A short rant as I’m very tired, but I’m reaching across the aisle to be bipartisan and a win-win maverick of change, because I’m pitting McCain, Obama, Biden, and Palin all four for this-
I DON’T GIVE A GOOD FLYING AIRBORNE $4 THURSDAY NIGHT FUCK OF AN UGLY POCKMARKED JACK-THE-RIPPER-VICTIM REJECT WHAT
think about foreign policy, trade, the Wall Street crisis, or pretty much any other goddamned thing other than the goings on at Fontana’s Bait and Tackle Shop and Day Spa. This plain folks bullshit is beneath- well, three out of four of the candidates anyway- and it’s just disgusting.
I’m sure the folks at the bait shop are nice and their problems are real and their opinions are earnest, but even so I don’t want to hear them and I don’t give a shit what they think on major policy issues. I feel sorry for their sufferings but I don’t want to hear about them in a debate- it doesn’t personalize them, it just prolongs and detracts.
When it comes to Wall Street/bailout/WaMu/LB/etc. crises, I care a shitload more what economists, investigative journalists, business analysts, and even those directly involved say than I do what somebody I’ve never met but has a nice folksy Middle Amer’ca name (notice they never say “Akeem Muhammad at Lynette’s Halal Hamburgers” or “LaShaniqua Washington and her sister Rahshay over at Naomi’s Weaves” or “Lucy Douglas-Webster and Mona Webster-Douglas at Mo & Lu’s Harley Repair” or “ex-con Burt Wu and his recovering oxycontin addict wife Marisol at the Piggy Wiggly in Oshkosh” but WASPy soundy earth-salters). I’m guessing Gary and the gang at the Bigger Bang Bowling Alley the candidate visited last month started using the word “subprime” about the same time I did and while I’m sure their nice guys and glad to be mentioned on TV I have absolutely no reason to care what their opinion is on a complicated issue or even on what’s affecting them. SOMETHING’S AFFECTING EVERYBODY AT ALL TIMES. Two thousand years ago Jesus himself said we’d always have po’ folk and letting me know one is named Maudie and works nights at Wanda’s Nugget Hut and her son had to quit his dream of an El Camino customizing business because of health insurance really isn’t a huge incentive. I know plenty of people with really sad and legitimate sob stories already, and I really don’t think that people who weren’t aware there are people concerned and suffering in the nation are going to freeze the Tivo and say “Oh my Gad… poor Agnes Woolcott of Madison Ohio can’t afford to have her wisdom teeth pulled! We’ve gotta do something! First I’m gonna pledge to vote for [that candidate] and then we’re loading up the Honda and pointing it towards Madison Ohio!”
Anyway, I’m very tired so I can’t imagine this has much coherence, but the point is I hate that plain folks pandering shit and don’t even think it’s effective. No, I’m sure Roseanne and Dan Conner or Florida and James Evans or Laverne Defazio or whoever have legitmate concerns and opinions, but chances are excellent they’re no better informed than I am and they’re certainly not in a position to change it and you are, so I’d really much rather hear YOUR opinions on Mr./Ms. Candidate and how big a problem YOU think this is and how much YOU will prioritize it and preferably with some facts and figures that I can check. And I’d also like a Sprite and maybe a puppy to hold while you tell me.