I can't wait to hear from the fertility doctor's office...

The BBQ Pit
21

You are one throbbing, pus-filled little hemorrhoid, aren’t you? I certainly hope your mother stapled and super-glued her cunt shut after she had you.

You’ve obviously displayed that you don’t quite have two brain cells to rub together so I’ll quote something for you. Read slowly so you get it all:

(Look! I even put it in BOLD so you could read it better!)

How you can defend someone who says that infertile couples are “selfish” because they are trying whatever in their means to have their own biological child? Your thinking is reprehensible and you should be very ashamed of yourself. Do you think people who conceive naturally are selfish?

VC03 deserved every insult he received. How dare that piece of shit kick people in the teeth when they’re down? It’s bad enough every. single. month. we are thrown around on an emotional roller-coaster: temperature taking, doctor’s appointments, hormone drugs, all the travel and time off of work, checking symptoms, excitement, worry, anticipation, then grief. EVERY. SINGLE. MONTH. And then someone comes along and passes judgment because some other person is taking the steps they desire to achieve their DREAMS?!

That was a horrible analogy. But since you are using that, let’s fly with it.

Someone with MS: their insurance doesn’t cover the wheelchair they need to get around and say it’s . . . oh $15,000 for the basic one and they can’t even guarantee it works and there are NO refunds. Doesn’t work? Well, you can spend another $15,000 to buy a new one. Oh, don’t have the money? Too bad – (in VC03’s world) quit being so selfish! How about their pain medication? According to him, it’s selfish for them to buy it to control it. People have it far worse than them, you know?

And your agony reasoning, what makes you think that agony is only in your nervous system or something you feel on your body? Emotional agony is just as hard. Or are you going to say depressive and suicidal people aren’t in agony?

From here.

We know there are options. Telling someone they’re SELFISH for pursuing the option they like best is cruel.

Squirming around in your uterus? Wow. That is so heartless. You obviously have never felt the pain of infertility or a miscarriage.

A little insensitive? He deserves FAR more disdain for what he said.

No one here was asking for opinions or endorsements on which route to solve infertility issues. VC03 decided to take it upon himself to tell the OP (and anyone else who is going through fertility treatment) that they’re SELFISH for not wanting to take the option VC03 wants them to take. And you have the balls to call ME out? I’m not the one passing judgement on others for a PERSONAL DECISION.

Maybe you should try READING a little more, you would see you (and your friends Greathouse and VC03) are clearly in the wrong here. You don’t pass judgment on couples who are doing their best to get around the problems they have. I don’t give a fuck what YOU would do in those circumstances. It’s a decision between you and your SO, or do you need to run it past all of us here before you make a huge, highly-personal, and very emotional decision?

22

Isn’t there a stress/infertility connection? You would think (gah, sometimes I’m so fucking naive) that an office supposedly committed to helping you get pregnant would go out of its *way * to keep you both as stress-free as possible. What’s better advertising for a fertility clinic than a bouncing baby?

Idiots.

23

Boo-fucking-Hoo

Life sucks. Get a fucking helmet.

I never defended the guy. I said that if you can’t control yourself any fucking better than that and get that pissy over such a small comment, you probably don’t need kids.

Why don’t you go find a way to fit your head up your snatch since it’s not pushing any kids out, and at least that way nobody will have to hear your woe is me ramblings.

If you’re looking for sympathy it’s in the dictionary between shit and syphilis.

24

Oh yeah, I’m outta here for the weekend. I’ll try to get back to you on Monday if I need to.
Hugs and kisses to all your pink parts, you crazy fucking bitch.

25

Bolding mine. If you really think infertility isn’t constant agony you’ve obviously been lucky enough to have never experienced it.

It took us eighteen months to conceive our daughter. After the first few months I could have spent every single moment of my life screaming and sobbing.

I’ve been trying to conceive our second since April. People seem to think it’s almost fun. Yeah having sex when you don’t want to and constantly checking your cervix and wondering if you’ll have have a sibling for your daughter without a whole lot of needles and watching your temps drop every month after you see an evaporation line on a pregnancy test is real fun. :rolleyes:

PinkMarabou I am in complete agreement with you on this thread.

26

Wow. If it’s such a hassle,… you’re gonna hate kids.

After reading that, I don’t think you know what a bad analogy is. It’s ok. I’m sure you thought that was a fantastic analogy!
I however do not think the following is a fantastic analogy.
MS person has a choice of two options. They are both (in certain cases) about as expensive. Option A is the best treatment, but might not work, which means paying more than once.
Option B, while being slightly inferior, has a much higher success rate, and due to some stupid promotion, everytime an MS person follows this route, a little girl from China gets a new good home.

You flew off the fucking handle.

27

And there is another route, that has the exact same sucuss rate as your second route, except it’s a fuckload cheaper, takes much less time, and some special needs child over the age of two gets a home.

But you know what? If someone doesn’t want a three year old/five-year old brother/sister pair, both with fetal alcohol syndrome, I’m not going to judge them for that. People want what they want. Having children at all is and OUGHT TO BE an inherently selfish choice: have kids (through whatever method) because you want them, not to do them or anyone else any favors. You want to help kids and contribute to the world? Volunteer for youth programs. Become a teacher. You’ll do more good. Have kids because you’re greedy for them. That’s how you give them a healthy, happy home. And if the kid you are greedy to have needs to come from between your loins, or needs to be an infant, or whatever, that’s fine. Don’t apologize for that.

Put it another way: does anyone here think they will be doing any favors for the kid in question if they guilt someone into having that they don’t really want?

28

This is exactly right. Selfishness isn’t necessarily a bad. Of course having kids is selfish. So what?

Some people don’t have kids because they can’t for any number of reasons. Why don’t I have kids? Because I’m selfish.

29

But didn’t you choose to get on that rollercoaster? Were you this miserable before you started trying to get pregnant? Or is your agony primarily a result of the attempts?

I’m not unsympathetic, but to further the MS analogy, no one chooses to have MS. :::treading carefully::: How bad would it be, really, if you never get pregnant? Does being childless, in and of itself, affect the overall quality of your life?

30

Uhhh…what about all the responsible people who want nothing more than basic medical care but don’t want to go broke in the process? There is plenty wrong with this great nation’s healthcare, but fertility treatment is nowhere near the top. The uninsured pay this kind of money for every basic piece of medical care they get. It’s easy to drop a few K just getting your damn wisdom teeth pulled, and god forbid you need some actual serious medical care. Medical treatment is the number on cause of bankrupcy (read: going completely broke) in this country. And we arn’t talking fertility treatment here- we’re talking life-saving stuff.

I feel sympathy for the infertile, but you have to admit that it boils down to having to pay/not being able to get something that you really really want- a state that most everyone has to go through at some point. It’s kind of offensive to say that for some reason you shouldn’t have to pay for this while everyone else is paying the same amounts and dealing with the same shit just to continue their life.

31

You must be the type of person who made fun of the handicapped kids in school. Are you proud of yourself? Making people feel bad when they have a medical condition? You are such a man! And then you defend others who are also spewing hate?

You tell me I flew off the handle, although until YOU waltzed in here and shit all over the place, no one was taking up for VC03. Everyone else thought his comment was WAY below the belt. It’s nice to see you shine a spotlight on how ignorant and insensitive you are. Let’s hope you don’t have kids, we don’t need anymore jackasses like you running around here.

You know, I’m not going to feed you anymore. If you think baiting and insulting people with your nonsensical drivebys is going to make you look like you have a cock, go right for it. You’re only making yourself look like the moron we all know you to be around here.

LavenderBlue, thank you. To some, VC03’s comment was small and meaningless. To us, who have to struggle with this, that was like pouring paint thinner in a open wound. But you know, fate has a funny way of making people see where they were wrong. I have faith in that.

32

I think the Reproductive Industry ( and that is exactly what it is right now) is the largest unchecked, unmonitored business out there.

Good luck Max and screw them mightily!

33

I absolutely chose to go on this rollercoaster, and no I wasn’t this miserable before. I’m not miserable right now as we’ve decided to put everything on hold until my husband gets his degree (or until we hit the lottery, wishful thinking).

I’m not asking for hugs and rainbows here, I’m asking that someone not come in this thread and completely hijack it to espouse their hateful views and put people down who are, in their own right, suffering a loss. That’s a terrible thing to do to people who are going through something very difficult in their lives.

For women and men who really want to have children of their own, it can be very heartbreaking. You grow up taking for granted that you will be able to easily fulfill one of your dreams.

I was fortunate enough to be able to stay in the delivery room when my nephews were born. It was the most wonderful thing I had ever witnessed in my life. It’s not something that I want to miss out on personally, and I feel I have every right to pursue that dream until I know it is completely out of the question. Why should I have to listen to some asshole berate me, and others, for trying to chase their dreams? That comment was completely uncalled for, and anyone who has had to go through this process knows how horrible you already feel about yourself, you don’t need some ignorant fool rubbing it in. Especially one who’s throwing stones in his glass house.

Do you see my point?

We already have to deal with the embarrassment of feeling less than human, of feeling like you’re not whole. We have to deal with the constant questions from friends, family, and coworkers: “when are you having a baby?”. Most of us are ashamed and put on the spot constantly. I had to ask my family to quit pestering me about it because every single time it was asked, me and my husband became more hurt and introverted.

All your friends are enjoying their new babies and telling you how wonderful it is. I SEE how wonderful it is and there’s nothing more that I want than to feel my child kicking inside my stomach or holding a little swollen infant in my arms just minutes old. I am human, and to want that very basic thing is not something to be ashamed of. Expecting people not to insult me along the way, in this very hard journey, is not too much to ask.

I have nothing against people who choose not to have kids, in fact, for a long time I didn’t want any myself. As I’ve gotten older and more responsible, I want that now. I want it more than anything. I refuse to pass judgment on people who don’t want kids, it’s a deeply personal decision, and it’s not my right to do so. What works for me is not what will work for millions of other people.

I’m a live and let live type of person, but I absolutely despise people who feel it is their job to tell others what they need to do with their lives. That is why I went off on VC03. His comment was hurtful and way over the line and he needs to apologize. I know not everyone here sees it this way, but to someone who has to deal with this every day, it’s a very hurtful thing to say to them.

You asked if not having kids would affect my quality of life, that’s a loaded question. After we exhaust all attempts at conceiving one of our own, then we might consider (if we still have money left) our other options. Yes, not having kids FOR ME would leave a void in my life that I would evetually have to fill with something else. And who knows, maybe that’s what is in the plan for me. But I’m not dealing with that right now in my life and I’ll take care of it when it happens. Right now, I’m keeping hope up that I can have a baby of my own one day.

That’s how dreams are, you chase them until you know they can’t come true. I don’t give up that easily and I shouldn’t have to because **VC03 ** tells me I’m selfish for doing so. I’m not hurting anyone chasing this dream, except for maybe VC03’s superiority complex.

34

Nice post, Pink.

My SIL and her husband have tried everything with no positive results yet. Artificial insemination, a false “chemical pregnancy” (oh my god did that ever blow), and are now looking at a second round of IVF.

But here’s the thing- we didn’t know they were having trouble getting pregnant. I was horrified when I found out, because I have two kids of my own and get pregnant the first egg drop off the pill. I love being pregnant and love giving birth. I even had the SIL in the delivery room for my second because she wanted to see what it was like. But when I realized what all of my comments and stories must have been doing to her, I was so damn sorry.

Not sorry for having babies, just sorry for being an insensitive git. Sure, I didn’t know, but I wish I had, so I could have helped lessen some pain.

35

So now you’re handicapped?

Quite!

If you happen to feel bad then that is your own damn fault. You shouldn’t jump people’s asses for silly little throw away comments. Grow a thicker fucking skin and quit feeling sorry for yourself.

Yeah, that was some serious hate speech. He was just full of piss and vinegar.

What does me telling you that you’re being a whiney and overreacting little bitch have to do with people not thinking his comment was as bad you seem to think it was?

Thanks for checking, we do have kids. It would seem as though all our plumbing works great. I do feel bad that others have problems having children. You…not so much.

Have I EVER replied to you before? I don’t know who the…wait, wait…you’re the crazy pet lady, aren’t you? Well, then I’ll stick by my original observation.

[soup nazi]

NO KIDS FOR YOU!

[/sn]

36

Hold on there, I never said that.

Doesn’t surprise me out of you.

What’s funny is you are too damn stupid to see how ironic your ENTIRE ARGUMENT is. You’re upset with me because (in your mind) I “flew off the handle”. So did you asshole.

And you tell ME I shouldn’t have kids because of how I react? You had nothing constructive to add to this thread except come in here because someone told someone else off (rightfully so) that had nothing to do with you. He insulted me and the others here who are going through the same things. You are acting FAR worse than I ever did.

Let me remind you . . .

And you tell me I flew off the handle. :rolleyes:

This is where your brain is failing catching on here. What he said was CRUEL and HEARTLESS. Obviously I wasn’t the only one who took it that way:

You should seriously consider giving them up for adoption. You don’t deserve (according to YOU no less) to have the pleasure of raising kids. And just because your “plumbing” works fine, doesn’t make you a parent, let alone a good one.

I’ve seen you around enough to form my opinion on you, and this thread just confirms what I’ve already suspected.

“Crazy pet lady”? Because I said if someone maliciously hurt or tried to kill one of my pets (on MY property at that) I would do whatever in my means to protect them, even if that meant doing harm to the asshole? Wow, that’s real crazy. :rolleyes:

You’re a dick. And a moron on top of all that. All this time you thought you were putting me in my place, you didn’t realize you were making a case against your own parenting abilities.

Thanks for the great laugh jackass!

:smiley:

37

See, there is your first mistake, poodle lips. I never flew off the handle. I have been calm and in control of myself the whole time. I just decided to be a dick to you since you decided to go all apeshit for no reason. If what VC03 said was enough to throw you over the top, then I may as well enjoy the show.

Hang on a second, you barren whore. He did not insult you. He did not insult anyone. He gave an opinion, and if you decided to be insulted by that, then that’s your own fault.

Indeed

Seriously, can you step down from the fucking cross for a second?

What for? As has already been pointed out, you’re too fucking selfish to want to adopt. So, why should you care what happens to any child that didn’t pop out of you smelly twat?

Deserve or not, I’ve got them and you don’t. Get over it already.

But appearantly it does keep me from being a pittyful little whiner who wants the world to feel sorry for them. Can’t you find anything else to get pissed about? It’s not mine or VC03’s fault that your pussy is on the fritz.

Because your opinions obviously matter just so much to me.

Glad you’ve come accept that. At least we’ve made some progress

I never thought I was putting you in your place. I was hoping for a moment that you might realize what an overreacting trick you were being by showing you in return. Oh well…have fun with your non-existent kids. Heaven forbid that you actually ever get up off of your useless non-child bearing ass and adopt.

No problem, you tuna cunted slut.

38

I can’t find the news link right now, and am terribly busy at work, but I read only today that they’d done a study about the incidences of abortions in India…seems that the percentage of female abortions and “family planning” was atrocious. I’ll see if I can hunt it down.

Nearly everyone in my family in my generation is having daughters. I think there’s two sons among the whole bunch. I like it, them, not so much. :frowning:

39

Greathouse, I really wish you would explain yourself. **VCO3 ** makes a comment. *Several * people describe the comment as insensitive. **PinkMaribou ** yells at VCO3. Then you, who doesn’t seem to have a dog in this fight, taunts **PinkMaribou ** about her fertility problems. What would make you do such a mean-spirited thing? I really don’t understand what motivates you.

I mean, **PinkMaribou ** yells at **VC03 ** for making an insensitive comment, and based on this *single action * of hers, you gloat over her infertility and say that it is a good thing she can’t conceive. And you are accusing her of overreacting?

I doubt if I will get anything but abuse out of you, but I would like to know how wishing childnessness on someone is not a callous thing to do, and not an overreaction to what you take to be **PinkMaribou’s ** behavior in a single post.

40

You won’t get any abuse from me. You seem to be a rather calm and mannered poster.

When PM starts dishing out abuse at such a small, throw away comment, then she opens herself up for it. My motivation was simply to shut her up and stop her pity party. She didn’t ask for clarification on his point. All she did was start in with the name calling, rudeness, and feeling sorry for herself. I know this is the pit so that’s all fair game. It bothered me a bit, so I replied to her in kind. Then the meaner she got, the meaner I got.

It’s really not that big of deal.