About 18 months ago I was out walking my dogs when a woman who lives in the same neighborhood asked me if I pick up after my dogs. I was pleasant and assured her that I do. She said “Well I guess I’ll take your word for it,” but with tone and body language that said she didn’t believe me.
Figuring it’s best not to engage crazy people I changed my route and quit walking my dogs past her house.
Last summer I was out walking my dogs when she drove past me then stopped and again asked me if I pick up after my dogs. This time I was matter of fact. Yes, I pick up after my dogs. She said someone’s dog is pooping in her yard. I replied “It’s not my dogs. Find someone else to blame.” To which she replied “I don’t want to blame anyone, I just want people to tell the truth.”
OK, at this point she’s called me a liar twice and I’m annoyed.
This morning I was out walking my dogs when she drove past then stopped and waited for me to walk up. It got on my last nerve.
She said “How do you pick up after your dogs when you don’t have any bags?” I said “Fuck off you fucking nut job!” I pulled a bag out of my pocket, waved it in the air and said “It’s called a pocket. You should get some you fucking nut job!”
I had kept walking so she squealed her tires to catch up with me and said “Oh you’re a big man, I’m going to have my husband come down and punch your face in!” I said Oh, I’m afraid. She says “You should be, look at you, you faggot!” I laughed (I mean, really. Faggot?) She laid on her horn for 10 or 15 seconds. I smiled and waved as she drove off.
So, here’s your opportunity to tell me how much of a dumb-ass I am.