While she’s definitely being a jerk, next time (kindly) suggest to her that if she’s having a problem with poop in her hard, she should install a video camera to collect evidence so she can blame the right person.
I know not for what reason World War IV will be fought, but World War III will be fought over dog shit.
Oh, I know I behaved badly but the emotions got the best of me. In the future I will act as I had in the past: Don’t walk by her house; don’t engage her. If she accosts me again I will smile and wave or perhaps blow kisses. It would probably be more annoying to her.
Even better would have been if he claimed to be a magician.
Perhaps a peace offering is in order. A framed picture of your dog.
If it weren’t for the husband beating your faggoty face in part I’d suggest that you use her yard exclusively for a while…picking up afterwards of course.
Just wave your bag at her…she knows what it means.
I’m with andros, why would you or those neighbors actually WANT a dog to shit in your/their yards. Sounds disgusting to me.
Seconded, a framed picture of one’s dong is always an acceptable and tasteful gift.
DOG, not dong.
Sounds like the dog’s already been framed.
Coincidentally, faggots do resemble dog shit. I couldn’t claim expertise in taste comparison.
I think you have a choice when your dog takes a dump on your neighbor’s yard. You can:
- Pick up the shit and dispose of it.
- Pick up the dog and dispose of it.
- Pick up the neighbor and dispose of it.
In this case, I suggest #3.
No one WANTS a dog to shit in their yard. But my dog needs to walk several blocks before she drops a deuce - if a homeowner a couple blocks away has a similar dog, and we come to a similar arrangement, then we each need to go through fewer poop bags. It’s a lot easier to pick up poop in your yard once a week than every. single. time. it happens.
3 steps to happiness
Step 1) Find picture of neighbor
Step 2) Photoshop face of neighbor onto picture of dog pooping
Step 3) Mass mailing to the neighbors asking “Have you seen this poop bandit?”
Yep. For a while I had three dogs, each of whom shit twice a day. If I have to scoop up 42 piles a week, what’s it matter to me if there are 3 or 4 more?
Threads like this make me glad I spent the time training our dogs to shit in the woods. 
Wow, you have pet bears?
Never stick your hand in the crazy.
By escalating things with this person, you just jumped feet-first into the crazy.
This will not end well.
I don’t think you behaved badly, if she confronted you three times, she was a fucking nutjob.
I wouldn’t blame the husband for his crazy wife. Give him the benefit of the doubt, you’ve had three run ins with his wife and called her a fucking “crazy nutjob” on one of those occasions, he has to deal with a fucking crazy wife every day and probably calls her a crazy nutjob once a month.
I also have a pet peeve (ooh I’m so clever) about dogs shitting on my lawn. I thought I knew who was doing it but she kept denying it and then she moved away and noone ever shit on my lawn again. If the problem ever starts again, I am going to get one of those motion sensor camera/watersprinkler combinations.