I hate Canada. Who's with me?

Shania Twain, Brian Adams, shitty overpriced beer, loonies, twoonies, bitching about how the US has corrupted their country while they work in the States, watch our TV shows, visit our cities, buy our music, and generally forget that we make their cold, boring, shitty, country livable. Kilometers, the dumb way they pronounce or-gan-i-z-a-t-ion, rezour-ces,…CBC, the goddamn word “eh”, curling, the way they drive the speed limit in the left friggin lane,…


The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don’t have it.
George Bernard Shaw

Ah, you’re just jealous.

Things we Canadians hate about the U.S.: How Americans travel to our country and take advantage of our campgrounds, wilderness, and other “rezour-ces”, but haul in their own gas and food and don’t spend a cent here; how American tourists (in Canada and overseas) consistently complain about how much better the food, malls, stadiums, attractions, etc, etc, are so much better “back home” (so stay there, I say); megalomaniac politicians; gang warfare; crack; your stupid paper money (all of the bills look EXACTLY the same); rap music; Touched by an Angel; that Taco Bell dog; the KKK and David Duke; the NRA; Dennis Rodman…

HA! Everytime I’ve been at a US gas station near the border it’s been full of Canadians! If you guys don’t want to buy your own gas, why should we? :slight_smile:

There’s only one thing that truly bugs me about Canadians: the way you bitch about us usurping the term “American” but go into conniptions if anyone calls you one.

Jahender: as for the music, Canadian Top 40 is pretty vile, but no worse than its American counterpart. Having said that - you left out Anne Murray :slight_smile:


Never regret what seemed like a good idea at the time.

Ohhhhhhhh. Things WE don’t like about the States - you forgot Monty Python’s assesment of American beer: Making love in a canoe (i.e. f**king close to water). Also, may I add the seven dozen confrontational talk shows? Metal detectors in the high schools … I’m gonna like this thread.

-E-

Dang. In that message ‘American beer’ referred to U.S. beer. A long long time ago, I accepted that American belongs to that big country just to the south of the good place to live …

-E-

Hey, Canadians gave us hockey, one of the greatest of all sports. For that reason alone, I love those guys! :slight_smile:

Adam

I hate Canada.
When my husband and I were there sightseeing in Niagra Falls, we got pulled over in customs, asked to leave the car (with my purse in it) asked for our ID’s while they went through our car (there was literally nothing in it- it was new and our luggage was back at the hotel on the American side). We waited 25 minutes while the fiddle-fucked around, I started getting pissed- asking if we were being detained or what? What they hell were they looking for, for Christs sake? We were the ultimate tourists- a young couple, both wearing matching “Canada” hats (don’t ask) and only bringing back postcards and a coffee mug. When we left, I gave them a big “f-you, I"m NEVER ever coming back to this shitty country”. And I swear I never will. They treated me like a crimminal for NOTHING except going over and looking at the falls from their side. I understand they pull over every so many people, blah, blah, blah, but they didn’t have to be such assholes about it. I went through security in the port of Miami and they weren’t that rude (and they’re looking for drugs, for Gods sake).
That’s my rant. Thank you for your attention. :slight_smile: :slight_smile:
(I do love the Barenaked Ladies, though. Thanks for that, Canada!)


An optimist sees an opportunity in every calamity; A pessimist sees a calamity in every opportunity.

Zette, which direction were you going when you got harrassed? I’ve had several problems re-entering the U.S., but I’ve only had one rude Canadian customs inspector in over 40 years of crossing the border.

Jahender: you should simply get down on your knees and thank God every night for Canada and Gordie Howe (even if you’re too young to remember him).

OTOH, I think Molson’s, Labatts, and Moosehead (yes, the non-export versions) are seriously overrated skunk beers. They are obviously superior to the Miller and Budweiser froths, but there are a lot of U.S. beers with more flavor but smaller advertising budgets. I am sure that Canada produces good small-brewery beers that don’t make it across the border, but the mass-produced stuff is as bad as Yank beer, just different.


Tom~

Amen. Are you a resident of Hockeytown Tom?

Adam

I’ve never had a problem with Canada/US border crossings, and I’ve done it lots of times.

The only problem I really had (aside from Nigeria, which is a story of itself) with immigration/customs was when I went to Australia. The plane landed at about 3 AM local time, and the line I was in had a chatty official – “Welcome to Austrahlyuh, mate, did you have a good flight? Where are you from? Don’t miss the zoo. Did you get tickets for the outback?..” My god, all I wanted was to get the hotel, and he was personally welcome each arriving passenger… Grrrrr. Him, I coulda shot.

The Canadian inspectors are on the lookout for drugs and for guns, BTW, among other things. They’re more civilized in Canada about some things.

ARG220:

I’m a misplaced Michigander, (30 years in SE Michigan, including 8 years of school in Detroit), forced out in the 1980 Depression, currently living in NorthEast Ohio.


Tom~

I love Canada, but I do resent … Celine Dion.

Any country that thinks ebonics is a language, enough said!

arg: do you know from where the canadians got hockey?
you guessed it, iceland :slight_smile:
according to old icelandic tales (dating as far back as before the year 1000) icelanders sometimes played a game during the winters on the icecoverd lakes of iceland. it was pretty violent. but it involved a ball and a stick used to hit the ball, you get the picture.
and if you look at the first winter olympics records, you see that canada won the hockey event, but the majority of the team had icelandic names.
the only source on the internet that i found was this one: 1919-20 World Championship Team : Walter Byron; Konrad Johanneson, Robert Benson; Chris Fridfinnson, Magnus Goodman, Frank Frederickson, Haldor Halderson.
http://www.azhockey.com/squadsCanada.html
bold being iceland originated names(scandinavian before that)

Semifinals in the first winter olympics 1924: Canada over Britain, 19–2; USA over Sweden, 20–0. Third place: Britain over Sweden, 4–3 (also decided European title). Final: Canada over USA, 6–1.

and for the topic of this thread, canada is a country where i would like to live, i think people here know my opinion of the us.

bj0rn

jesus, next he’ll be taking credit for our beer!
Canada…wide open , green, clean spaces, safe schools,( our tv sucks moose wang, but some of our music is great (when you take into consideration the diff. in population, it makes sense that the U.S. has more good music.)we have the same social problems as the us, on a MUCH smaller scale…poverty, homelessness, unemployment…illiteracy…etc

The US…great music (except that rap crap), great tv, and movies…guns in the schools…the streets…the homes…drugs galore (oh BTW, thanks a bunch for sending your dope north…really appreciate it!)…your country things its ok for the president to bang everything in a skirt…and then your government will whine about “family values”…

and at the border…well, if so many rootin’ tootin’ gun shootin’ cowboys didnt try to cross…we wouldnt need border guards.

I think the US is a great place…but I wouldnt want to trade. :slight_smile:

Big Iron, we don’t like Celine Dion either. We just think the rest of the world should suffer along with us. :wink:


I prefer rogues to imbeciles because they sometimes take a rest.
Alexandre Dumas the Younger (1824-1895)

oh god…forgot about her…I hate celine dion, and that shania twain too…what a pair of over valued, under talented, anorexic, self important , married to their managers, bimbos.
Whew…I feel better now!
I however LOVE the Barenaked Ladies…I got to meet them about 3 years ago, they were very nice, and totally cool to talk to…I talked to the lead singer about being ‘chunky’ and shopping for clothes in the ‘husky’ section as a kid…what a hoot!

As long as the fur is flying…

We are bigger than you. Check a map.
We don’t have Jesse Helms, Pat Buchanan, Jerry Falwell, or Fred Phelps.
We have Montréal.
We don’t have Baltimore.
We fought you once in 1814. We won. Yep, marched right down into Washington and burned down the White House.
We have two official languages. You guys don’t even have one.
Admit it. It is so much cooler to pronounce lieutenant “leftenant”.
Our national anthem actually has the name of the country in it.
Our flag is better designed. You have all those silly little stars squeezed off in one corner. We’ve got the big old maple leaf right in the middle.
Gays are protected by the Civil Code of all ten provinces, and the Supreme Court gave us domestic partner benefits country wide. By way of contrast, there is anti-gay legislation in place in some 38 states.
We have fewer political divisions.
We have more political parties.
We have socialized (i.e. free at point-of-sale) medicine.
If you were a socialist in the US in the fifties, you got blackballed. If you were a socialist in Canada in the fifties, you got elected to the Saskatchewan legislature.
We have gun-control legislation.
You spend far too much on the military.
Metric. Admit it. It is so much easier to multiply by 10 than it is to remember how many rods there are in a furlong.
We have never had a civil, revolutionary, or Vietnam war.
Nobody ever assassinated the prime minister.
We have Svend Robinson, not to mention an actual left-wing federal political party.
Everyone loves us, except for the US and possibly Serbia.

Don’t get me wrong. We don’t hate you. You just need to be supervised at all times!

I was getting all huffy, there, and preparing to release a broadside against Canada, and then, out of the blue, you quoted Alison Bechdel.

Anyone who reads and quotes this woman has marvelous taste, should not be trifled with, and is probably right about everything else as well.

So long, Manhattan…Manitoba, here I come.

(Have I mentioned that I like Alison Bechdel?)


Uke