I agree with not subsidizing the boozers or the meat eaters or the porkers or the whoevers. And I think many of the suggestions here are good. But one critical point. If you insist on paying just your share you need to know exactly what you ordered, exactly what it costs, don’t forget the sales tax, and then calculate the tip (and don’t forget that often groups bigger than X have a mandatory Y percent tip, seperate checks or not).
14.95 is 15 dollars not about 14. Remember that extra butter and sour cream was a $1.25. Ice tea refills costs an extra fifty cents over the $1.50 you paid and you had one. The sales tax on this is nearly 2 dollars. And so on.
Or, in other words its pretty easy to not pay your fair share EVEN IF yours is way less than the others average bill if you don’t calculate carefully.
Well, I don’t mind so much buying her a drink or a meal, but her freeloader friends–“Hey, let’s order the fucking menu, and split the tab evenly?”–not so much. It’s just not worth it for 20 or 30 bucks to create even a bit of a scene discussing the concept of “I didn’t drink nothing but water nor order anything but salad” to people who can’t grasp that without my help, but I’m going to have to discuss in private with her why I don’t feel like grabbing a bite with her good buddies. If that turns into a scene, well, I guess I need that, sooner or later, but a big public discussion with drunks I hardly know explaining elementary good manners to them? I’ll pass on that, I guess.
Just let people know that you’ll be paying for your own meal. Personally, I’d feel horrible if someone at my table ordered an inexpensive meal and was going to pony up the same amount of cash as everyone else.
You do it up front and with the waiter, not with the freeloading doofuses. When the waiter comes by for the first order you say “She and I will be on one tab.” At the end of the night you are presented with a tab and the doofuses are presented with either their own tabs or one big tab for the rest of them to split. No manners to explain and no conflict.
And on a positive note, I went out for a work happy hour and put the whole deal on my card. I didn’t do the math figuring if I was short it was not a big deal. But one of my coworkers decided I must be short and gave me money a few days later…
In my machinist days, the folks at the small facility I worked at would go out for great long lunches to celebrate birthdays. There were only two of us in the machine shop, and the rest of the folks were scientists, technicians, and administrative types.
Everyone would party it up, creating quite a liquor bill, and while alcohol never really was for me anyway, there was little choice: The two of us dared not touch a drop, as we were the only ones who could not risk doing our jobs under the influence.
Then the bill would come and they always split it evenly
Not only were we unable to participate if we could, but we were the youngest folks there, a couple of broke kids in a room full of folks well on in their careers.
I eventually decided that as long as they played the game that way, I would order whatever I darned well pleased. No hamburger for me, I’ll have the fillet.
Are you getting laid? If so, then shut your mouth and pay your share. (I’m only somewhat jesting here.)
That said, I do understand your ire. I’m more used to the “pay what you think you owe” method of splitting up bills, rather than the split-evenly method. Usually, when the even split comes up, it is agreed to by all partied involved. If you agree to it, you pay the split. If you think you’d significantly overpay with this method, you just speak up. I’ve had it happen that the even-split has come up and someone at the table disagreed to it. From my perspective, nobody found offense to it and looked at that person as a cheapskate sunovabitch. They just didn’t realize that one person had a LOT less to eat and drink than everyone else, so they took that person’s share, subtracted it from the bill, and split the rest evenly among themselves. I did not notice any hard feelings.
It’s all a matter of degree. For 5 bucks, I’d be an asshole to start pointing out who had what, and for 100 bucks, I’d feel fine saying, “I’ll chip in a few bucks for my salad here, but no way I’m paying 100 bucks for a salad.” You can substitute your own figures, but everyone agrees that there are figures that you squawk about and figures that you don’t. Personally, I don’t feel comfortable bitching if some people have two drinks with dinner and some people have one, but when the ratio is three to zero, at NYC prices for a drink, things are getting out of hand. This one wasn’t in my comfort zone, and wasn’t way over the line either. YMMV.
This is probably the wiser way for me to go, BTW. Treat myself to a dozen blue point oysters, and keep ordering another half-dozen the longer the drinking part of the evening extended itself. I probably would have had a better time (and spent a lot more money) ordering more oysters and just calling it a good night out.
Splitting checks is an idea, but all too often restaurants don’t want to do it, or the rest of the group says “it’ll be fine”
[/QUOTE]
Just out of curiosity, what restaurant have you ever gone to that refused to split a check up? Because I have never, ever heard of any place that wouldn’t do it. Or do you mean you didn’t want to ask them to do it?
This is excellent advice. Basically, it comes down to “get over it and grow a pair.” Ask for and get what you need. No problems, no resentment, and everyone stays friends. I often go through this because I go out with friends twice a week or so. Some of us order more than others, some order from the a la carte menu or get substitutions, and some order meals off the menu. Separate checks spares everyone the hassle of figuring who owes what for all of that. (In all fairness, both groups are regulars at our respective restaurants, so the server has no problem doing this for us.)
That being said, some restaurants tack on a gratuity to the checks of large parties. Some have computer systems that won’t allow that gratuity on checks with fewer than the minimum number of people to add the gratuity, and some can’t get away with it for PR reasons because of their clienteles. Consequently, they’re reluctant to split checks, or they won’t as a matter of policy; you get one check and how you divide it is your business.
