken, and one is just so far away . . .
Jeez, I sound like a Dire Straits record.
Tripler
“So far away . . . bwaaa bwah bwa bwaahhhhhhh”
Jeez, Tripler, if you’re going to whine about it…
I’ll offer up too.
[sub]like you could handle me?[/sub]
Well, on the bright side, it seems that there are some who are willing to wait on you. On the other hand, that’s not too conductive to business, is it?
JBirdman, the business trip is going to last four months. I’m not going to wait for him.
Not unless he brings me pretty sparkly things from Kuwait!
So, uh, Ginger, how YOU doin’?[sub]Just kidding! I swear! I wouldn’t try and muscle in on a woman who has offered herself to another man. It may be the only morals I gots, but I’s sticks to its! Athena, forgive me if this sounds stupid![/sub]
Thus being my last post before I actually leave the North American continent, I note one last thing:
I have a chance!! Woohooooo!
Tripler
As long as I lavish jewels and precious metals on the ladies. . .