What kind of pie?
And what’s the recipe?
Or is it a choice of pies; and if so, could you provide the recipes for all of them?
ETA: also, you don’t mention examples of verbal smackdowns that we may have given, received, or witnessed in real life? Was it those you were forgetting to allow us to include? Or disallow?
"What do you know about somebody not being good enough for somebody else? And since when did you care whether Corinthians stood up or fell down? You’ve been laughing at us all your life. Corinthians. Mama. Me. Using us, ordering us, and judging us: how we cook your food; how we keep your house. … Our girlhood was spent like a found nickel on you. When you slept, we were quiet; when you were hungry, we cooked; when you wanted to play, we entertained you; and when you got grown enough to know the difference between a woman and a two-toned Ford, everything in this house stopped for you. You have yet to wash your own underwear, spread a bed, wipe the ring from your tub, or move a fleck of your dirt from one place to another. And to this day, you have never asked one of us if we were tired, or sad, or wanted a cup of coffee. You’ve never picked up anything heavier than your own feet, or solved a problem harder than fourth-grade arithmetic. Where do you get the right to decide our lives? …
I'll tell you where. From that hog's gut that hangs down between your legs. Well, let me tell you something, baby brother: you will need more than that. I don't know where you will get it or who will give it to you, but you will need more than that. ... You are a sad, pitiful, stupid, selfish, hateful man. I hope your little hog's gut stands you in good stead, and that you take good care of it, because you don't have anything else. But I want to give you notice." She pulled her glasses out of her pocket and put them on. Her eyes doubled in size behind the lenses and were very pale and cold. "I don't make roses anymore, and you have pissed your last in this house."
(The last line makes more sense, and is more devastating, if you know the book.)