I don't take pictures. I am doing my job. Don't ask me again.

Working at the Texas Renaissance Festival is fun, profitable, tiring, and a busy job. I am not at some laid back shop. I am a gamer. My job is to entertain you. I don’t take pictures. I could argue that it is out-of-period, but so is many things at the faire. My boss expressly prohibits it. Plus, if I am taking your picture, guess what, I am not doing my job! Dumbass!

For the people who understand “no” the first time, I have no beef with. Actually I typically say “the king would have my head,” or “it is probihited,” or “I will get fired,” or even “There’s demons in that box.” But about half the people have contempt for my responses. Like the don’t know what “no” means.

“But they took my picture last year at this game.”

BULLSHIT!! I have been doing the same game for 5 years and every year it has been prohibited. You know what, I like it that way.

This weekend is the last weekend and I will be ready. I will say “no” once. Make me say it again and you will receive the embarassing wrath of Baron Von Heighney. Go complain to my boss. He is usually walking the field. Good luck figuring out who he is, he is not obvious. What’s he going to do? FIRE ME! BHAHAHAHAHAH!

All good insults are welcome.

As a consolation, grabbing peoples asses are also not allowed, but I will make an exception if asked.

Um, could you please take a picture of me and my friend?


Nay my dear Alice. But your bum looks like it needs a pinchin.

If you were truly a Renaissance Man, you’d paint their anatomically correct portraits instead.

A pat would be my preference, if it’s all the same to you…

But they took my picture in this thread last year!

I never even knew that Texas had HAD a renaissance!