I don't know where to go from here (work related)

In My Humble Opinion
21

Your boss is on your case now. If you go to HR your boss will be on your case. Heads you loose tails you loose with your boss. But you may get your transfer. You can also go to the brance that you want to go to and explain the problems your are having. You have worked there and they know you. Again your boss may get on your case about this. but wait the boss is already on your case. What have you got to loose.

And no job is worth being sick at. If you do not get the transfer look for a new job. When leave in your exit interview explain why you are leaving.

22

I had a boss like that. She’d call me into her office and deliver her stock belittling speeches (this one again?) and digs and then renew my contract, give me more work and responsibility and then the situation would attain another level of misery. She literally screamed at me, and people would tell me how sweet she was. I made the slightest peep of my unhappiness to a coworker and it got back to her. The situation was unbelievable. The only thing that came of my complaints to my agency (I was a contractor) were expressions of sympathy and job openings elsewhere, which I struck out at. Eventually my contract ended and we parted ways without any bridges being burnt.

I found a job at another company, but as such things happen in the small world we work in, guess who now works on the floor below me? :eek: I know she’s not in a management position anymore so at least there’s that.

Another job where crap like that was going on I just up and quit, benefits be damned (I did get paid for accumulated vacation), but I was in a situation where the consequences weren’t as dire as they would be today. I found a new job at a quarter of the stress and twice the pay.

I vote for leave the company, and don’t tell your boss anything until you give two week’s notice (or whatever).

23

Yes, to protect the company from expensive harassment lawsuits.

I was in a similar position at my previous job. I reported to a very abusive vice president who didn’t appear to give a shit about running the group. At first I thought she was just “difficult and demanding” but soon I realized that she was actually incompetant and psychotic.

So a couple of steps.

  1. I immediately restarted my job search. Fuck that one year shit (although that ended up being about how long I stayed there). No sense staying in a bad relationship.

  2. Talk to other people to find out what the story is and gather allies. I didn’t expect any of the pathetic mooks in my department to stand up to her and I wouldn’t reveal anything them, but they are a great source of inpiration.

  3. DOCUMENT EVERYTHING - Every incident, document the time and date, who was in the room and what was said and done as accurately as you remember it.

  4. After two to three incidents, approach your HR rep. Explain to them a factual accounging from your notes, how the incident made you feel (threatened, intimidated and uncomfortible are the good ones) and your concerns. Not surprisingly, my HR rep was a 26 year old idiotic girl. So when she asked if I wanted to sit down with my manager and her to discuss the issue this is what I said. I’m like “No, I don’t feel comfortible doing that. I believe she will say whatever you want to hear and then her behavior will just continue or worsen. Really I don’t care what you do. All I want is a record of this conversation and the incidents I presented to you (which you have as soon as you email it) because my next conversation will be with my attorney.”

You work for a BANK. Banks are highly regulated and generally take such issues very seriously. This is important. Because form the point of view of the company, they now have a documented case of harassment and will be forced to act on it or risk even worse sanctions.

  1. Stand up to your boss. I noticed my abuse stopped almost immediately once I stopped treating her like a difficult boss and more like a stupid child throwing a tantrum. She had tried berating me in a management meeting and I simply (but firmly) in my stern manager voice publically called her on it (and then reported her to HR again).

  2. Crappy bosses underestimate how their employees can passively sabotage them. Mine used to constantly turn to me in staff meetings for confirmation about shit. Soon I was like “you know, I don’t recall discussing that.” And if she gives me a hard time, I just say, “well, if you are so sure why are you asking me?”

The outcome was that she was forced into retirement 6 months after I joined the company. There was much rejoicing. In fact, I used to crash in her now empty office for naps if I was out partying a bit too late the night before.

Unfortunately (or fortunately) I was laid off about 6 months later as part of a greater corporate restructuring and given about a 4 months severence for a year of work and now have a better job for more money.
Anyhow, the point is don’t just sit there taking shit like a little bitch.

24

True enough. If you do go to HR, try to make it clear to them like msmith said, that you don’t want them turn around and go straight to your supervisor and have the two of you sit down for a chat together (that always works so very, very well :rolleyes: ).

I still think the end run is your best solution, though - you want to move to a different branch, not get revenge on your abusive supervisor. I think you need to keep your end goal in mind.

25

You sound like a sterling employee and a good friend.

26

I’m not normally a bring lawyers, guns and money kind of gal, but this incident would have me sitting down the HR and the branch manager and explaining to them (in writing in addition to verbally) what exactly a hostile work environment is and that you will no longer tolerate working in one. Get it documented, that way if any firing goes on or you have to quit because of this, you can at least have a chance of getting unemployment.

I know times are hard, I really do, but especially if you’ve been in an abusive relationship, do not let this make you feel like that did. This is not an abusive husband but it is an abuse of power and it has to be stopped. Do it smart and put it all in writing, every bit.

27

In some ways an abusive job is worse than an abusive relationship, because it affects your ability to make money and support yourself (and in the U.S. is strongly tied to your healthcare as well).

28

Is it legal in your state to wear a voice recorder without informing the other person? If so, wear one. And get her to say this stuff again…

29

get a microrecorder and secretly record her tearing into you and play it for HR and tell them bluntly this is unacceptable and you need out. If the harassment continues you will be going to the labor board or up the corporate HR department until you get to teh highest officer in the company in HR.

30

I’m a sterling employee when I’m working in a professional environment with people who show a minimum level of respect and professionalism.

And whose friend am I supposed to be here?:confused:

31

If the OP can transfer branches that would be best. But really she should directly confront her manager.

32

Serenata67, you sound like a fairly passive (albeit nice!) person, so direct conflict is probably difficult for you. What you need to realize is that your boss’ behavior is well outside the range of acceptability for a professional workplace. In fact, based on the above quote it sounds as if she threatened you with libel (and possibly slander) in order to achieve personal gain. This is over and above the hostile workplace issue to which others have referred.

It will probably cost you a little, but consider an initial consult with a labor attorney. A good one will be able to give you an idea where you stand (i.e., is your boss’ behavior actually illegal or just mean and petty), and how to proceed going forward. You may never pursue legal action, but simply knowing what behavior is legally acceptable vs. unacceptable is very empowering. It will help you calibrate your responses and alleviate the second guessing (i.e., should I have let her talk to me that way?).

Also, consider using this situation as a catalyst to evaluate how you deal with conflict. If you are the type of person who meekly accepts verbal abuse, then you are likely to receive more of it in the future. A bully typically picks on the weakest kid (physically and socially). Even if you don’t become the toughest kid, moving up the ladder a few rungs will help keep you out of the crosshairs of future “bully bosses”. Another poster mentioned counseling, and this might be an idea. (No shame in that - everyone needs help once in a while.)

You sound like a decent person, and I wish you the best of luck with your situation. Keep us posted!

33

I’m a pretty stand-my-ground kind of person, but she has a way of catching me totally off guard and breaking me down before I even have the chance to stand my ground. I think she’s after me because I wasn’t afraid to stand up to her and tell her that I think. Now, I’m so broken down, I don’t even try. She accomplished her goal: there’s no one telling her what she doesn’t want to hear. She’s queen again.

I know how a good branch can operate; I’ve been at them. I started out giving suggestions (perhaps structuring breaks this way would work better for keeping the teller line staffed?) and she would always get defensive when I would say things like that. It wasn’t worth it anymore.

I’m so frustrated and broken down. I’m going to start keeping track of these sort of things. I’m also going to swing by branch B and chat with the supervisor there. I’m not going to go in there bashing branch A, (I don’t want to sound unprofessional), but I am going to teller her I really want to help her branch out, etc.

34

I’d give the branch manager over at branch B a call and ask for an informal interview. Level with him or her. He (we are assuming he) knows your work from when you were a float, right. Explain what is going on and your reluctance to involve anyone outside your branch until you land safe.

I think you have a really good chance of getting the transfer.

Once the transfer is secure, squeel like a pig.

I’ve done this before “hey, you have an opening, you like me, and my boss is psycho…what about it?” Chances are darn good everyone knows this branch manager has issues, so it isn’t going to come as a shock.

35

If you go apply for the transfer, she’s gonna be nasty to you. If you don’t, she’ll be nasty to you. So apply for the transfer. In the meantime, start sending around your resume. You don’t want to work with or under this person any longer. Tell Branch Managers A and B that the reason that this branch is understaffed is because of the supervisor. Offer to take the supervisor’s job (if you want it), or, alternatively, you’ll stay on at Branch A as a teller…if this supervisor gets fired. Not laterally transfered, not promoted, not demoted, but FIRED. She’s poisoned the workplace too thoroughly, and this one person is causing the whole branch to have problems.

36

HR isn’t necessarily there to help the employee, they’re there to make sure the employer covers its butt legally in the event of any problems. It sounds cynical but I know: I’ve been through it. Not that that means the OP shouldn’t consider it anyway. As others have pointed out it’s hardly sustainable now.

Side note: If you ever communicate with this manager through Yahoo chat–we did a lot of that at my last job–make SURE you have your Yahoo account set to save your conversations. Start downloading and saving them on a flash drive now; same for your emails.

37

I’m not sure the work bullies always pick on the meekest person; I think, like you’ve alluded to, that sometimes they aim for the most competent person (who they see as a threat).

{Bolding mine}This really is weighing on your mind, isn’t it? :slight_smile:

If you can get settled into another branch, would you consider going after your supervisor then? I can totally understand if you don’t want to make waves now, while your job is still up in the air.

38

I’ve worked in H/R and you must understand, H/R isn’t in the business to keep any employee happy. They are there to prevent lawsuits, hire people, fire people and to train.

If you go to H/R it becomes your word against your boss’s word.

H/R will rarely side with the lower level employee unless it is obvious there is a legal issue which may result in a lawsuit.

The OP has a classic example. Bad managers, that can’t keep staff. They know no one wants to work under them so they prevent employees from leaving as they won’t be able to get a replacement.

I once worked for a company as an overnight manager. After a year I applied for accounting which I was 100% qualified. They gave it to a person who didn’t know what she was doing, in fact they asked me to train her.

After much pressure by me, the H/R person said, “Look Mark we can’t afford to lose you off the overnight shift.” I was like so because I’m good at my job, you won’t let me take a better job at more money?

I went out and found a new job in a week, and I still remember the H/R’s manager look “Mark, why on Earth would you want to quit.”

The thing to do if you know you have bad management is never get on their bad side. For instance, in this case the OP could’ve gone to her boss and explained she is moving to a new flat right by the branch that has an opening. Then I’d say that I’m having a difficult time getting to the branch on time, which means I might have to leave. That is a bit less threatening.

Another way you could do it was simply say to your current boss, “I’m applying for part time Christmas work and I need a written letter of reference, can you give me one.” The boss probably would’ve given her a written reference, or at least had H/R do it.

By having a written reference that is good, you put the brakes on her ability to call you a bad employee.

39

She already knows I live close to Branch B. I live about a 5-10 minute drive from there, depending on the lights. I live about 20 minutes away from Branch A. One of the big reasons I want to transfer there is because it’s close. I’m getting married in January and we plan on starting a family soon. By this time next year, I could have a kid, and managing babysitters and work and all is much easier if it’s all on the same side of town.

But when I mentioned that, she snapped back with “I live on that side of town, too. I do that commute everyday. So what?” I then told her, “I understand that you make that commute everyday, but I have an opportunity to shorten that commute and would like to take it.” She knows how hectic it can be; she’s got two kids. But because The Queen can do it, I have to, also?

40

Really?