Yeah, so here I am helping my ex move out of her house and I notice my boomerang haning over the kitchen sink (Well, where do you keep yours then?). I make my move and she’s all like, “Oh, you’re taking the boomerang.” Ever the quick wit I shoot back a scathing, “Well, duh!” and lovingly take it off it’s hook. “There, you should take that hook out the wall and spackle it. I would but, you know, not my house.” and out the door I goes with my prize boomerang.
It’s Aboriginal Made, you know. In Tazmania. Where they have neither rhinoceroses nor weasels, but still, one could muse for some time over Tazmania. And Aboriginal for that matter. But probably not in this thread. For long. Anyway. This is a very special boomerang because I can throw it so that it doesn’t curve, nay, but sets itself upon a stable vector until the atmosphere leeches it of momentum and delivers it gently to the earth…sometimes as much as 100 yards away! My friend Brian tells me that such a boomerang is commonly called a “stick.” Dope. What’s he know about it? Aboriginies don’t make sticks, they make boomerangs! He can be such a hick. I once attemted to demonstrate my non-returning boomerang only to have it curve for the first and last time in its existence as a boomerang and strike the windshield of a large SUV wielded by an even larger knuckle-dragging hominid with an apparently irrational hatred of things Aboriginal…are the Abbos in Tazmania significantly different from those on the mainisland? Such that they evolved the necessary technology of bee-line boomerangs?
Bee-line! Oh, the yellowjacket! Sure. Well, there I was, there I was, there I was: In The Congo! No…I was in Lakewood CO, far, far away from The Congo. Carrying my bangless boomerang to my 1983 Toyota Corolla Coupe (that’s right ladies, the sporty 2-door model–hey now, don’t crowd! There’s plenty of Inigo to go around!) Ok, then there’s this hornet, a yellowjacket in the vernacular. And it decided to buzz me. So I swatted at it with my boomerang and knocked it out of the air. Knocked its head off. Killt it dead with my boomerang. Today.