Having a bad headache today, I took my usual cure of a long walk, distractions, and plenty of caffeine/pain medicine. For a different change of pace, I did my walking in the mall (light and noise doesn’t really bother me when my head hurts - it’s my head hurting that bothers me. If that makes any sense.)
So I walk past the toy store… KayBee toys*, I think it is. And there, out on display, were those yapping toy dogs that were on sale for this hour only at the low low price of $9.99. Thinking my 19 month old daughter would love it**, I picked one up, including a 6-pack of batteries*** and when I was done with the walk (and when the headache was done with me) I took it home (Do I really need to point out the mistakes any more?).
She loves it. Absolutely adores it. Oh, she was afraid of it for the first couple of minutes but after Mommy and Daddy reassured her and played with the dog for a few minutes, she was OK with it.
But… she refuses to play with it with the yapping turned off, and protests LOUDLY and VOCIFEROUSLY when we try to involve her with it with the yapping off. So now I’m on our 3rd hour of “yip-yip-yip-yip-yip-yip-yip”, the headache is back, and my wife hates me.
But I swear I did it out of love. And the baby appreciates it, which is all that matters. But… never again****.
I swear that every Christmas and (kids) birthday, I remember just too late to politely circulate a 'please, no incessantly racuous indoor presents and every year there will be at least one (usually electronic) toy that has no volume setting, but really, really should have.
I’m sure this won’t win me any points with you parents out there, but I’m the annoying aunt who would delibrately disregard such a request.
My younger sister has two little girls, 6 and 3, and few things make me happier than buying the loud, annoying toy, putting it together, installing the batteries and then going home. Don’t get me wrong, I won’t buy a toy for loudness’ sake alone, it has to be something the girls would genuinely enjoy, but at the same time, I won’t put something fun with lots of music and flashy lights back on the shelf simply because it’s loud.
I have a tip - either for the obnoxious relatives like me to buy or for parents who value their quiet time to avoid. My youngest neice recently turned three, and after several trips to toy stores all over the central Jersey area, I finally found Elmo and Cookie Monster potato sack racers. Loud, colorful, jumpy - they’re great, and best of all, the baby loves them.
See, I’m exactly the opposite. I stewed and fretted for days leading up to a birthday party for my friend’s kid. I’d gotten her one of those little paddle ducks on a stick (you push it along, and the feet flap and it quacks), and I was terribly afraid it was going to be too noisy and annoying and my friends would hold it against me forever. (I wasn’t worried about retaliation, though, as I was sure they weren’t going to buy the cat drum set or anything.)
It was the quietest toy the kid got. And most of the loud, annoying gifts came from fellow parents–the same folks who bitch when their own kids got loud toys.
My BIL (the only one still single and childless) takes great delight in purchasing noisy toys for his neices and nephews. Drives everyone nuts but just makes his day. Whats more it makes the kids day, they love gifts from him, which in the end is what is really important.
Well, this morning (and after two more hours of yip-yip-yip-yip-yip-yip-yip) when the baby was asleep, I took the puppy to Goodwill so he can find a nice home. God was that thing irritating!!
Hey, props for the Denis Leary reference in the thread title. So you should have known better!
“<kkkkkkkk>use the force luke<kkkkk> for fifteen freaking minutes!”
Thanks, Elwood! My wife and I were big fans of that animated series about the shrink (Dr. Katz?) back in the '90s, and the episode where Leary was on talking about that Darth Vader toy just killed us, making the above phrase part of our family lexicon.
Puppy is now in Goodwill, and little Sophie hasn’t noticed that it is missing. This window of opportunity to right past toy wrongs is quickly closing though… I doubt that I will be able to get away with that a year from now.
