When I meet someone for the first time I sometimes say to myself, “Yep, he/she has been in the military.” And it usually turns out I am correct.
I know this sounds strange, but I’m not sure how/why I’m able to pick up on it. I used to think it was because of the short hair worn by many male veterans. But some don’t have short hair, and I’m still able to tell. I’m now thinking it has something to so with speech, mannerisms, or eye contact. Any thoughts on this?
The way they walk (stiff, straight back)?
Are you prior service yourself? I am and can usually tell as well.
I think it’s a combination of all of that. It isn’t just one thing. If you’ve spent enough time around military, you just get to know what to look for.
Yes, good posture’d be one of my first clues too. Standing tall, shoulders back, head high, look you in the eye, audible, concise answers, etc.
No.
And the reverse seems to be true… I walk straight, look people in the eye, and am very fit for my age (I’m 39). Yet people correctly assume I am not former military.
Many people think I’m a veteran; I’m not. I have, however, been either a DoD civil servant or a contractor for most of my career, so the military air has rubbed off on me.
I have worked with a lot of ex-military, and the things that stand out the most are that they are physically fit, neat, polite, energetic and cooperative. I know this sounds like a cliche, but it is just my feeling. When my neice’s boy friend came home from the Marines, he said he could not get over how, dirty, impolite and lazy so many civilians were. (Specifically, he was referring to being in a fast food restaurant). Being polite and willing to work might not be visible in the sense of something like blonde hair or blue eyes, but I think it does contribute to an overall impression.
Do you make a yes military, not military for everyone you meet? And then verify your guess? If not maybe the ones you think are military that turn out to be military only works for the obvious ones. The ones you think not military may be in fact military but you didn’t ask them if they were so you don’t get credit for a “miss”. I am ex-Army but don’t think anyone has ever thought I was and have some that was sure I wasn’t. Just saying. I am one of the ones that delibrate military bearing, short haircuts, yes sir no sir to everything just wore me out and I never aclimated to that to the point of it being routine. Once out I pretty much rebelled against the militarisms.
A friend of mine came back from marine corps bootcamp a few years ago and I instantly noticed that he stood like he had two spines and gazed like he was borrowing somebody else’s. I just attributed it to the break and rebuild approach military uses.
I’ve also noticed a somewhat distinctive sense of humor among vets. Maybe it has something to do with the hazing pranks, like being sent out for a bucket of prop wash.
Malcolm Gladwell wrote about quick decision-making based on initial impressions. He calls it “thin-slicing”.
Kinda’ neat book, named “Blink” if you want to check it out.
You don’t need to be ex-military to notice that!
It’s kind of the same with any group of people. When I was in college, I could pretty much tell who at the party was not a student without even knowing them. I can often tell if someone was in a fraternity or a sports team or went to business school or is an attorney or accountant or investment banker. I even notice differences between people who grew up in NJ vs the Midwest or CT. When people are in groups, they tend to adopt subtle mannerisms of the group. There are also traits inherent to wanting to join those groups in the first place.
It’s not a perfect system though, which is why it’s dangerous to stereotype.
And they very often have what I can only describe as a very confident poise - not slinking along the edges of life. (Unless they’re SEALS, and they’re supposed to be slinking. 
)
As a female, I can tell you that people very rarely ever suspect us females of being military or former military.
Once while I was on active duty I was standing in line at the cashier in the PX. I was in civilian clothes. A little old lady, presumably the wife of a retiree, was standing behind me and asked, “Is your husband in the military?” I replied, “I’m not even married.” She humphed and refused to talk to me after that. My best guess is that she thought I was playing games with her, because *of course * my husband must be in the military, otherwise how could I be shopping at the PX?
There’s a lot of little things I notice, and I was just a cadet. I can tell ex-cadets and ex military apart too. But the major things I notice from ex-cadets:
Always stepping off with the left foot, no matter what.
Matching walking pace and foot with the person they’re beside. (And if they’re alone, walking at 120 ppm)
Straight-laced shoes are an absolute dead giveaway. (Obviously, it’s only a small portion of active/exmilitary that does this, but I’ve never seen anyone with straight laces that weren’t somehow connected with the military)
If you ever figure it out, can you tell me why people think I’m in the military? I’ve had dozens of people ask me what branch of the service I’m in. I’ve never enlisted.
Maybe it’s lieu’s clues: “Standing tall, shoulders back, head high, look you in the eye, audible, concise answers, etc.” None of that is from the military, it’s from other stuff in my background. Some people probably figure any guy my age living in Japan is probably in the military if he’s not in business. But even then, the Japan connection only accounts for about half the people I’ve met who just assumed I was former or current military.
Crafter, is anyone you know in the military, like a family member?
I have a close family member that’s a police officer, and I can often tell if someone is a police officer even if they’re in plain clothes.
I think the biggest indicators to me are speech patterns, posture, and vocabulary. Then there are the supporting indicators that serve to validate the aforementioned, such as manners (sir/ma’am etc.), haircut (length not important but clean and well kept none the less), shoes (good condition, servicable), and when at the bar doing shots, drinking elbow high to the side.
The funniest thing about clothes is that some guys were young (early 20’s), but they would dress like someone 30 yrs their elder (1970’s style shorts, socks pulled up, with big white tennis shoes. Hey, dude loosen up were going to the beach to chase ladies… not to play shuffleboard). But I think that had alot to do with the fact that this was the first time that they were on their own and hadn’t had guidance, nor cared, about what was current.
Things I notice about myself 2 and a half years removed…
I’ve always had a slow deliberate gait (even though I’ve ruck marched a zillion miles), but stepping off with the right foot does require premeditation.
My girlfriend is always telling he to stop shaving my head and grow a beard. I did it a few months ago, letting my hair grow unincumbered for about 6 weeks. I nearly went insane.
Word choice, speech rhythm, and volume level still haven’t changed. I notice that I’m still an agressive speaker. Not in subject matter, but in the fact that I direct my speech. There’s usually little doubt about who I’m talking to and what I require. And I laugh waaayyy too loud.
I have an old, semi-beat up pair of Doc Martens that I wear most days when I’m out and about, but my dress shoes for work are always immaculate to the point where people always comment on how nice they look. Ummm… Thanks?
However, I still can’t bring myself to properly keep my kitchen or bathroom clean… It’s just a mental block that I have.
With men it might be because they are careful to keep their shirt buttons and their fly in a straight line. 
I do all those things and no one’s ever though I was military. :mad:
Probably because I look like a fat old milkybar kid. 