How so? Any father who sticks his cock into his pre-teen daughter must have at least some level of pedophilic attraction, even if it’s not his primary attraction.
I’m not condemning him, I merely advised him to do what’s responsible. Perhaps I let emotion get the better of me, but if I’ve learned anything from dealing with these people, it’s to never take everything they say at face value.
Not to mention the fact that not all child abusers are pedophiles – presumably, just as all rapists aren’t sexually attracted to their victims.
LOL…
They might feel generous and give you the number to the thought police. I used to volunteer for PJ and this thread wouldn’t even get them going.
And how would you even be aware of most of the ones who “haven’t offended yet”? Telepathy? Given that it’s not the sort of thing people normally admit, you are highly unlikely to ever become aware of most pedophiles who never offend. Your experience is flawed because by nature it is heavily skewed towards those who didn’t or couldn’t control themselves.
But Nzinga, Seated is specifically referring to fathers who haven’t done any such thing. Lacking telepathy, and with a strong incentive for them to not admit to it, neither you nor we have any way to tell if one in ten or one in ten thousand fathers have such urges and control them.
Let me ask you something…if you knew there was a 5% chance you could harm your own children, what would you do? Would you take that risk? Remember, we’re talking about sexual abuse here – even cases of “accidental” molestation have the potential for long-lasting, devastating harm.
I have literally been shaking all day. I’ll go ahead and say it, I’m terrified. I’ve let the cat out of the bag. I’ve told on myself. I’ve let out my deep, dark, terrible secret. Part of me wants to run away. To leave the SDMB and never show my face around here again. Then there is part of me that wants to go through this entire thread and address each posters concerns and questions one by one, even the posts that were either threatening or insulting.
When I got home from work this afternoon, I saw that this thread was already up to 3 pages. That was at about 4:30. I have just now worked up the courage to open this thread up and read what people had to say. I was certain that I was going to be tarred and feathered, then ridden out of doperville on a rail.
I’ll have to say that I am pleasantly surprised. Actually, the word surprised doesn’t quite say it. I am amazed beyond belief. Amazed that the majority of replies were supportive. Amazed that people actually took the time too look up helpful links. Amazed that there are people in this world that can look past the fact that I have an attraction towards underage girls, and see that there is a tortured soul underneath that hates what he has been inflicted with. I am not one to get misty eyed over every little thing, but I am actually crying as I type this.
The words, “thank you” don’t even begin to express my gratitude.
I hope you can get the support you need to help you along.
Take care of yourself, and I do hope you find peace.
There does seem to be some good advice in here, and therapy and counseling might be able to help you along the way. I’m not sure, but if it works, it works, ya know?
Good luck.
And you’re cutting straight to “won’t someone pleeeease think of the children” and still handwaving away your lack of data.
This question doesn’t even make sense - you’ve highlighted the word knew - presumably to indicate certainty, then you’re talking about a 5% chance of something happening (and 5% seems pretty uncertain).
So… what do you mean? And even assuming sense can be made of this, what if it was only a 1%, or 0.1% chance, or 0.001%? (I’d say that some level of possibility of stuff like this can never be completely ruled out for anyone, because people sometimes go off their rocker)
Despite the overall absurdity of everything else, I think this makes sense. Try:
If you knew that in a bottle of 100 aspirin tablets five actually contained cyanide, what would you do?
No, are you? Also, kinda short fuse, I believe i’ll account it more towards rude people.
Pduol, do you have Asperger’s Syndrome or ADD or anything like that? Anything that could translate into you being " young for your age?" Its possible this kink may be an emotional stunting thing. (someone in the thread said that a lot of pedophiles are immature)
It’s possible your fixtation might be due to an Asperger’s Syndrome like obession.
People (including “socially normal” people ) can mistake being enthralled/obessed with someone “love”
It’s awesome you reconize that a little kid can’t consent. Maybe part of it is that you may have romanticized your first crush into the “perfect” love. Maybe its not a “wired” kink but rather a psychological trauma kink. Maybe a good idea might be to contact a doctor or a psych who has worked with pedophiles or are doing research on them.
Yes, that makes sense, because it’s dealing with finitely measurable quantities. It also wouldn’t seem odd to hear, say, a mathematician using that kind of phrase about something in a casino.
But I just don’t see how it can make sense in the context of guessing our own future actions.
We may be certain that we intend to do something - because that certainty derives from the intention
Or we may suspect that we are at some sort of risk of losing control and doing something, but how could we ever be certain that we have X% chance of doing some thing or other? The two things just seem far too badly juxtaposed to make sense.
A thought for the OP. Have you considered speaking to a psych professional? It occurs to me there are a gamut of things that could be described as a an unhealthy attraction, and include things like the poster above mentioned, that is, obsessive thoughts that are intrinsically revolting. You may find that speaking to a professional may help you understand what is actually going on.
I can’t speak for everyone, but for me the fact that you are trying not to act on your impulses is the biggest part. That and its obvious its not a choice for you, but something you don’t understand.
I know there have been times I’ve been mad enough to kill people. But wanting to kill people (and trying to restrain those urges) vs. going out and doing it, or trying to find ways to justify doing it are totally different things. Everyone has had destructive thoughts about one thing or another at least once (violence, sex, property theft, etc). But people generally realize they are destructive and try to keep them under control.
I assume in the US alone there are millions with hebephilia who try to keep those urges under control.
Some of us posted links to therapy groups that deal with issues like these, so maybe you can check one of those out. If your urges are based on certain psychological causes (the power imbalance, certain emotional issues you haven’t worked through from that point in life, etc), then maybe you can get those addressed.
We can still do that if you think it would help.
I don’t think anybody, except that one guy, really wants to see you in jail, just to get you the help that you need. Something as inborn as sexual desire isn’t something you just develop, so it’s akin to a genetic illness rather than a crime. Hell, if we could criminalize sexuality, gay people would be in jail for most of our history. You are no different, only society doesn’t tolerate what you desire compared to what gays desire. It’s just unfortunate that you were born a match in a society of gunpowder
The reality is that we are all on the same boat. We have all had a pretty cousin we would have liked to bed. A stupid relative we would have liked to push down a cliff. A annoying boss we could have brought a coffee laced with black pepper. A stupid dog we could have sprayed with pepper spray. Heck you don’t even have to be criminal about it. Just a random pretty girl for a married guy. A donut on the break room when you already ate.
We all go through our lives fighting urges we know we cannot indulge. More than that, we have all failed at some point and we know that’s a luxury you don’t have. We can all live with a donut we ate when we shouldn’t have. The consequences of your potential failure to restrain yourself are much more serious and your situation thus more desperate.
I just want you to realize that what you did here with this OP was not just come out to the world. You came out to yourself. No matter how aware you were of your problem, we can always hide from ourselves what we haven’t said out loud. Now you cannot hide from this any more. Go fight it and make yourself a life more enjoyable.
I think the Ironic lyrics thread is still going over in CS. 
Isn’t that a free lunch when you already ate on the song? It’s been a while.