I Am Sick Of Coming Home At Night And Having To Deal With This!

The BBQ Pit
41

It could be worse. He could be doing what I did in school. I never did homework, slept through class and dropped out of school in the 9th grade. Back then I didn’t care.

When I got older and decided that I was tired of working in the lower Alabama summertime heat, up to my armpits in swamp water for $5.50 an hour, I read every computer techncial book and study guide I could get my hands on. Having to learn so late in life how to study and retain the information I had read was not easy. I would come home from work and do nothing but read and work on the computer. It basically cost me my marriage because I was trying to better myself and left no time for the family. I finally did it and got all the certs I wanted and now have a kick ass job, but the price was high and the stress and workload were enormous.

Now, I help my son with his homework everynight and speak with his teachers regularly. I don’t want him to fall into the same pit I was in. I have stressed to him that education is key.

The point I was originally trying to make: At least you have an overachiever with good study habits, rather than a slacker who will regret his actions later and have to work twice as hard later in life to learn. All the homework may be a pain now, but I’m sure it will pay off in the long run.

42

Exactly. :slight_smile:

43

That really needs to find its way onto a T-shirt. Or maybe a baseball cap.

:stuck_out_tongue:

44

I didn’t do a lot of homework in high school either. I only wrote 3 papers my entire time in high school, one in Honors Biology, one in Honors Chemistry, and one in Honors English 12.

I wrote a handful of essays, did a couple of French projects, and memorized the Periodic Table. Oh, and I did an Optical Illusion art project for my Geometry class.

High school was a joke. I’m going to a decent college now, but I still don’t do a good deal of homework, and I’m a junior. Beyond writing papers and studying for exams…a lot of my friends are in MIS and CS, and have to do huge, time-eating projects every week or so, as well as write papers and take tests.

I would tend to agree that I needed more homework in the science and math classes I took, and I do take the time to read for my Lit courses, but certain classes don’t require much and I don’t know how to make them require more.

45

From MSNBC

46

Isabelle, Ain’t nothin’ wrong with yer kid learnin’ how to “fish.”

First of all, THANK YOU for caring enough to notice what your kids are up to in school! Wish my folks had–lucky for me I didn’t get myself into (more) trouble (than I did).

My performance in HS was actually pretty good. I escaped the public school system with just under a 3.6 (got C’s in PE for 3 years because I couldn’t communicate effectively with the knucle-dragging PE teachers). I was given maybe 45 minutes of homework in each of AP Math, AP Literature & German. I did about 45 minutes total in the evenings (math) and pencil-whipped the rest on the bus to & from school.

I got eaten ALIVE in college my first 2 years because I was under the (proven up to that point) impresion that this was what homework was. My last half of college was much better because it took me that long to learn how to work efficiently.

BUT, if Jr is attending classes for 8 hours a day and then grinding through several hous in the evening–that’s too much. Sure, when done correctly, college can impose 3-8 hours of ‘homework’ a day, but you’re only talking about attending classes 3-4 hours a day on average AND you are in a ‘homework’ environment.

You can’t really control how much school time the kids have, the magnitude of homework assignments nor are you really able to assess the preparedness/effectiveness of the teachers. But there are 2 gifts you can give your kids that will make a difference: Accountability (extra credit is admirable, but don’t commit to more than you can do.) and Time Management (be strict about this–if you get home 30 minutes before Office Depot closes and you find out he needed posterboard, glue, and 18 colored markers…and has known about it for a week…let him get a life lesson. Your boss/peers wouldn’t let YOU get away with that in the real world, would they?)

Things could be worse.:eek:

47

Aren’t Honors classes optional? Aren’t they for the students who EXPECT to do well in college?

What are your son’s goals? If he wants to be a doctor, or an academic, or anything that will require him to do will in college, then the Honors classes he is taking should give him 4 or 5 hours of homework a night; it’ll double in college, and he needs to begin preparing for it now.

If he wants to be a ditch digger or a fast-food chef, then he should drop the Honors classes.

48

My FIRST GRADER has between 30-45 minutes of homework every night except for Fridays.

I am just about to the point that I’m going to have a teacher conference.

He doesn’t get home until 5:30 and wants to ride his bike, play outside for a little while, etc. I allow him to do this until I have dinner ready and Sauron comes home which is around 6:00. He then eats dinner and starts his homework by 6:30. We finish close to 7:00. He takes him bath and then we read a book together. He is in bed by 8:15.

Now on nights we have plans this is a huge struggle. I encourage him to complete as much of his homework as he can during his after school care since they provide a homework room. He knows that if there is something special he wants to do after he gets home that if he has already completed most of his work then he will have more time to do what he wants.

On an average night he has the following to complete:

One math worksheet

Reading Log (he has to read to me and with me at least one book every night)

Review his weekly Flash cards with 20-25 new words to learn

One reading assignment

I think an hour of homework every night for a first grader is too much.

49

This one’s a keeper.

50

I agree with most of what have been said already.

I think you should put the responsibility for your son’s reputation on his own shoulders - if you have to explain his homework to him every night - then something is wrong. Either he’s too lazy to study hard enough to read and understand what his book says and just counting on you to pull him through anyway, or he’s misplaced in his class - which is alright, but then the answer is not doing his work for him, but finding a better suited class for him. It’s quite understandable that you don’t have the energy - I wouldn’t have it either.

I didn’t spend much time on homework myself in high school, but as others have pointed out, it came back and bit me in the ass when i persued a master’s degree in math/physics - the grades I have from my first year of study are very bad - I didn’t know how to study or how to read and understand a difficult text. I learned though, and have now finished my degree and am now on the other side of the table - I am a high school teacher.

Being a high school teacher I can only say that I almost always give my students problems to solve and/or texts to read on their own as homework - partly because math and physics is best understood through examples - and every students gains most from such, if they’re allowed to work through them at their own pace (well, so I believe) rather than having every thought shown to them in class.

I hope it wasn’t too much of a hijack, just trying to explain why I think it’s important that your son learns to do his own homework and why his teachers give him the homework…Hope it was useful input.

-Tikster

51

No. And it looks like Aries28’s kid has it worse than my kid does. (Why not Fridays? I’m glad when they give homework on Fridays, because then we’ve got three days to schedule when to get it done.) Usually, all she has to to do is one worksheet–often one that reviews math skills somewhat. It’s usually not so bad…but then you’ve got one where you have to hunt through the newspaper for numbers or hunt through the house for clocks, and draw your favorite clock. Not hard, but time-consuming.

They say that it is “training” for good study habits later in life, but, personally, I think this training is a bit too early. If it doesn’t count for much, then kids will learn to disregard it. My sister stopped doing homework in middle school because no one really noticed if she turned it in late, etc. This attitude bit her in the ass in high school. I had gone to junior high in a different state, one where, if you didn’t turn in a homework assignment, your name got put on a list. If you were on this list in two subjects, or one subject two weeks in a row, you were ineligible from participating in extracurricular activities for a week. You bet I made damn sure I got my homework in on time! I didn’t want anyone seeing my name on that list :).

52

My own experience in Honors coursework, starting in 5th Grade and going all the way through high school and college, is that there can be a LOT more homework coming from Honors courses than from “regular” ones. Many of my friends were not in honors courses, and their homework loads always seemed significantly lighter (and less challenging, of course) than mine.

Takeaway from this: if your child is going to be in Honors classes, you can expect their workload both in and out of the classroom to be greater and more challenging. It pretty much comes with the package.

Of course, homework loads vary from teacher to teacher. This is not always a sign of poor organization or bad time management on the part of the teacher, though it can be. Do you have other reasons to assume that these are the causes for the heavy homework load for your child? If he’s just getting a lot of homework and you’re not happy about it, you might be able to talk to the teacher and adjust the workload a bit… many teachers are flexible and recognize that every student is different. Honors teachers often have reason to be more flexible than most, as they need to focus more individualized methods on each student to challenge them appropriately.

I’d like to mention that in your OP, you appear to be complaining about something that seems… odd to complain about.

Emphasis mine, and I cut off the last part of the sentence about poor time utilization, as it’s a separate issue which I’ve already mentioned above.

Yes, homework is generally used as an intentional supplement to classwork, to help reinforce concepts learned in the classroom environment, and sometimes to introduce the student to new concepts which will be covered the next day. From your OP, I’m having a hard time grasping what you think the purpose of homework is… you define it pretty well, in the quote above, but then you complain about it?

My advice is threefold: (1) You have an Honors student. You may not think it should make a difference, but it does. As long as your child remains in an Honors classroom, you can probably expect more homework for him. (2) If you honestly feel your child is getting overwhelmed with homework, talk to his teacher about it. Most of them are pretty nice people, and will genuinely want to help if they can. You may also get a better understanding for why there is so much homework for particular classes. Which leads to… (3) Don’t assume that your child is getting a lot of homework because of poor time management on the part of the teacher. There may be many factors involved, and jumping to that conclusion may or may not be justified. Better to enter in on this sort of thing with an open mind, frustrating though it may be to you.

Random thoughts… hope they’re helpful.

53

You know, when I was in school, parents actually complained their kids weren’t getting ENOUGH homework. And so we wound up with teachers forced to give us homework on the weekends and every single night.

54

What does excessive homework teach? How to work long hours into the evening at the expense of family, friends and other activites. How to live a life out of balance.

There is a lot to be said for learning how to put in a good hard day’s work, and then leave it behind at the school or office at the end of the day, rather than let it take over one’s life.

55

That’s small potatos. Build a man a fire, and keep him warm for a few hours. But set a man on fire, and he can be warm for the rest of his life!

I sympathize. I think often too much ‘make-work’ homework gets given out.

56

I’m in 9th grade, honors classes, two languages (French and Spanish). I have to wake up early for tennis in the morning, and have two hours of it in the afternoon as well. I have 2-3 hours of homework in the afternoon, plus assorted projects and pretty big chunks of reading for english (we just finished Great Expectations and are moving on to Homer’s Odyssey).

That’s a lot, but it’s fine by me because I know what I want, and that’s to go to a good college and do well. I have no doubt that I could drop back to regular everything, drop a language, and try to get a period off, then breeze through with my B without even trying, but I don’t want to do that.

Also, keep in mind that with seven subjects, if every teacher gives a little homework, it’s going to add up to a lot. Usually I have :

Biology : nothing, or study for something (0/45 minutes)
Geography : study for the quiz we have everyday (20 minutes)
French : nothing (0 minutes)
English : grammar, read current class book, work on whatever project we have assigned, read whatever classic we have selected for this grading period (15 minuets to an hour and a half)
Geometry : daily assignment (30-40 minutes)
Spanish : book or workbook work (20-30 minutes)

I don’t think I can identiry anything I do as busywork, except for geography, because the man doesn’t know how to teach. :frowning: Read the pages, take the quiz, rinse, repeat.

Anyway, that’s my workload, but I’m not complaining. I’ll complain when I start honestly learning nothing from assignments, then I’ll talk to the teacher, not complain about it incessently.

57

I’m a relatively smart guy, but I was very lazy as a teenager, and my parents couldn’t control me enough to shake me out of it. I managed to graduate with a B- average, I would slack off and get the minimum grade of 50 on the first twelve weeks of a semester (do no work and get the same credit as someone who does it all but only gets half right), then pull a couple of 100+ on the last 6 weeks and the final exam, and pass.

So I graduated high school, but I have a very hard time motivating myself to do anything beyond the bare minimum to get by. I’m held back career-wise by unwillingness to study in my free time and better myself, and I think that if I had been made to do my homework, I would have been more successful later in life.

58

I agree with Tikster.
Also if your son keeps up with last minute “I gotta go to Office Depot cause this project is due tommorw” routine, it is time to teach him time management, not the teacher, him.
He got the assignment last week, he is the person who did not come to you to schedule a conveient trip to the office supply store.
I would suggest the following. The next time he has to go to office depot cause the project is due tomorrow, you be unavailable. Offer to schedule a trip in 2-3 days.
if your son is anything like my 2 kids they will whine (loudly) that the project is due tomorrow.
Ask when the project was assigned. If the answer is not today, then stand firm. Yes your son will tank that project. But unless your son is dumber than a bag of hammers, this will be the last time. I did this with both of my kids (one time each). Now they get every project done early. :slight_smile:
IMHO Also checking over eary piece of your son’s homework is again not helping him in the long run. Are you also going to check his college work every night? What about when he gets a job? Are you going to check that? At what point will you consider him a big boy and able to do homework on his own?

59

ooops, in my previous post I wrote:

I think you should put the responsibility for your son’s reputation on his own shoulders

I meant his education blush
:smack:

Tikster

60

Just one question here - where do kids have 8-hour school days? My daughter’s high school runs classes from 7:30-2:30, which is 7 hours, and there’s a lunch period in there. Is this below some national average?