Heterosexual female here, who loves the term ‘partner’. When we were in school, it was ‘boyfriend’. When we were engaged (for four years) ‘fiance’ just sounded incredibly stuffy and not descriptive at all of our relationship, so we used ‘partner’. Now that we are married, we continue to use ‘partner’ simply because we prefer the term and find it suits us better than ‘husband and wife’.
We are partners. Emotionally, financially, in every way possible. I think ‘partner’ sounds more equal to my ears. YMMV
When I was in grad school for clinical psychology, we were instructed to use partner as the term until we were sure of sexual orientation, as to not put someone off and make assumptions that they were hetero. To me, partner is very clinical and I don’t like to use it in normal situations. As a therapist, I use it until I find out what they perfer to be referred to as. In my personal life, I let my friends tell me what they like. Most of my gay friends prefer boyfriend or husband, depending on the status of their relationship.
I hate using the term partner outside of work. I have therapist partners, and that definately does not bring up the same idea as two people who are in a committed relationship.
All of the options are pretty bad. Partner is too legalistic, boyfriend is too … creepy… fiancee is weird.
It’s enough to make me go around referring to my “hot studmuffin o’ loooove.”
So, I suggest we make something up. Sambo is along the right lines, but the racist connotations knock it out of the running. Mon ame sounds kind of pretentious to me. Any other nominations?
Ahhh, the age-old question of what to call the person who warms the other side of your bed.
If I’ve only been involved with a woman for a little while, I’ll call her my girlfriend.
“Lover” just makes the relationship sound like it’s purely sexual. Since a lot of people already think lesbians do nothing but shag 24/7 (I wish!), I don’t want to further delude them.
“Wife” has a very heterosexist connotation for me, so I find it a little difficult to use.
“Other half” is a term I find almost diminuitive; I try to avoid using it as I feel it lessens her and me at the same time.
I try to refrain from using “the woman who is currently warming my sheets”, particularly in mixed company. It would, however, eliminate any ambiguity
I agree that “partner” sounds a little clinical. Every time I hear it used, I think of my poor mum and the fun she had one time when a colleague (a lawyer at another practice) would always refer to her “partner” in the context of going out, having dinner, having fun, whatever. Mum assumed she meant a domestic partner - but no, in fact the woman was referring to her business partner. Makes me wonder what sort of “business” she was having with her partner.
That having been said, I consider it the lesser of all the evils. So “partner” it is! Howdy, pardner LMAO!
This thread has been surprising for me…though I know that the use of the word “partner” arose from talking about gay reltionships, I didn’t realize that so many people see it as referring specifically to gay relationships.
My first introduction to this word was in the European airline industry, where everyone refers to everyone else’s spouses as “partner.” I liked the word for a few reasons.
One, it’s totally fair. Everyone, gay or straight, gets to use the same word.
Two, it helps you avoid faux pas. You can safely ask anyone about their “partner” without assuming they are gay or straight, rather than having to be told, “actually, I have a husband, not a wife” or vice versa. This keeps the conversation focused on the topic at hand, rather than making it necessary to divulge your sexual orientation.
Three, as a few on this board have stated (albeit indirectly), it can be used for relationships where the two people are committed for life, but not legally man and wife, etc.
I guess what I’m saying is that I always had the opposite view of the word: it is used to avoid embarrassment not for the members of “unconventional” relationship, but for people outside the relationship. I don’t see it as sad at all.
If it sounds clinical to you, I suggest we all keep using it until it stops sounding that way. Once everyone gets used to it a a word for someone they love, it may start sounding warmer.
Yep that’s exactly how its pronounced
I realise the problems with the word outside of Sweden, in Ireland the association is to sandwidges rather than to “little black sambo” however. The -bo is a common construction here, if you and your gakk partner do not live together but are too old to be boyfriend/girlfriend you can use “Särbo”, friends sharing an appartment but not in a relationship sometimes say “Kombo”, etc.
Some other suggestions then in Norway and Denmark they say Käraste (or Kæraste I think with their spelling) pronounced more or less Shaaah-rasta, which means “Most loved”. In both Norwegian and Swedish you have Hjärtevän (Swedish spelling) which means “Friend of the Heart” which is also sweet but not sickly-sweet, non-gender specific and not too kidsy.
Yeah, but that’s also part of the problem. I don’t love my size=1* partner. And my girlfriend gets along with her partner really well, but she definitely doesn’t love him. (Her partner doesn’t love her either.)
A hell of a lot of confusion has been caused because of that. Her professional partnership is very well-known. If you ask anyone in the industry “who’s Sniff’s_Markers’s partner?” you’ll never hear anyone mention my name – though everyone knows I’m her girlfriend.
I still think “SO” should be introduced as a new word.
I guess it’s good to know I’m not the only one here who, when someone describes their boyfriend/life mate/bodily fluid receptacle as their “partner,” automatically pictures them in a pair of chaps and a ten-gallon cowboy hat.
Too bad I share that distinction with a six-year old, though.
Oh, and not to be sexist or anything, but that also applies to girlfriends as well (though I seem to hear it used more often by both men and women to describe their male SOs).
He’s my partner, my boyfriend, my lover, my honey, my sweatheart, my dream, my man, my babe, my mate, my squeeze, my future husband, my soul mate, my romeo, my star, my baby, my flame, my sugar, my beautiful, my other half, my fella, my life mate, my swain, my blokey, my darling, my boy, my heart, my sweetie, my gorgeous, my beau, my precious, my stud, my love, my everything…
I don’t care howyou/I/he/the rest of the world refer to our relationship, as long as it’s acknowledged by everyone that I love him and he loves me.
