I just smashed off the tip of my little toe walking. The whole front peeled right off quite deep. The two bandaids are not holding in the bleeding so I’m off for the paper towels.
I am also remarkably accident prone.
Example 1:
When I was in my last year of grad school, I managed to break my finger in a car door and get mugged all in the same night. This was the day my boyfriend dumped me. That was a bad, bad day. Then, a year to the date all that had happened, I slammed my finger in a car door and got mugged. Again. Fortunately, I didn’t have a boyfriend at the time, or I’m sure he would have dumped me. Though I’m not certain that this is being accident prone so much as shitty-situation prone.
Example 2:
Decided to make dessert one day. Chocolate chunk cookies might be nice. Oooh, we only have this block of chocolate, no bag of chocolate chunks. I guess I can cut the block up with a big knife, making chocolate chunks. Hmmm, look at that. Looks like someone cut the tip of their finger off. Oh, that’s mine?
Example 3:
Last year, I was recovering from shingles, which had been in my eye, swelling it shut (how I managed to develop shingles at 32 is a mystery). I was so delighted not to look as much like Quasimodo anymore that I decided my husband should invite his friends to dinner. Of course, I’d cook! Yeah, don’t try using a mandolin slicer if you can’t see out of one eye. Not having any depth perception can ensure that you don’t have a fingerprint on your thumb anymore. I sliced the fleshy pad of my thumb right off.
Oh, and did I mention that I’ve broken no less than four plates in the past three years while my toddler, who is 2 and 1/2, has broken none, even though he’s never used a plastic plate? Yeah, that’s me - graceful to the core.
I never try to do anything that involves precision and great coordination because I’m absolutely the clumsiest person I know. I never have done myself serious injury but I often break things/drop everything/slip and fall/embarrass myself.
I also have a problem with aiming my hands when I open/close things. I count at least six cuts on my hands from bashing them into the corners of drawers/doors at work while opening or closing them. Two of them are actually on the same place on my right thumb, except they’re perpendicular which has resulted in a nice pink almost X-shaped scar.
I have a tremendous amount of bad luck but the latest one was when I was trying to move a 10’ x 6’ flatbed trailer off the beach. The tarmac was higher than the beach so I attached a rope to the trailer and attached this to the car. This was done because the trailer was between a lamp post and a parked car and the road was too narrow to couple-up and swing my car around in the usual way. Two lads in their late teens were watching so I asked them to keep an eye on things. The trailer was pulled up onto the tarmac OK so I stopped and opened the drivers door in order to reappraise the situation. One front corner of the trailer was about three inches from a parked car - not a problem really. Just then the lads pushed the trailer and with it being a 4 wheeler it now travelled in the direction of its wheels, NOT in the direction of the car that had been pulling it. To the lads and my dismay the trailer went into the drivers door of a parked car . The lads ran away leaving me to deal with the irate car owner who was demanding £400 ($600) and a days car hire while the scratches were fixed. As the scratched Renault Scenic isn’t worth £400 it all gets a bit messy but hopefully the insurance can deal with it. The trouble is that after the Scenic owner had made a claim he decided that he’d rather accept £200 cash. Well sorry about that but I’m not going to pay him now that he has stuffed my No Claims Bonus - he can’t have his cake and eat it. Perhaps those lads did it on purpose but its not my fault.
One good tip is to wear Doctor Martens safety footwear with steel toecaps. If you are wearing these and heavy objects fall on your toes you won’t be hurt. They are also very useful if you have to deal with cattle or horses which are apt to tread on ones feet.
I fell upstairs at work this week. No physical damage, but my dignity may never recover. Usually it wouldn’t be a problem, at that time those stairs would be deserted - but it happened because I was hurrying not to be late to parents’ evening. Many of my students, dozens of parents, and a number of my less-kind colleagues saw (and laughed immoderately at) my graceless moment. I usually cultivate a very dignified persona at work, which made it worse for me, but way more amusing for them. Ah well - it was a pretty dry occasion, I’m glad I livened it up for them.
I have been lucky to avoid any serious injury. My clumsiness is usually in direct proportion to the potential for embarrassment.
My partner and I started working out with a personal trainer a few months ago. At our first session, the trainer had us outside of the gym running through the rungs of a plastic/nylon fire escape ladder he had laid on the sidewalk. As we were heading back into the gym for the rest of the workout, he called the ladder exercises “agilities.” I said, “Oh, those should be good for me. You may not have noticed, but I am rather uncoordinated.” I then pushed the door open, tripped on the two inch step going into the gym and fell flat on my face.
I work in a kitchen, and I’m extremely clumsy. I just counted them up and, right now, there are fourteen burns, scratches, and cuts on my right hand in various stages of healing. On the left, around six. I don’t remember how any of them (except maybe one or two) got there.
Not me, but a friend:
His basement staircase has three steps leading down from the kitchen onto a landing, then a 90-degree turn and another 10 or so steps down into the basement.
Not long ago he fell down the entire flight of stairs. That’s right. He fell three steps, turned the corner, then fell the rest of the way.
mmm