I Demand Vengance! (flashlight related)

You utter bastards. Some one will pay for this. There may be some lies that are acceptable in certain circumstances. This is clearly not one of those.

The Y2K craze gave us some good things. One of my favorites is the eternal flashlight. No bulb, just a light emitting diode. No batteries, just a cylindrical magnet, a coil of wire and a lot of shaking. I’ve wanted an eternal flashlight for years. But, I cannot bring myself to pay for one.

So, when I saw an eternal flashlight at a dollar store I was thrilled. Oh, I was suspicious. But, there was the magnet, the coil, the bumpers. I examined the box as best I could. I paid my dollar (plus tax).

On the ride home, I removed the flashlight. The picture on the box was accurate. I shook it and pressed the switch. There was a glorious blue white light. And I saw the light. And it was good.

At home, I wondered where I could safely store the flashlight. I began to wonder how far outside the plastic tube the magnet’s field extended. Initial tests showed that it did not reach outside the tube. The ‘magnet’ also did not react to a very strong known magnet. I disassembled the flaslight and performed the ultimate test. The supposed magnet did not stick to my refrigerator door.

On further inspection, the wire coil in the flashlight was not connected to anything. Two fine leads led only to a piece of tape. I removed a small bit of the wire, wanting to see its properties in hopes that I could turn the flashlight into a true eternal flashlight. The multimeter rated its resistance at infinity. I tested a few other items to be sure my meter was properly calibrated. The wire did not conduct electricity. I performed the final test. I chewed upon the wire. I tasted plastic.

You lying bastards! A light emitting diode, two wafer batteries, and a plastic lens all for a dollar seven is still a bargain. But, you did not promise me the lamp of wisdom. Oh no, you swore to give to me a light that would be an eternal beacon to the glory of science! You swore to give me a copper coil, not some plastic string! I demand an eternal flashlight! I demand vengance! I demand the guilty party be delivered unto me so that I can do terrible things to them with induction coils, electrodes, and make them chew on aluminum foil! Your dog is safe, but I’ll put some serious electrical burns on you.

I just got one of these at Fred Meyer for ten bucks. It works flawlessly. Holds the hand-cranked charge for about half an hour.

I’m curious though how it worked in the car - sounds like it shouldn’t have worked at all.

It’s in my OP- wafer batteries. I did notice these. But, the box mentioned rechargable batteries.

The lie is worse than I thought. This thing isn’t just passed off as a generic eternal light. It’s a knock of this . At more than a foot or so, you couldn’t tell them apart.

I have a couple of those. The $10.00 price is the going price, in spite of the ad. The magnet’s pretty strong; not strong enough to hold it up against the side of a refigerator, but it does grab onto it with a noticeable thump. You’d need to find some place electronics- and credit-card-free to store it, which makes modern car storage a bit problematic, unless you know exactly where all the circuitry in your car is. Given that you’re willing to take things apart and test them with a multimeter, that probably wouldn’t be a problem.

Except, of course, for the fact that you’ve been had. :slight_smile:

Consider yourself lucky. Those “Shake to Charge” flashlights are crap. You have to have an arm of iron to get it charged up for more than a few minutes. Get the one Dooku referenced…they actually work.

All that education for only a buck. :smiley:

If it’s any consolation, the person behind the ruse is likely on display in a BodyWorks exhibit.

Nice touch. This made me giggle.

This didn’t grab at all. It also did not interact with my Sizzlers (toy ovoid magnets with extremely strong fields) at all.

I run into that problem with the degausser dad gave me.

I expected it not to be waterproof. I expected a plastic casing that would crack if it fell on the kitchen floor. But, I expected it to be the product advertised.

::Shakes head vigorously…light dawns:: :slight_smile:

You should report the product to your states consumer protection agency. They can see that all the mislabeled product is removed from stores in your state. You can help keep others from being taken.

I remember the first time I read about those type of flashlights. Mystery on Nine Mile Marsh. The boy had one with him in a mine. He saved all the kids trapped in the mine. I knew I had to find one of those flashlights.

Yeah, the Pseudo-shakelights are a problem, definite false advertising, and abyssmal performance to boot…

any kinetic powered light (shakelights or cranklights) will NEVER be as bright as they are in the TV ads, there’s just not enough energy storage in the capacitor, ever notice how they only show the actual “bright” beam of light for a few seconds at most then cut away?..

kinetic/dynamo lights generally start off passably bright for a minute or so, then rapidly fall off and dim, they realy should only be used as an absolute emergency, last-resort fallback light, or to help you find your way back to your better lights…

if you want a decent pocketable flashlight, get a basic AA powered light and buy two sets of rechargable batteries, keep one set in the light, one in the charger

for a nice, pocketable, reliable, BRIGHT flashlight, do a Google search for the Fenix line of lights, the Fenix L1 or L2 are pocket size 1 watt Luxeon LED flashlights that use common AA batteries, the L1 uses 1 AA, the L2 uses 2

need a little more power (at the expense of runtime) and willing to purchase CR123a batteries?, look at the SureFire G2 Nitrolon, 65 lumens of blinding light (a shakelight is around 1/2 to 2 lumens) and a one hour runtime, or go to your local wally-world and pick up a Brinkmann Maxfire LX, similar light output as the G2, but a lot cheaper (in all ways)…

one cool thing about the Brinkmann Maxfire is that you can take out the stock Brinkmann bulb and reflector assembly (unscrew the black spacer in the flashlight head and drop out the reflector assembly) and drop in a SureFire P60 (65 lumen, 1 hr runtime) or P61 (120 lumen, 20 minute runtime) lamp assembly to get a SureFire-quality beam out of the Brinkmann…