Hello again, just a few quick (for me) comments…
First, an easy one: Princess, Beyond the Veil is well-known in the Arab world, and is still banned in Saudi. Is it true? Well, I think it is safe to say that a lot of it was true, especially in the time period in which the book’s titular character was living. A lot have read the book, which was first printed shortly after Op. Desert Storm, and think that the events are contemporary to that time (the late 80’s/early 90’s). However, most of what is described actually takes place in the 60’s and 70’s, with some events described later in the 80’s. Ms. Sasson was a Brit expat, who had heard many "rumors’, as we all have, and was looking for the perspective of an Arabic woman. She later did at least one follow-up book on the Princess’ daughters, as well.
No doubt about it: honor killings, sexual and physical abuse at the hands of siblings and family members, and incest have all been issues that Saudi women have had to face; the situation has improved to a great degree, and it’s rare to hear any of the same type of stories today (or through the 90’s, when the book was popular). Of the Saudi families that I am in regular contact with, all members (and they are pretty large families) would find the actions depicted just as reprehensible as we do; however, unlike in the West where we bring injustices such as these out in the open, the Arabs hate to have any kind of dirty laundry washed in public. Though many point to this reluctance as a symbol of their backwardness and a simple refusal to join the modern world, a large part of it is the ingrained notion of privacy that is so important to the Arab; they don’t talk about birth defects (which occur in quite large numbers, due to the allowance in Islam of marriage and procreation between first-cousins), they don’t talk about family misfortunes, they don’t discuss shameful or painful events. Most all Gulf Arabs come from nomadic tribes, and the nomads (or bedu/beduin - the Arabic word for nomad/nomads, which actually comes from the root word for “without”) that make up the main Saudi tribes scratched out their living among the Nejd, the central plateau of the peninsula. Like I said before, Riyadh means “gardens” in Arabic; for those that live there, I don’t think that would be the first word that would come to your mind on seeing the city. The Nejd is a very arid land mass, and living there was hard: the average Bedu will tell you he can live on dates and camel milk, and that was pretty much all they had, with the exception of items they could trade for. Living and moving in large tribal groups, the only thing a bedu could call his own was privacy; everything else was part of the community. Not an excuse for any particular form of behavior, mind you, but part of the overall reason for why things are the way they are today.
On to the general attitude toward women: Saudi is a male-dominated society, and the Arab peninsula always has been. Women have been seen as a way to provide heirs, and still are seen that way by many: I have friends that took second wives (yes, Muslims are allowed up to four, as long as all are treated absolutely equally) simply because their first wives couldn’t produce enough children. Saudis are encouraged to have as many children as possible; it is a pervasive desire, and has been there for hundreds of years. Most Saudi men think of themselves as sexual dynamos, as well: the malls and souqs are full of shops that sell honey (go in a honey shop and ask the seller which one is the best and, most importantly, why), sprays, powder, lotions and pills to sustain erections and make the male “more virile.” I have had Saudis tell me how they just have to have sex 4 and 5 times a day; many Saudi women get pregnant within weeks of having a baby, leading to families with 4 or 5 children 9 months apart in age. Families of 15 are not uncommon, nor are families with more than one mother (one wife is still the norm, followed closely by two - three and four wives are only for the very rich and powerful, as a matter of status). Many Arab men won’t marry an educated woman as their first wife; it is a common problem that professional women in Saudi - doctors and lawyers - can’t get married until they are in their late 20’s or early 30’s, and then only as second, third or fourth wives. Many of these women, especially the doctors, work in areas where there are Western men; they often meet them and get married, though this usually requires them to live in the West, as the local community would look down on her and him. Some go off to school in the West, and meet men there; they will visit their families, but will not live in Saudi on a permanent basis.
Though many think that these attitudes lead to a desire among Saudi men for submissive wives, that is not usually the reality: in Saudi, there are many ways of achieving a certain level of status, and one of the highest is to marry a South American woman, most especially a Brazilian. I remember, I think in 97 or 98, when the Brazil soccer team was invited to play in the King Fahd Cup; they were required to come to Riyadh for a match, and the Brazilians told the Saudis that they would only come if a contingent of their fans came with them. As Saudi soccer stadiums are all male, this was a tough request for the Saudis to handle, but they acquiesced: the game was played, and the crowd of Saudi men that came to see the Brazilian fans (there were about 1,000 allowed, a few hundred were female) was phenomenal. Not to mention it was one of the television highlights for months…
Also, many Saudi men will readily admit that, while they may be the boss in public, the wives rule the house: decoration, furnishing, the children, are all the wife’s domain. While the men are out in sheesha palaces or coffee shops, the women usually gather at each other’s houses to talk, cook, plan shopping trips, etc. This division has always existed for the nomads, and still does today among the city dwellers (there are still beduin in Arabia, but most Saudis and others are properly called hatheri, the Gulf Arabic term for the sedentary population).
Hope this answers more questions than it creates. Anything that isn’t clear, or any questions, I will do my best.
Thanks again -
