When you eat/drink out with people do you sometimes buy or ‘Dutch pay’ only? Do you calculate and keep track of who bought, how much was the bill and how many times?
We have this friend who calls everyone back days later to demand money back that somehow he bought way more than everyone else or some such whine. He’s often pissy when we go out because of this behavior and everyone is tired of it but we all put up with it… guess we see him cute… but nevertheless gets irritating.
When I buy, ‘I bought’, and that is that. I don’t think about how much or that someone didn’t take their turn or that I ended up buying more expensive dinner etc… unless it is obvious someone habitually and blatantly takes advantage of everyone. It’s just not the spirit of buying. We all tell him not to buy if it bothers him that much but he insist on being this cool generous guy who buys only to get upset later.
Share your group restaurant/bar bill pay practices and stories.
If one person orders a side salad and someone else orders Lobster Thermidor a Crevette with a mornay sauce served in a Provencale manner with shallots and aubergines garnished with truffle pate, brandy and with a fried egg on top and spam, then it might be an issue, but 99 times out of 100 we just divide the bill equally by the number of persons and then pay accordingly.
If someone else at the table wants to count things out to the penny, then I’ll go along and pay “my share”, but really it all evens out when you die, so I’m not going to spend my time worrying about it.
Usually I reach for the check. If I’ve paid recently and someone else wants to pay, I’ll give the check to them without argument. Figuring out who owes what? I’d just as soon eat at home and avoid the math.
Depends on the time and with whom, usually the second only if the difference is by more than a few dollars. Even split is more common if with SO instead of friends. But re: the second option, most bills these days are itemized, memorization isn’t usually necessary.
Dave Barry, on the differences between men and women (paraphrased):
"Let’s say four women meet for lunch at a restaurant. When the check arrives, out comes at least one calculator.
Now let’s say four guys meet for lunch at a restaurant. When the check arrives, each guy will throw in a $20 and none of them will admit they want change."
Depends on the situation but I’m a big fan of everyone chipping in an equal amount. Since I don’t drink that usually counts against me but it’s easier and I like easy.
For the groups that want to do detailed billing - they usually hand the bill to me to figure out. I like to make them pay for this service and thus servers love me
I’ve never thought about it but now that I do think about it, I’ve never been in a situation where everyone just throws an equal amount into the pot.
We either all get separate checks or split the bill according to who ate/drank what. Occasionally one of us pays for all, both in friendly and date situations.
I wonder if this division is driven by me, since this is always how it goes with me, and when my friends are out with other people they split evenly or whatever.
As for keeping tabs about who paid last or who owes what? Fuck that. My friends are cool.
I think you’re going to have a lot of Other votes because for most people it probably depends on a lot of different factors, like who you’re with and whether it’s dinner or drinks.
If you have a regular dinner date with a group of friends and everyone takes turns buying that’s one thing. But if I’m out with a group of friends and we rarely eat out together, I’m more inclined to have everyone pay their own since who knows when the next time we eat together will be and if anyone will even remember who bought last time, or maybe one friend can’t make it, etc. Unless it’s a special occasion and one guy wants to treat (with no expecation of return) or it’s easy to reciprocate (e.g. dining several nights in a row on vacation with the same group) everyone should just pay their own or split it evenly assuming similar orders. It gets too messy otherwise or becomes a dick-measuring contest.
As for drinks, we’re typically having more than one round during the night (as opposed to one “round” of dinner) so if you buy a round it’s easier for others in your group to reciprocate. Plus the stakes are less for a round of drinks than for paying for dinner for a group of people. I’ll gladly take a turn buying a round when out on the town and I’m sure not going to keep track.
When out with friends, unless otherwise specifically stated, it’s understood that everyone (individuals or couples/families) should keep track of what they owe and chip in accordingly. I don’t see what’s so hard about that.
The “even split” is my least favourite. I prefer separate checks with co-workers and acquaintances, but I’ll occasionally treat my close friends to dinner.
I pretty much always buy with my Wife. And we keep our finances separated. But we divvy up pretty much all household expenses. Eating out is just one of the expenses I cover I guess. :shrug:
With friends, it’s pretty much dutch. Or “You paid for gas so lunch is on me” evens out in the end sort of thing. Or I’ll buy if it’s a birthday lunch or something of course.
The OP’s friend that counts pennies would drive me nuts. Wouldn’t be a friend for long I’m afraid.
For a friend that may be out of work or otherwise down, I’ll always try to buy and not worry about it.
Yeah that’s how it is with my best friends and family but the second tier friends on down we buy taking loose turns or everyone throw in certain amounts generously guesstimating yours + tip (hence typically fairly large tip)… there are whiny ones at times.
In certain cultures it is expected that everyone fight over the check otherwise you are looked upon as financially in extremely bad situation or a weird person/ass.
Other. I am severely dyscalculaic and just hand the bill to someone else and ask them to tell me what I owe. All my friends know this about me so when dining out, I’m fondly regarded as the village idiot.
It depends though…I’m not one to get anal about who is paying what; if I am out with a friend who’s broke, I’ll pay as long as I can afford it, no big deal. Last night I went out for a steak dinner with a friend who’d just had a massive vet bill, so I paid for her 20 oz ribeye with all the trimmings. But she’d do the same for me if the tables were reversed (and has, actually.)
I have an eclectic group of girlfriends and it’s tradition to do a girls night out on birthdays. We range from quite well-off - a surgeon’s wife who puts away several very pricey cocktails with dinner - to those of more modest means who maybe has one glass of house wine, like me. We all get separate checks, it’s easier since there’s usually 10-15 people.
In fact, I think its been that way for every group meal I have ever been on. Well, except for family meals. Then we fight for the cheque.
We don’t break it down to the penny or anything. That’s just silly. The bill gets passed around the table and we all do an estimate and throw down what we owe. In my experience the server gets a much better tip this way since we all tend to round up. For example if my meal was $13 and my drink was $3 I would throw down a $20.
Amongst friends, I don’t care, however everyone wants to do it. Normally though we only pay for what we got + tip.
I do my very best not to eat out with coworkers or casual acquaintances unless someone is paying, because I always end up financing other people’s expensive alcoholic drinks and I resent this because I don’t drink at work functions.
Why not simply ask for a separate check when you first order? That right there relieves you of any responsibility for paying for someone else’s cocktail bill.
We all normally just estimate our shares and throw a tip on top of that, if we haven’t gotten separate checks entirely. However, if I’m out with just my girlfriend, one of us will typically pick up the whole check, and we keep a loose running tally in our heads to try to keep things close to even.
Usually if I buy someone a meal, it’s no strings attached. With friends, we usually go Dutch, but if we can’t get a separate bill or it’s more convenient to pay for the food all at the same time, whoever buys just says, “Your turn next time.”
We don’t keep track, though, so as far as I’m aware I might be paying twice in a row or someone else might be paying for me twice in a row. I hang out with my friends frequently enough that it evens out.
That’s incredibly rude of your friend to call people after the fact and demand that they pay more. I don’t think I’d be able to go out with him if that were common.
But she’d do the same for me if the tables were reversed (and has, actually.)