[QUOTE=Jodi]
Today is the eve of Yom Kippur, the Jewish day of atonement.
[/QUOTE]
Ah, that makes more sense. I thought he was trying to blow quickly through Step 9.
[QUOTE=jjimm]
Rosh Hashanah (Jewish new year).
[/QUOTE]
Damn it …I hate this time of year…I keep writing 5767 on my checks… :smack:
tsfr
I offer my apologies, as well, to those whom I have hurt with my words here. I’m not always the best person I can be, and I will strive to improve in the New Year.
L’shanah tovah tikatev v’taihatem, C K, Scuba_Ben, ThisSpaceForRent (I think); L’shanah tovah tikatevi v’taihatemi, MsRobyn and all my other Jewish brethren here at the Straight Dope. May everyone be inscribed and sealed!
[QUOTE=Miller]
To anyone over the last year who I may have offended, accidentally or intentionally, allow me to say, “Suck it, bitches.”
[/QUOTE]
This, no lie, is almost word for word what I was going to post.
[QUOTE=Sean Factotum]
Ah, that makes more sense. I thought he was trying to blow quickly through Step 9.
[/QUOTE]
If’ you’ve offended Stephen Colbert, you might want to take a moment to call 1-800-OOPS-JEW.
Ed Asner: If this is Mr. Colbert, I guess you could say this is Edward Os-NAY.
Stephen: Ed, I’m ready to accept your apology.
Ed: There’s no way in hell I’m apologizing. You asked me to wear the bracelet. I wore it because I care about wrists, not about you.
Stephen: Everything is about me, Ed.
Ed: You are a stooge for the administration, and a shill for big business. You’re everything that’s wrong with this country.
Stephen: So you won’t say you’re sorry?
Ed: I’ll say you’re a sorry son-of-a-bitch.
Stephen: Apology accepted.
Ed: I didn’t apologize.
Stephen: Too late, congratulations on a successful atonement.
Ed: I didn’t atone. You know what Mr. ColberT? You’ve got spunk.
Stephen: Well, thank you Mr. Asner, that’s nice of you to say.
Ed: I hate spunk!
[QUOTE=Shayna]
L’shanah tovah tikatev v’taihatem, C K, Scuba_Ben, ThisSpaceForRent (I think); L’shanah tovah tikatevi v’taihatemi, MsRobyn and all my other Jewish brethren here at the Straight Dope. May everyone be inscribed and sealed!
[/QUOTE]
Aww shucks…I would be proud to be included as a brethren but it would be a lie…(got snipped at birth 
)
The “5767 on my checks” schtick was a favorite of mine when I worked as a waiter/bartender in a white linen hash-house in Clayton MO.
shalom
tsfr
[QUOTE=C K Dexter Haven]
If there’s anyone out there whom I have offended during the last year, whether known to me or unknown to me, I humbly ask your pardon and forgiveness.
'Tis the season.
[/QUOTE]
I notice you didn’t start this in the Pit. Good move, Dex. 
Have a good fast.
[QUOTE=GingerOfTheNorth]
Have a good fast.
[/QUOTE]
Just remember not to overexert yourself. Take it slow while you’re on your fast.
Shalom, all. May your names be written in the Book of Life.
FINALLY!! I can come back to the boards now!
Thank you, Dex, but there was really no need.
I already forgave you when you cut me off on the I-95 just before the Jacksonville exchange. It was minor, and I did’t even need to lock up the brakes.
Hell, if I had had such a truly hot brunette blowing in MY ear in that convertible, I’d of probably wrecked all 6 lanes of traffic!
So, shalom!
(Apologies to our Jewish friends here if I said that last sentence wrong)
What about the people you HAVEN’T offended, eh? Where’s OUR apology? Asshole. 