I was referring to Lord Ashtar’s snarky-ass comment, which was directed at me.
Right on.
This is actually a really good idea. Sometimes people think that they need to start off with a bang, major dietary changes and heavy workouts. Probably because they feel the need to see big results right away thinking that will motivate them to keep going, but it almost never does. Usually what happens instead is that no matter how much you actually lose in the first few months it’s never enough to feel like all the sacrifices were worth it and you start thinking geez, I can’t do this forever! So you give up and have a cupcake and chalk it up as a failure.
If we’re talking about a true lifestyle change starting slowly actually makes a lot more sense because it allows you to figure out what really works for the long term. Instead of a killer workout just take a nice walk every day. If you’re sedentary now you’ll be moving more, and if you’re hating strenuous workouts it will help you enjoy moving around instead of hating it. Eventually you might find that taking a walk makes you feel better than watching tv and you’ll do it more often.
Instead of giving up every single food you love just add some healthy ones instead. Find a salad you love and eat it every day, drink water more often, do your best to add 3 veggies and 3 fruits to your daily food intake. Over time you might find that your body feels better after eating healthy food than it does after eating the cupcake and you’ll naturally start eating more of that and fewer cupcakes.
In the long run the goal is to know that you have the ability to make a confident, self loving choice between tv and a walk or between a salad and a cupcake. Sometimes you’ll choose tv and a cupcake but that will be ok because yesterday and tomorrow you’re having a salad and taking a walk and it all works out to better health in the end.
Take it slow, add instead of subtract, plan your weight loss in one or five year increments. Include healthy habits as part of your definition of self care. Whether or not you actually lose weight in the short run,you’ll definitely be healthier in the long run.
Not impossible, just difficult, even if the answer can be summed up in a 5 syllable phrase. That little phrase is an oversimplification of what it takes to fix the problem.
Diet and Exercise is really -
“Change everything about your current lifestyle. Change what you eat. Change what you drink. Stop eating things that comfort you. Change what you do with your free time. Commit to a regimen of exercise. Eliminate your current recreational choices and replace them with more active ones. Make these changes and continue doing them every single day for the remainder of your life.”
Then, when someone fails it’s “What a loser. They should just diet and exercise, it’s so simple.”
“Diet and exercise” sucks as weight loss advice. “Get a higher paying job” sucks as financial advice. “Get a girlfriend” sucks as dating advice. These things are not the process, they are the penultimate step in the process.
The overweight person doesn’t need to diet and exercise, they need to make a lifelong commitment to managing their weight, it’s no small thing.
I don’t want olives4march and ppth to be the only ones in here defending themselves. I’m not even sure why we feel the need. Yeah, we’re fat. So the fuck what?
My cholesterol, blood pressure, heart rate and general healthiness is VERY GOOD. My cholesterol is actually lower than my other half’s, who is much skinnier than me. Why? Because I eat healthier.
I do not stuff my face with cookies or what-have-you like everyone seems to believe about fat people. In february I undertook to replace one meal - lunch - completely with salad. I haven’t wavered from this and eat salads every single day at lunch. I think I’ve not done it maybe five times.
I also eat a very light breakfast (glass of 2% milk + oatmeal), and my afternoon snack tends to be a cup of decaf…and I eat lots of fruit and veggies. My only big meal is dinner, and yes, I do have a late night dessert or something. I’m accepting of this.
I also exercise at least four times a week - during the summer I’ve been swimming. In the winter I dance. i also bike and take the stairs everywhere I go.
And yet I’m still fat. Why? Because i got fat when i was younger and had bad habits. And it is a LIFESTYLE CHANGE not just a magical potion “eat less and excersize”. And as the study says, 97% of people will fail. It is very hard to make such an extreme change. Not impossible…but I don’t know, life is pretty goddamn good, and it is hard to look at life and say “Self, make yourself miserable for the rest of your life, because things will never be easy again, and you will always have to be counting calories and always feel hungry and always be unhappy. FOREVER.”
Yes, I do not have that much willpower. I do intend to, and have been making, slow lifestyle changes, such as the salads, and the breakfasts, and the exercise. I don’t really care that much anymore if I am fat or not. Am I healthy? That is my key? Does my doctor look at my blood pressure and cluck worriedly? No? Then I will keep on doing what I am doing.
It is also quite wonderful and dandy to say “Well you never should have gotten fat in the first place”. Um, thanks. I’ll just pop back in time and let my younger self know not to be such an idiot.
I’m not here for a debate. I just think that as much as you all think that we are all just a bunch of lazy asshole slobs we think you’re all so reliant on your magic pill of “eat less and exercise” without any realization that some of us, already do, and the magic pill isn’t so magic. Not impossible. Just very very difficult.
I don’t intend to debate this. It’s after all, my life, and I’m not complaining. I just felt like saying my piece.
Just throw the off-the-rack shirts into the fucking trash and get made to measure shirts. No pocket, no monogram, hand-stitched buttonholes. You won’t regret it.
This is an excellent point. When I decided to quit smoking cigarettes, I phrased it to myself as “I’m not quitting smoking, I’m just not smoking now.” That way, if I’m out at a bar and have had a few beers and that cute girl sitting next to me wants me to join her for a smoke, I can bum one and not feel terrible about it. The alternative (for me anyway) is to say I’m never ever ever smoking again, then get super depressed when I do have one, which leads me to buy another pack and before you know it, I’m smoking again.
Food is the same way for me. If I’m hanging with some friends and someone wants to order a few pizzas, I can have a few slices and not feel terrible about it because I know that I’ve been really good on my diet the last few days and I will be again over the next few. Obviously I don’t devour an entire Meat Lovers by myself, maybe I just eat two slices of ham and pineapple instead. It really is all about moderation.
Plus, it’s just water weight.
[quote=“olivesmarch4th, post:97, topic:628779”]
Not for me, honey. Long-term exercise does absolutely zero for my severe depression. I know because I’ve done it. I get a boost for maybe an hour afterward, if I’m lucky.
Um, I said benefits of weight-loss, honey; not exercise. Convenient conflation, though. 
Ha! Spit my coffee out with that one! 
For that and so much more…
How do you start with this? Cold turkey? And on a practical level, what specifically is meant by “severely restrict”? How did you do it?
I replaced my Mountain Dew with water where I add some 5 calorie drink mix to make it taste like an Arnold Palmer. That’s my main vice, so that’s what I focused on.
A bit of advice here. I am not overweight, but I have a massive sweet tooth. Like I want dessert after nearly every meal. What works for me is to eat a square or two of dark chocolate (at least 60% or so). You might think “oh I’ll eat the whole thing.” Well maybe you will, but most people don’t overeat when it comes to real dark chocolate. It actually has health benefits, and it kills the desire for sugary crap.
Try it.
Christ, this thread moved fast.
I’m a thin person who, by rights, really should be fat. I’m 34 and my metabolism shows no signs of slowing down, though I am terrified that before I know it, it will.
I am a highly disciplined and temperate person ordinarily. I just fucking love food. I eat emotionally, I eat automatically, and half the time, I don’t know when I am full. I can barely concentrate on my work because I know I have half a can of sriracha-flavored snack peas in the other room and I’m a Pavlovian dog. I am trying to get it under control now before my weight becomes a problem, but I am experiencing at most modest success. I love exercise and used to train extremely hard, but that makes me irremediably hungry. I am a very bad person when I am hungry.
I have nothing but sympathy for people who struggle with their weight, because by rights, I should be struggling as well. Perhaps in the future I will, and I do not look forward to that day.
Huh. So, let’s say you’re watching tv and you see someone eat a big ol’ cupcake and you think “Hm I want cupcake and I know I have a couple in the fridge, but first things first I gotta eat my dark chocolate.” And then you do, and you don’t want the cupcake anymore?
Fascinating
Actually, that’s exactly how it works for me. Many times at night around 9 or so I start seriously craving ice cream or candy. Instead I’ll eat a square of dark chocolate and the urge for the ice cream is gone.
I keep a bar in my desk at work for when someone brings in cake or cookies or something.
Also, it helps to not have those cupcakes in the fridge in the first place…
Wow that is great to know! will definitely give this a try.
Well, if The Cupcake Fairies (or The Brownie Brownies) don’t stock your refrigerator with luscious goodies–& you’re not silly enough to do it yourself–there’ll be nothing there to tempt you.
I hope it works! Be sure to get real dark chocolate though. Not milk chocolate, or white chocolate. Something with 70% cocoa. It needs to be bitter.
This works for me as well. When I get famished before bed, I find that a little plain yogurt does the trick, too.
This is also, of course, a very good point.
Well, I have been losing the same 40 pounds for ten years. I actually have a graph of my weight from right when I started to lose to now.
Honestly, I am really good at losing weight. I know what to eat, how to exercise, what to do if I hit a plateau. I know my nutrition and I know what works for me in terms of not being too hungry and overtraining.
So, you say, why are you still fat? Because despite knowing all the things above, I have taught myself that when life gets tough, eat something to make you feel better.
I can totally understand why someone in my position would give up. I have failed over and over to keep the weight off.
In fact, I did give up. I was having a stomach problem that left me hungry all the time and I was suffering from severe anxiety and depression. I decided that if eating made me feel better, even for a moment that it was completely worth it. So, I ate and I ate and I ate.
Finally, I got some help for my stomach issues and went to see a counsellor for my mental issues. And here I am losing weight again. Yeah, I am losing weight because I want to look better but what has amazed me this time (versus all the other times I have tried this) is how much better I feel! I am no longer on the treatment for my stomach ailment and my depression seems to be completely gone. I am eating healthier than I ever had in my life (ironically, I am just eating what I have been feeding my kids all along, no wonder they have so much energy).
The only bad side is that I feel really dumb for not getting healthier sooner. If only I had truly understoond the mind/body connection.
Am I going to succeed this time? Maybe not. But I am going to try. And if I gain back the weight, I will try again. If I can keep this feeling good thing going, it’s completely worth it.
The reality is that losing weight is something that thin people really can’t understand. Their lives are built in such a way that it keeps them healthy. It’s comfortable for them. It’s damn weird for those of us who have built a life that is unhealthy.
So, what I would recommend is to lose the ‘you are fat because you are a lazy slob’ thing and try to help us fatties by bringing us into your world a little. Invite us to go biking/rock climbing/whatever with you. Share some of your yummy lunch and provide the recipe. We really could use the help. (Well, I could, anyway.)