If I have to sit and listen to just one more whiny-assed Canadian complain about “you shouldn’t call yourselves ‘Americans’ because there are other countries on both American Continents and blah, blah, blah, blah,” I’m going to punch the irrelevant little turd square on his upper lip. And knock his teeth out.
What am I supposed to call myself, then, genius? United Statesian? That won’t cut it, either. That could mean the United States of Mexico, couldn’t it.
I’ll go with the absurdly long “I am from the United States of America” like you suggested, just as soon as you routinely insert “Dominion of” in front of “Canada” in your daily speech, moron.
Another thing: The US (notice how I didn’t say “America” just to keep you happy, dumbass?) mints coinage in certain denominations. You people insist on minting small change that exactly matches the size, weight, denomination, and color of ours. That’s just a coincidence, right? You aren’t trying anything funny, right? Bull.
I swear, 5% of the Canadian GNP has to come from ripping off the Americans. Heh, I said the magic word.
Don’t pretend you don’t speak English, either. You had no problem with it until about 14 milliseconds before you got arrested for shoplifting. The English word for “lawyer” is “lawyer,” and you will be going home on time. Not the way you planned, but on time.
Yes, I have to deal with tourists from time to time. I have no idea why, because all they do is take pictures of the crumbling granite and marble monstrosity on the slope, get back on the bus, and leave.
The Japanese are fine, the Germans are fine, hell, even the French can be polite once they leave their own country. Canadians are, without exception, rude and so, so convinced of their natural superiority. They all seem to have the same smug we-are-so-much-more-enlightened-than-the-Yanks and we-are-so-much-better-in-every-way superior attitude.
Screw off. Stay home.
I’m tired of you people.
My grandmother was Canadian, for crying out loud. I have a bunch of relatives over the border, and you must have relatives here. At this point, however, I am considering looking into therapy which will help me forget your very existence.
You people make me tired. I am not an evil Imperialist. I am not in the least bit interested in “enslaving the Iraqi people” in order to “steal their oil.” Yes, I do know what’s going on in Iran, and I hope those people can aquire their freedom without outside intervention*. Yes, I do know what’s going on in Liberia, and it sickens me, but I’m not sure if outside inervention* is appropriate. And yes, I know what’s going on in Congo.
No, the United States of America isn’t currently doing anything about the “problems in Africa,” as opposed to the Dominion of Canada, which is doing… uhm… what, exactly?
Sorry about the long disjointed rant, but the French-Canadian tourists are killing me. Obnoxious bastards, the lot of them.
- “Outside intervention” means “United States Marine Corp” and “United States Navy” and “United States Army” and “United States Air Force.” Don’t believe me? Check up on what the French military is (not) doing under UN auspices in the Congo.
