So, I know this person from the gym. We talk for a short bit every day. Her lawnmower is broken, and can’t get it to the shop in her car. She isn’t fussy about keeping the lawn too maintained. Said her crummy lawn hasn’t been cut in about a month.
I only know her by first name, but have heard her say her last name a time or two. Easy to figure out where she lives going roughly by where she has said she lives, and looking on the town tax database.
So, I went over today and cut the lawn. Took me 15 minutes. She didn’t have a clue that I was going to do this.
Would you be appreciative that it was done, or wierded out that I had to look up the address???
I did it to be nice.
I say pretty creepy. The idea that someone would look up my address, come to my house and mess around with my property in my yard when I’m not there and didn’t approve it, is really not ok. You should have just asked first.
Nice thought, very inappropriate and creepy execution. If she was dropping hints of these problems with a hope you’d offer to help - you should have just offered to help.
Trespassing and stalking. Plus she will probably assume that you want to bone her so she may be uncomfortable around you now. You meant well but you shouldn’t have done it.
If you were neighbors, and so knowing where she lives was an inherent part of your relationship, then it might be a nice gesture.
But using her overheard last name to look her up in databases to find where she lives is already creepy. And then physically going there and doing things to her property without asking (yes, even nice things like mowing her lawn) takes that creepiness to the next level.
And I hesitate to even ask, but… just front lawn, or front and back both?
She’s going to just think one of her neighbours got tired of looking at it, and dealt with it.
What sort of appreciation are you expecting, exactly? Because she now probably thinks she can just forget about it and the neighbour will eventually deal will it, zero appreciation required.
Expecting appreciation, in any form including a ‘thank you’, turns this from a kindness to an attempt to create an obligation. To stroke your ego with gratitude.
Looking up her address is straight up crossing a line, and when she learns that part she’ll remain always on guard around you, and rightly so.
And if you’re trying to date this woman or win her affection, you’re definitely doing it wrong.
Sounds to me like your heart was in the right place. Don’t feel too bad, but live and learn and don’t do it again.
I don’t think you did anything actually illegal—maybe trespassing, but mowing somebody else’s lawn is the kind of thing neighbors occasionally do for each other without anyone getting upset, so as long as she didn’t catch you in the act and tell you to get lost, I wouldn’t worry about it too much.
