I don't think people around here realize what the South is really like

The BBQ Pit
1

I’ve been annoyed a couple times and nearly put this thread out, but then I saw the things in the “Two Mommies” BBQ Pit thread and had to post.

County’s attitude is typical Southern. I’ll explain that in a bit, but that’s what you’re seeing. He’s not stupid, per se, no matter how much he ignores someone quoting the motherfucking Constitution of the United States of America. It’s because he doesn’t like what the poster has to say. Therefore it’s wrong.

Basically, you’re arguing with a child.

Apart from a few summers in Pittsburgh, I spent the first 25 years of my life in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. As a good midwesterner, I laughed along with everyone else at the people in the South. You know, that group of toothless cousin-fucking, cross-burning inbreeds.

Eventually I ended up moving to the hell that is Jackson, Mississippi. That was three and a half years ago.

To put it simply, these people are completely fucking divorced from reality.

It’s not just the racism (“The new south” my ass). It’s not the unbelievable religious intolerance where a good chunk of the Baptists, Pentecostals, and other flavors seem to believe that anyone who doesn’t believe in their exact interpretation eats babies at their churches. It’s not that so many of them think that the Civil War is still going on…there’s just been an intermission for the last 138 years.

It’s all of it.

I’ve got lots of friends down here. I’ve managed to find a bunch of decent people, but it took a lot of work.

I was doing some work at a school and a late-fifties-ish woman was talking about what she was going to do on Monday because they had off that day. I asked her what the holiday was. She said, “Well, it’s Robert E. Lee day…but you won’t BELIEVE what my calendar says.” Then she grabs the blotter on her desk and holds it in front of my face while tapping the box labelled “Martin Luther King, Jr. Day”.

Yeah, one was a traitor who led a rebellion, and the other was a civil rights activist. How could they misprint something like that?

They’re hypocrites. Big time. Dry counties are common around here. But you know what? I’ve never lived or even seen (I’ve done quite a bit of travelling in the USA) another place that had lawyers putting out ads on billboards, phone books, urinals, TV, and radio for DUI defense.

Understand that I’m not talking about ads for Robert B. Bobson, attorney at law who takes care of blah blah blah blah and drunk driving cases. I’m talking about an ad for Robert B. Bobson, DUI Defense. 1-800-123-4567.

Apparently, going to church every Sunday absolves you from having to worry about other sins. Especially adultery. I don’t know if the infidelity rate in the rest of the country is pushing 50%, but from the people I’ve met, dealt with, and had drinks with, that’s my anecdotal statistic.

There are pawn shops everywhere. Anyone who has ever been to Milwaukee knows that there is a tavern on, basically, every street corner. In the South it’s a pawn shop on, basically, every street corner.

Dogs. You won’t drive more than twenty minutes without finding a dead dog on the side of the road. You see, if y’all want to go hunting, well, you’ve got to have dogs. But why bother feeding them when it’s not hunting season? Just let them run loose after hunting season is over. Next year, at least one or two will make it back. Or their puppies will. And you don’t have to bother feeding them.

There is an incredible longing for “The Good Old Days”. Generally TGOD refer to “a time when niggers knew their place”. Because you see, crime, all of it, is because of Them. Talking to my now-ex’s father, I also got to learn that his water bill had tripled “because of them niggers”. Apparently it was safe to walk in downtown Jackson in the middle of the night in TGOD. You know, when They knew their place.

I can’t count the number of times I’ve heard the phrase, “I’m not a bigot, but niggers are just [fill in derogatory comment here]”.

Through work, I deal with people like school superintendants and tech directors all the time. These are intelligent, educated, professional people that I tend to respect. And the shit you hear from these people is just unbelievable.

One guy, when talking about his pre-marriage days points out that he’d fuck any woman, so long as he could be she she’d never been with a black guy.

Another pointed out that he really didn’t like Haley Barbour (recently elected Governor of Mississippi), but he’d vote for him because he wouldn’t vote for a fag like Musgrove (probably gay Governor now on the way out). But he’s not homophobic. He just doesn’t like them. His words.

Of course, a guy that I work with spends a lot of time at the gym. He’s big into bodybuilding, being one of those guys who goes so far as to shave his arms. He was shocked (shocked!) to learn that two of the guys he’d see around the gym were gay. It was utterly inconcievable to him. I guess homos are supposed to have pink triangles tattooed on their foreheads or something.

Another, of course, didn’t want to vote for Bush in the last election, but couldn’t bring himself to vote for a Jew. A group people he admitted he’d never so much as met.

Oh, and niggers are stupid. How? Well, they just are. What do you mean give an example. They just are. Naw, when one of them gets a Nobel Prize or something, that’s just the exception that proves the rule.

Mexicans? Well, they’re kinda like them niggers, but at least they work hard.

Ya see, little things like the Constitution don’t matter to these people. To people like county.

After all, as he said in the thread on the obscenity of the word “gay”:

“Oh yeah, what if that is school policy supported by 75% of the people in the school district?”

Just think, with that kind of attitude we can stop negroes from voting!

Certainly a scattered rant, and not really targeting county so much as using him for a convenient ignorant bookend.

So you see, northerners, the South isn’t really the stereotype you imagine. On the whole, the people do have teeth. And they don’t all drive rusted pickups. But you know what? They’re a hell of a lot closer to those stereotypes than they’ll admit.

A disclaimer:

Not everyone saying the incredibly ignorant things above was white.

-Joe, who hopes that some day these morons will at least learn that turn signals have a purpose

2

Joe, you can find a road atlas in just about any convenience store in Jackson. They all indicate compass direction, and in less than half a day you could be well out of Hell and in a more desirable place like, say… Gary, Indiana.
-Tom, who would be glad to give you directions

3

Originally from Seattle, heard about racism but never experienced it. Spent time in Savannah. Ohmigod! War of Northern Aggression? Niggers better remember their place? What you said about eating babies in church? All of it!

It’s like a whole 'nother country. I’m into tolerance as much as the next peacenick, but left to my own devices I’d rather do my tolerating to the North…and I’m sure that pleases The Southerners (about 98% of my family by the way) just fine.

4

But I’m pleased to learn that racism, homophobia and anti-Semitism don’t exist in Milwaukee.

5

Eat shit, you Yankee Carpetbagger.

I’m sure I could go up north (not that I’d want to) and have just as much luck locating a racist as when I go home to Summerdale, AL.

6

Wow, thanks, Merijeek! I didn’t realize what this place I’ve lived my whole life was like! I cannot tell you how grateful we Southerners are to have a fine, upstanding person like you tell us.

See, I guess I’d figured that assholes were everywhere, and that while some varities of assholes were more common in the South, not everyone down here fit an easy stereotype. I had no idea that we had a monopoly on racists and homophobes.

If you’ve got anything else to educate us about, PLEASE let me know. I’m hanging on your every word.

Daniel

7

Please define “South.” You can’t go into the deepest recesses of the buckle of the Bible Belt and condemn a whole region. If so, I take Boston and Cincinatti as my examples of racial harmony in the North. At least in Florida the cops shoot white and hispanic people too!

8

Not to assume ownership of the thread or anything, but nobody ever said racism, animal cruelty, incest and general religious ignorance didn’t exist north of the line; just that these things are not socially sanctioned nor receive broad public support.

This rant is against idiotic practices of the SOUTH. Defend yourselves (like you ever knew how), don’t dodge the truth by launching a smoky counter attack of grievances against your conquerors!

9

In the first place …

Ah, forget it. The stereotyping going on in the OP is too dense to fight.

Ignorance has claimed another victim. But the war continues!

10

Dear Merijeek,

I’d love to thank you kindly for sticking your head in a cow-twat and waiting for the bull to come fuck you in the ass.

Sincerely,

SimonX

11

Merijeek, what hardware store did you get that big ass brush from?

And go home. No, fuck yourself and then go home.

12

And in other news today the Civil War was just restarted on the SDMB…

13

Wow. Just, wow.
I know things are different but. . . wow. Toothless inbred cross-burner? I had no idea that was me. Or my Uncle Dad.
Ya know, we ain’t holdin’ you here.

14

What’s to defend?

I grew up in the South and didn’t find the experience to be anything like what you are describing.

I moved to the SouthWest about 2 years ago and wish I could go back to the land of good BBQ.

15

Speaking about anyone who would use language on a regular basis such as niggers, jews and fags when talking about their woes, not just southerners:

Let’s say for the sake of argument, it IS the 'nigger’s that are taking all of the decent white woman, and let’s say it IS them fucking mexicans and ‘niggers’ taking away good paying American jobs, and let’s say it IS the jews running this god fearing country.

Now let’s say for argument, every black person, mexican and jew were removed from the face of the earth somehow. Just gone, leaving only whites in America.

The people who make these arguments would still not have the decent white women, would not have the good paying jobs, and they would not be running this god fearing country because they are STUPID LAZY MOTHER FUCKERS!

As for the bigotry in the north, as a Vermonter I didn’t hear much slander against blacks, mexicans or jews, but the faggot comments are always in stock.

Sanscour

16

Matchka, you want defense? Okay, here you go. Us Southerners are unfailingly polite. Just look at my post and at SimonX’s post – why, Simon even thanks the OP for committing receptive bestiality! You won’t hardly get a rude word out of us Southerners, that’s for sure.

Do I defend racism? Hell, no. Is there too much in the South? Fuck, yes.

Is County’s attitude typical? No it’s not. The majority of Southerners I’ve met (the majority of people I’ve ever met, given that I’ve lived most of my life here) are decent, thoughtful people – certainly no meaner or stupider than the people I’ve met elsewhere.

While I’ve met a few blatant racists in my day, they’ve been few and far between, enough so that I remember the meetings clearly and with shock. Either Merijeek is lying about his experiences in order to inflate his argument, or else he’s miraculously managed to surround himself with asshole concentrate.

If I had one experience every six months like he described, I’d wonder what the hell was happening that things were going downhill so quickly. As it is, I hear such vile shit maybe once every two years down here.

And just as I know that the stereotype of Yankees – as rude, arrogant, sanctimonious twits without a shred of neighborly emotion in their shrivelled heart – is untrue, despite certain counterexamples that might pop to mind in this thread – I know that the too-common racists down here don’t prove the stereotype about the South.

So yes, Merijeek. Enjoy the bull.

Daniel

17

Well, it’s a little too long of an OP to Babel Fish the entire thing, but let’s look at a healthy snippet.

English to German to French to English gives us a post that, oddly enough, makes just about as many salient and relevant points. Job well done, Merijeek! Today the world is a richer place because you failed to succumb in your sleep.

18

You know who I rarely hear white Southerners complaining about? Serbians, that’s who. Or Hutus, or Salish Indians.

Think about it. I’m not in any way excusing racism, but maybe, before you pat yourself on the back too much, just think about it.

Daniel

19

Hmmm, do you think the reason people didn’t warm up to you immediately because you “laughed along with everyone else at the people in the South. You know, that group of toothless cousin-fucking, cross-burning inbreeds”? Well, golly gosh, I’m surprised us inbreeds just didn’t welcome you with open arms. You came down here with a set of preconceived notions, and darned if you didn’t find people to support them.
As for the rest, well, this li’l ol’ illiterate, racist, gaybashing brotherfucker simply can’t be bother to respond, except to say don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.

20

You certainly sound like a quaint, non-judgemental peckerhead, free of any racial predispositions.

This is just way too out there to even get riled about.