I dont want the puppy. Now I feel guilty

For the past several weeks my wifes friend has been asking us if we’d like one of the puppies her dog had. I’m not a dog person, and considering we just landscaped our backyard, I work 6 days a week often, and my wife is about to start back in grad school, I feel like our household is not a good fit for a puppy (not to mention these puppies’ parents are the size of monster trucks.

I politely explained this to my wife’s friend, but she was very persistent, trying to wear me down. Last friday she even brought the puppy to our house, trying to get my wife to talk me into keeping it. I was at work, but told my wife to please have her friend come get the dog before I came home. When I got home, there was no dog, and asked my wife if her friend took it back. She said yes, and dropped it off at a shelter on the way home :frowning:

Now I feel guilty…but this is exactly why I didnt want to see or interact with the puppy. I’m not a dog person, but I’m sentimental, and its easy for me to get attatched to people/animals.

You shouldn’t feel guilty. but I understand why you do. The stupid woman who bred her dog (or let it get knocked up) should feel guilty. But she probably doesn’t. People like her make me so angry. I volunteer at our city’s shelter and sadly, it happens a lot. It’s not your fault the dog ended up in a shelter - it’s all hers.

That woman was WAY out of line to even persist beyond you saying no with such VERY good reasons! She brought the puppy to your house?! Out of line! Don’t feel guilty, she’s the stupid pet owner, who obviously doesn’t really care for her dogs, much less the puppies! If she really cared, the moment you pointed out you wouldn’t have time to care for the pup, you would have been stricken off the list of potential homes! Put your mind at ease, YOU are not at fault in this!

You did the right thing. You and your wife should never have been put in that position.

You are the good person here; you are realistic about what your home and lifestyle can handle. Meanwhile, puppies are pretty much shoo-ins at shelters to get adopted out.

Echoing the previous posters, YOU are in the right on this. She is the irresponsible one trying to take the easy way out, instead of really looking for someone who wanted a puppy and who would care for it well.

You did the right thing.

Don’t get a puppy if you don’t want one. They are a lot of work and if you are not ready or willing to do that work, then the pup will suffer. I think you made the right decision. Puppies are pretty hard to resist.

I have nothing but contempt for people like your wife’s friend who bred her dog with no goal in mind other than making puppies that no one wants. I would like to think that taking that pup to a shelter gives it a chance at a life with someone who really wants the pup and the dog it will become. I have adopted awesome dogs from shelters and will do so again when I am ready for another dog. (currently have two, and that’s enough for now)

She did manage to give away 5 other puppies from the litter to friends and family. I guess she figured since my wife and I arent having kids for a few years, have a place that allows us pets, and interact with their dogs occasionally we would be a good prospect. When puppy number 6 was left, she got very persistent, I guess so that she wouldnt have to take it to a shelter.

My wife is a Dog person, and I am a Cat person. She’s also allergic to cats, so I quickly dropped the issue of having a cat early on. Because of that, she hasnt pressured me about getting a dog. So far we are in a kind of equilibrium where it is easier to do without an animal we’d want than deal with an animal we do not want.

And that is exactly why she brought the dog over.

(And Ferret Herder is right; if Manipulative Friend did bring the puppy to the pound, s/he won’t stay there long. The dog I adopted ended up with an eight or ten person waiting list, in the event we changed our mind.)

The friend is ignorant and needs to get her dog spayed. I get hit up all the time by people trying to dump kittens. The only time I’ll take a kitten is if the mother and the entire litter is spayed out first. IF they do that, then I’ll take all the kittens that they don’t want. Otherwise I tell them that they’ll just have more to dump in a few months anyway.

I have no tolerance for people who want a cute/pretty little fuzz ball but then don’t get it spayed or neutered. The blood of all those kittens and puppies are squarely on their heads for the fact that they were too cheap and too lazy to take care of their animal.

Preventing puppies is not rocket science. Unless she was offering you a fully neutered puppy and had spayed the female dog, you did nothing wrong. She’ll have more puppies to foist on people before long and it will be her own fault. That she tried to make you feel bad about the fact that she is breeding pound fodder just shows how truly ignorant she is.

:rolleyes: How annoying. I’ve heard this too. “You have no kids! You *NEED *to get a dog!” I don’t want one!

You did the right thing, OP.

How odd. I was under the impression that in most places free healthy puppies were generally snapped up quickly. One post in facebook is usually all it takes. That she would have to drop it off to the shelter is pretty unusual.

“We don’t have the time to bring up a dog in the manner it deserves right now, but thank you for asking. However, if you’re having trouble affording spaying and neutering for your dogs, we’d be glad to help you out.” Watch that selfish, irresponsible bint storm out in a huff. :stuck_out_tongue:

While puppies do have better chances of getting adopted than adult dogs do, not all puppies find homes at the shelter…ESPECIALLY if the puppy has the bad luck to get sick at the shelter. If a shelter dog or cat starts to show signs of having a cold, in most cases that means it’s dead. They don’t have the resources to treat sick animals or quarantine them at most shelters and many shelters will kill the sick ones before the infection spreads to other animals.

But even if that puppy does die, it’s not your fault. It’s the fault of the idiot who didn’t get her dog spayed and then decided to take the puppy to the shelter instead of keeping it until she could find it a home. If you’re not ready to adopt a pet but still feel bad about homeless puppies, maybe offer to help this friend get her dog spayed before she ends up with another litter. The only thing that will ever stop this kind of thing is if people spay/neuter. There just aren’t enough homes out there for all the puppies and kittens, let alone the adult animals that end up homeless.

To clarify: the woman whose dog had the puppies, and who tried to talk you into taking one, dropped the puppy off at the shelter, not your wife?

Wow, that’s more than just irresponsible, and more than just pushy. That’s a flat-out asshole thing to do. (Can I say that here? In the interest of fighitng ignorance? Because it’s true.)

Yeah, my wifes friend was the one who dropped it off at the shelter. I’ll try and remember to ask if the mom dog got spayed. If not, then i’ll start nagging her friend about getting her dog spayed to return the favor for bugging me about a dog I don’t want.

A lot of people accept a puppy without considering whether they have the lifestyle and environment for it. After, say, 2 years, the pup is untrained, underexercised, and licking its feet all day long due to passive neglect. There are two common outcomes: the dog lives out its life that way, or the dog is sent to a shelter where it’s far less likely to be adopted than it would have been as a puppy.

You were wise and aware.

Your wife must be a very sweet person. That “friend” isn’t much of one, and her behavior would have ended any possibility of continuing friendship with me. Please don’t feel guilty. What everyone has said is spot-on, and that woman is an ass in the first degree. “No, I don’t want a puppy, but I’ll be happy to put a hundred bucks toward her spay.” Or, “you don’t have time? No problem, I’ll take her to the appointment.”

Now that all the puppies are gone, that dog will be pregnant again in no time. Another litter may be showing up in as little as 2 to 3 months.

Apparently, it depends on the part of the country you are in. Here in the Twin Cities some rescue agencies import in puppies from other states to meet puppy demand. (others steer you to the harder to place adult dogs).


I don’t really think you could have handled this better, aside from losing it on your wife’s friend and telling her to fuck off and leave you alone after you had made it clear you didn’t want a puppy*, and that probably would have been friendship-ending.

*And while you do have excellent reasons for not wanting a puppy, you don’t have to have ANY reasons - when you said no, that should have been the end of the discussion. You don’t have to justify yourself to her.