I called the police on the neighbours today -- domestic violence

Today I called 999 when I heard a argument between my neighbours escalate. In due course two police cars, an ambulance and finally a forensic van arrived. I was later contacted for a statement and told that they had a man in custody. It seems it was a lot more serious than I thought at the time. I’m feeling pretty disturbed about the whole thing and wondering what will happen next. I have agreed to appear as a witness in court if it comes to it. It’s the right thing to do but I feel worried.

My neighbour K and her little boy S moved in next door last summer. She was pregnant with a baby girl who is now five months old. She’s a pleasant woman and S is a lovely kid. I haven’t got to know her well but we said hi and talked about the weather, her kids and my cats. After a few weeks I met boyfriend M, the father of S and the baby. After that I was aware that M was staying at the house for a few days at a time. Then the arguing started, lots of arguing, not pleasant to hear but not a cause for involving officialdom.

A couple of months before the baby was born M didn’t seem to be around anymore. I heard K crying lot and shouting at the little boy. I took some home grown tomatoes round as a friendly gesture. K has a best friend and family, I felt concerned but not responsible. Once the baby was born K seemed happy and M was back on the scene. However I still heard them arguing. Generally K’s voice would predominate.

I’m not the kind of person to keep tabs on the neighbours but we live in a row of Victorian terraces in Northern England so we are in close proximity. My bedroom wall abuts hers and while, thankfully, the walls are thick loud music, children shrieking and loud adult voices penetrate. However I can rarely actually make out what people are saying. Nor do I try!

This morning I was having a lie in. M and K had been arguing in their usual fashion earlier on but I had been able to fall back to sleep. When I next woke it sounded worse than usual, M was shouting more and K was screaming at him. I had started wondering whether I should call the cops when there several loud thumps followed by K shrieking “Ow!” and saying “That really hurt.” That of course was when I dialled. By the time I was off the phone it had gone quiet, then I heard K sobbing.

Later there was a cop car outside and the police were talking to M on the street. I had to go out and walked past them without looking, hoping I looked like somebody not being nosy and not like someone guilty about calling the police. That’s when I saw the ambulance. The forensics van was there later when I came home.

The (plain clothes) policewoman who called to take my statement told me that M is currently in custody. She says she hopes they will prosecute and that M is a nasty piece of work. She also said that K and the kids are OK, which is a relief. I don’t know how this is going to play out. At the moment I’m as worried about seeing K as anything else. I really hope she doesn’t blame me for “making trouble” but I know it was right thing to do.

I don’t know what to say, except I’m happy you were there and you called.

K is a grownup and can make her own decisions, but I’m glad you called, because the kids may be safer now.

I understand your concerns, try to think of it this way, what if you hadn’t called and something truly terrible happened.
For all you know you may have saved a life.

Good for you. I had a somewhat-similar situation years ago - I could hear the neighbours with a shared wall arguing, it got pretty heated, and once I heard the sounds of bodies slamming into walls, I called it in. I never found out any details about what happened, but I’d do the same thing again in the same situation - the police are the ones who are trained to deal with a volatile situation like that.

Me, too, on having reported a similar situation years ago. Thanks for doing the right thing!

You did the right thing.

We did it once, too. Our neighbors fought frequently, but we kept our noses out of it. One day, though, they were out on their driveway, and the man was BELLOWING at the woman who was cowering and crying. There was an extra deadly note in his voice that we hadn’t heard before and it was getting frightening. We called the cops, who tackled the guy and spoke separately to the wife. The couple made up and drove off together, but continued fighting and screaming in the following months until the man moved out and they divorced.

And the woman now hates us for calling the cops that day. Sucks to be her.

I remember someone here saying “you should mind your own business” when a similar story was posted.

That’s fair enough, but when the screaming and throwing bodies against the wall gets loud enough, they kind of make it your business.