So here it is, almost 2 AM. I’m up and totally lucid. My mind is more active and alert than it’s been all day. Yet I have to get up at 8:30 AM tomorrow (actually today), and have a full day of class followed by work. I know I am going to be completely out of it by the afternoon and I feel like there’s not a damn thing I can do about it. What I will end up doing is drink some caffeine to help get me through the roughest part of the day (the afternoon), and then completely crash out for a several hour nap as soon as I get home. Then I’ll be up and alert again at night, and start the whole cycle anew.
I know this is a probably unhealthy and vicious cycle. I do exercise, and although I would hate to give up caffeine, even during periods where I have given it up it seems to have little effect on the pattern. All my life I have been prone to getting really tired during the afternoons, and really active late at night no matter how much sleep I get, how much caffeine I consume or don’t consume, or how much I exercise. This is not very conducive to a 9-5 lifestyle, obviously, and it makes me mad. I’m not sure if I’m mad because I can’t seem to conform to society’s expectations, or because society fails to conform to mine. But either way, it pisses me off because I know I’m not treating my body right, and I further know that I’m not being as productive as I could be. These are golden hours of mental acuteness for me and I spend most of them lying in bed trying to force myself to sleep and getting frustrated because I can’t.
What the hell can I do? Anyone ever had a similar problem?