The gifts are packages of blow, and you’re expecting to wrap them using your body. Then, waddle through an airport.
My secret to gift wrapping involves gift bags. Put gift in bag; done. I’ve actually spent more on the gift bag than the gift in certain situations.
Aha! No such thing as an innocent out-of-the-blue gift wrapping job. You knew there’d be strings attached!
I e-mailed them to confirm the salary was monthly and received this response. Heh, notice how the exact job seems to have changed to Purchasing/Materials Manager:
**
Hi,
Our Company getting back regarding request on a Career Builder for vacancy of Purchasing/Materials Manager.
We received many applications for this opening and the screening process is still in progress. The search committee is looking through your profile and we are more than glad to say that you have been chosen for an interview.
Payment rate you will get starts from $87,400.00 up to $147,200.00 a year. Also you get adaptable schedule, and package of benefits: standard company health, life, disability and dental coverage.
Main duties are:
- Negotiate with vendors
- Monitor a team of Procurement Managers and provide direction to them
- Prepare agreement compliance and do optimization of contractual obligations
- Develop long-term strategic plans
- Manage office supply inventory and provide administrative support as required
Required conditions:
- Minimum 30 years old or older
- Be a resident of the USA or have permission to work
- Excellent decision making skills
- Be great time keeper
To verify your agreement for the position, please submit the following and write us back:
- Your Name & Surname:
- Current cell number:
Have a great day!**
Interestingly, I received a new offer out of the blue just a few days ago. (Man, do I lack ambition. I’ve not followed through on any of these.):
**Our logistic company got your profile information from job online resource for countrywide Supply Director opening.
Main duties are ordering on-line products & giving detailed description.
On this role your salary start at $77,800 a year.
All the extra expenditures will be covered upfront.
Our supervisor will be in touch to guide you through each level.
Obligations are:
- Legal work permit in the U.S.;
- Experience with Windows & MS Office;
- Be multiple tasks oriented;
- You must have a clear Credit History and Background.
For more detailed information, please write us with your Resume : XXX
Please note! Only persons with resume will be reached.
Thank you**
No! Take the gift-wrapping gig. People who do that find their wealth in creases.
No strings attached, only ribbons.
Sam you’re wasting your life, obviously you have highly marketable skills, don’t hide your light under a barrel.
But hiding lights under barrels may be the next job offer.
Well, if you aren’t going to take one of these jobs, then it’s just time to wrap this up.
Turn out the lights.
(Beatbox noises)
I’m Siam Sam and I’m the gift wrapper
I can wrap while I rap with rhymes straight from the crapper.
I put a little box on some paper – in the middle –
And when I fold the edges up, they only rip a little.
If I’m told I have to use some cheesy, lousy paper,
I’ll just use a little Scotch to fix it up and tape her.
And while I’m sittin’ here wrappin’ up the boxes,
I’ll be thinking ‘bout the gifts I’ll be buyin’ for my foxes.
Then when I’m done with the wrappin’ I put the junk into my trunk,
Hand it off to UPS and spend the money gettin’ drunk.
(Beatbox noises)
I can see your business card now:
Siam Sam, Paper Tiger
Ok so now apply for the manager job and see what the new job offer is. Soon you’ll be offered a job as President!
Hey, I want a job as a teenager in a bookstore!