In order to join the SDMB, you must complete the initiation ritual. The steps to the ritual are as follows:
Meet OG. Og is the resident board diety. He loves to smash. He loves to crunch. Your first step is to go ten rounds with Og.
Meet the Invisible Pink Unicorn. The IPU was the resident board deity and still is for those who don’t believe in Og. Step #2 in your initiation ritual is to ride on the IPU. (Of course, you have to find her first)…
Meet our entrance exam. Your third step is to answer the following questions. You’ll be expected to identify the questions just by my brief description and, once answered, must never bring them up on the boards again. The questions are:
a) the -gry question
b) the driveway/parkway question
c) the missing dollar question
d) the 200 pound bridge/198 person/3 one-pound coconut question
The fourth step in your initiation is to swear fealty to our leader, Cecil Adams, and his prophet Ed Zotti. You must also offer up words of praise to our holy Administrators and Moderators.
Welcome, poser, desdenova. I was once a newbie, and some may argue that I still am. We are a rather diverse community, with members from all over the world. I see, poser, that you come from your pants. I come from somewhere in Florida. Are your pants in Florida? I could use the landmark, because frankly, I’m lost in this flat, swampy hellhole.
Hi, Poser…as a newbie (2nd post) but a long time reader, I’ve made a few observations. Your concern about flaming is one of the reasons that I didn’t register sooner, BTW…anyway, on to the observations.
If anyone, including a newbie, acts in a stupid manner (racist, sexist, or lazy intellectually)…they’re going to get flamed, and in nearly every case I’ve seen, rightfully so.
Newbies sometimes get taken to task for not doing their homework by doing a search on the topic that they have submitted for discussion.
Openmindness to other’s opinions go a long way. Nobody will demand that others agree with them, and differing opinions are what it is all about.
Hope I don’t sound too pompous…just my 1 cent of reassurance to a fellow newbie.
Welcome dear poser, desdenova (cute!) and sunstone. You all sound interesting and promising. Hope you have fun here, as I have.
I notice nobody has yet told you about the $5 you need to send to everybody who posts in a thread you start. US dollars please, for those of us who live in banana republics.
Howdy, howdy howdy poser, desdenova, and sunstone.
Newbies are usually sacrificed to the ravenous hamsters that power this board. Cecil and his cohorts routinely forget to feed them. I myself managed to use my weak Jedi powers to avoid the murderous critters and planted myself firmly in the tongue-in-cheek bank of the Dope River.
It’s true what Redboss said about the $5 per post. I’m the treasurer 'round these parts. I will be contacting you by email soon and will tell you how to send those bills straight to me. I’ll make sure my fellow DopeHeads get what’s coming to them.
(I’m kidding about the 5 bucks of course. The hamsters, however, are frighteningly real.)
I’ve observed that the newbies who complain most about being flamed are the ones that start completely assoholic threads in GD.
Silly, newbie. It’s your idiocy that started the dogpile, not your low post total.
Somewhere along the way, the truly assoholic newbie will complain about censorship and might even admit their opening statement was more about provoking a response than provoking a discussion. They get what they deserve.
Welcome to poser, desdenova, and sunstone. We look forward to your contributions.
And don’t forget to stop by the Welcome Wagon thread to get your appropriate welcome (No flames, just friendly teasing) and the address list for where to send your $5 to every member that posts in your thread.
Have fun, and remember, “Don’t be a jerk”, and you’ll probably get along fine.
This is the most newbie-friendly message-board I’ve ever seen.
Search back to (beginning of the year?) when there was debate about switching to a pay site. The loudest argument against by just about everyone was that it would stop newbies from posting and that would be the death of the boards (as we know it).
<Giggerota perks up and starts sharpening the cutlery> Do you think you would taste better a la tartare, marinaded, or slow-roasted on a spit with an apple in your mouth?
<Fanfic fairy: pssst! you’re not Giggerota, you’re Squish!>
One thing that hasn’t yet been pointed out is how not to be a newbie (or regular, for that matter). For a good(?) example, look up posts by Ottto or Brutus (there are many others, but the similarity to my own pseudonym made me sit up–or at least raise an eyebrow–and take notice).
