I am eating a strawberry. Well good for you, csharpmajor, you might say, but that is not the point. This strawberry is not, in fact, a strawberry, but slightly acidic WATER in a strawberry-like covering the size of a small apple, I kid you not (incidentally, apples used to be the size of this here strawberry until they also ballooned to unholy proportions). I AM SO FUCKING SICK OF FRUIT THAT DOES NOT TASTE LIKE FRUIT SHIT FUCK CUNT TWATWAFFLE.
Thank you 
Allow me to be the first: WTF???
Oh, I know exactly what the OP is saying. Fruit that you buy at the grocery store these days seems to be super-sized compared to my childhood fruit memories. Unfortunately, the unit flavor has not grown at an equivalent pace.
Sorry bout editing the quote…I didn’t want to preview and see CUN TWAFFLE again.
We’ve got an apple tree in the back yard. It produces such small, appley, fruit of stunning appleness that I can’t actually apple, des-apple-cribe how apple appley they are.
Unlike the ones we get from the store, any one of which would feed a small korean family. (Which would still then die of malnourishment.)
Not only are they good. They’re dangerous. They’ve had no insecticide, and there’s just no knowing when you’ll get an apple that’s got an additional, symbiotic, resident.
So, strong, sweet, and dangerous. Just like LIFE used to be.
We sometimes get wild strawberries in our yard. If we find them before the birds get them, they (the berries, not the birds) are incredible. They are about the size of the fingernail on my pinkie. It’s as if the taste and sweetness of a whole pint of the supermarket jumbo berries has been compacted into that one tiny morsel.
There is nothing better than fresh local strawberries. For those 2 weeks that Ontario strawberries are in season; orgasmic.
Buy from your local farmers. Cheaper and better than any chain.
I haven’t had a decent plum in years. I find great peaches on occasion- every two years or so.
Wild blueberries…
Wild huckleberries.
But yeah. Pit harshly the fruit that does not taste like fruit. I don’t want huge, I don’t want glossy-perfect, I want *good. * And I’m willing to eat it only in season, too.
Ah, yes… I remember well hunting the wild strawberries of yore.
Up well before the icy dawn, the scent of female strawberry urine strong in the air surround my strawberry blind. After a while, I grow used to its odor, catching the more subtle aromas of other wild fruits in the area. The Sun rises and I catch a sight of one in the distance. Is it? Yes! It is… The movement of tree limbs reveals a large male strawberry, its rack full and heavy. It disappears from my eyes for but a moment and reappears some twenty yards upwind of me. So close! Having already cocked my rifle with a fresh round, and holding at the ready, I aim my weapon. One glorious explosion of sound… I keep the sight up to my eye, looking for the felled beast. It was down on the ground, not even twitching. Leaving the shelter of my blind, I approach the great fruit. The single shot had ripped thru its neck, severing the spinal column. Driving home in the early sfternoon sun later that same day, I happily lift my finger in greeting to all the other hunters who acknowledge my hunting prowess. I had met the giant strawberry, in the wild, and I - MAN - had prevailed.
Too bad it tasted like ass…
You sure they were strawberries and not dingleberries? 
This is the important part - I’m surprised that the OP expected anything other than crappy-tasting strawberries so far out of season.
Someone needs to take you snipe hunting.
Quite a trophy kill, those snipe. And tasty.
It’s summer here, man.
Damn internets…
I’ve seen 'em. Never eaten one though. Buggers are tough to bag. 
I wish that this were true.
I do buy local farm fruits and veggies when I can, but the sad fact is that they usually cost at least twice the price of the grocery store.
On the other hand, the wild blueberries in my yard are free but for the price of my labor. And they are fantastic. My 1.5 year old loved to pick them herself, and was very traumatized to discover that they were “all done” by early August. She thought the yard was her personal snack bar. 
Really? Is this common in other places too?
Tomatoes. Every now and then you run into a tomato that tastes like tomatoes used to taste. Remember tomato flavor? You can approach it if you grow your own. Same thing with blueberries.
When I was in high school, my best friend’s family owned an old farmhouse up in Cooks Forest, PA. The couple of times I went, we’d get up early and go pick huckleberries, and her mom would make fresh huckleberry pancakes. Damn, those were delicious!