Hey, Your Majesty! How ya doin’? I’m hear to pick up Princess iiandrinaiiii for the ball.
In my court, women and girls make decisions for themselves – you are free to pick up any adult if she chooses to accompany you.
In the dungeon you can have a 12 pack. But it’s Keystone Light.
That’s inhuman!!!
Can I be the royal pet? I’ll make sarcastic remarks using my Gilbert Gottfried impersonation.
You are hereby made the Royal Good Boy. You may frolic and play as you wish, with all the scritches you desire.
I promise to bring you Golden Beer, Franken Senses Pretzels and Myrrh Pizza. How’s about it?
*Everyone’s licking up to the new King Pin
Trying to get way up with a smile
Sing for your supper boy and jump to a finger click
Ain’t my way of living in style
Well the way that we’re living
Is all take and no giving
There’s nothing to believe in
The loudest mouth will hail the new-found way
To be king for a day*
–XTC
He can walk his fancy assed metal wrapped
self to the curb with the trash and the lawn needs mowing. The castle keep is looking kinda ragged.
I’m gonna see King-o-dude for a annulment. This is ridiculous.
You are hereby made Minister of Catering. The entire Royal Catering Corps is yours!
We, here at the Palace think we can make our food better and cheaper ourselves. We don’t need no stinkin’ take out.
The Royal treasury allows us to do both, as we see fit.
WTH? The royal treasury is full of old railroad bonds and confederate money. Get thee to the kichens and cook up some vittles for the right and proper King and his courtiers, namely me. Wings will do fine.
Your jests and gibes amuse me. You are hereby made the Royal Jester.
Well, it’s high time I was 'preciated. I may have to switch my loyalties again. I like a good job upgrade. I hope the pay is sufficiently upped as well!
Amuse the court, and you will never lack comfort and means again!
Can you get me a proper tiger. I really, really need one. Can’t be worse than my Siamese house cats.
Also can you do anything about my errant tin can wrapped Prince. He refuses to carry out his husbandly duties. Mainly trash and yard work. How many crusades does he really need to go on? You can’t get good help these days. The peasants refuse to work. They’re kinda weak and hungry looking, just saying. I don’t presume to know affairs of the kingdom but those peasants are a problem.
I thought you were the Court Jester, not the Court Complainer.
Well the political circus that is The Palace requires the squeaky wheel to squeak loudly. Nothing ever gets fixed around here. It’s a joke.
Not a very good jester if you need to point out your jokes.