Long ago, I once worked for a small company that was given the same number as the local Fly-By-Night Cable Service. Now Fly By Night was still in business, but Our number was printed at the bottom of the older cable boxes. So whenever cable went out, we’d get calls.
Now during the day, this was fine. But at night it was just myself (doing my paperwork) and my sadistic co-worker(SC). Now, SC loved these calls and asked to take all of them. And he would toy Mercilessly with the people on the other end.
Example (sweet grandmotherly type caller)
“Hello, is this FBN Cable?”
SC-“Yes…how can I help you?”
“My cable is out and I want you to fix it.”
SC-“OK…let me bring this up…whats your name…whats your address…?”
(caller gives out the information)
SC-“Hmmm…I can’t find you…what’s the serial number on the bottom of the cable box?”
(woman reads off the number)
SC-“Wait one second…this box is Red Flagged!”
“What the hell do you mean, Red Flagged?! I pay my bill Every Month!”
SC-“No…you don’t understand. We show this box was stolen off the back of a cable repair truck in Linden, NJ. Where did you get that Box?!”
“I got it when they installed the cable.”
SC-“When Who installed the cable? M’am, do you have an Illegal Hook-Up?”
(By Now, that sweet grandmother is cursing like a sailor in handcuffs)
“I don’t have any F-ing illegal hook-up. You F-ing people installed it. Its you’re F-ing cable that’s out! How dare you F-ing Idiots call me a F-ing Thief!!!”
And…when he had her good & riled, like a hornets nest poked with a stick, then came the Closer.
“Fine, lady, whatever you say. We’ve got your name and your address and we’ll be sending a truck out to pick up that box!!! Have A Nice Night!!!” <hangs up>
Now SC had people running down their streets on rainy nights (“We have a truck just down the street from you. Maybe your husband could run down & flag it down before it goes to its next call? Otherwise, you’ll have to wait til Monday.”).
He had people fooling with tools. (“OK, now I’m going to walk you through it. Get a screwdriver & open up the back of the box. No, don’t unplug it…how are you going to see what’s wrong if you unplug it? Now you see that circuitboard? Stick the flat part of the screwdriver between it and the wires next to it. Tell me if the cable works now…”) If there was sparking or smoke, he’d give them the new phone number of FBN cable company and tell them to call there asking for “Level 2 Support”.
One night, he put the caller on hold and bragged to me he had her husband up on the telephone pole jiggling the cable wires!!!
He was an Evil Child, that SC. I once asked his fiance how she could send him to work with him acting that way. She replied,“Well, its cheaper than Daycare.”