I don't want to eat dirt for Thanksgiving

Cafe Society
1

I’ve been invited to Hallgirl1’s future in-laws for Thanksgiving. I’ve met them before and they’re overall nice people. When the future MIL (whom I’ll call Ethyl, cause that’s her name) called to invite me, Hallgirl1 had given me a heads-up. I thanked Ethyl for the invite and asked her what time I should be there. “Oh, whatever time you can. We’ll eat dinner, but you can come before then.”

Sigh.

They live three hours away.

I asked what I should bring. “Oh, whatever you’d like, but we keep kosher, so no meat, and no dairy. And Ed” (her husband) “is allergic to potatoes, so nothing with potatoes in it.”

Sigh.

So, no dairy (milk, butter and cheese) and no meat (I’m guessing they’ll have turkey) and nothing with potatoes or potato starch (no mashed potatoes for
Thanksgiving–is that even legal?). Oh, and it has to travel well–it’ll be in the car for at least three hours.

I have no clue what to bring.

To make this an even more pleasurable gastric event, I recently found out that I cannot eat gluten, so my diet has been switched all around and I’m still finding out what I can cook (and eat). And, since I’ve recently found that all kinds of crap has gluten in it (chicken stock!), I’m very reluctant to eat something that I don’t know exactly what’s in it. So, whatever I take is likely going to be my “main course”, or at least a large part of what I’ll be eating (since I know it’ll be safe for me to eat), so I don’t want it to be a dessert or a drink.

So, now we’re down to
[ul]
[li]No meat[/li][li]No Dairy[/li][li]No potatoes[/li][li]No gluten (nothing with flour or oats–can’t eat oats either)[/li][/ul]

I’ve found that my diet has improved as long as I eat what I call, closer to the base–no processed foods, lots of veggies, fruits, nuts and meats. But I’d rather not eat a plate of broccoli for Thanksgiving dinner. (Although I could just make a nice green salad, it’s THANKSGIVING and I’d like to have SOME celebratory food.)

Any suggestions?

2

There are pastas made out of quinoa that are gluten free: Temporarily Disabled
You could create a pasta salad dish with this quinoa pasta.

3

I’ve made this walnut loaf recipe before for Thanksgiving. It’s hideous and delicious.

You’d need to replace the slices of bread with spelt bread or something, and you’d need to use something non-dairy in the gravy to replace the butter, but I don’t think those substitutions would be too hard. If you’re willing to bring something as ridiculously hippie as walnut loaf, that might work.

Otherwise, to be honest, I might beg off. That’s too many food restrictions to make something delicious. (Or you might use diplomatic channels to ask them to make something kosher that would meet your strict dietary needs, and then make a side dish that meets theirs).

Edit: ooh, idea! Through diplomatic channels, can you find out if there’s a kosher butcher near their house where you could pick something up, or one near your house that would be acceptable to them and that you could pack to cook at their house?

4

And, if you hate quinoa as much as my mother does, they also make gluten-free pasta out of corn and brown rice.

5

No meat OR dairy?

That ain’t normal kosher - are you sure you didn’t mishear? A kosher meal is going to be meat OR dairy. One but not both.

6

No, I’m sure I didn’t mishear. She specifically said no dairy and no meat.

I would imagine because they’ll get a turkey that’s kosher (but afraid that someone who brings meat won’t get a kosher meat) and no dairy because…well, they’re having meat.

7

[quote=“Left_Hand_of_Dorkness, post:3, topic:636434”]

I’ve made this walnut loaf recipe before for Thanksgiving. It’s hideous and delicious.

You’d need to replace the slices of bread with spelt bread or something, and you’d need to use something non-dairy in the gravy to replace the butter, but I don’t think those substitutions would be too hard. If you’re willing to bring something as ridiculously hippie as walnut loaf, that might work.
QUOTE]

(Bolding mine) Sorry, Dorkness, but that’s why I hesitate to eat something that someone else has prepared. Spelt has gluten in it and isn’t safe to eat by someone who is gluten intolerant or sensitive.

8

Ok wait, because I am becoming very confused here.

I thought the kosher rule was no meat and dairy from the same beastie? ie, hamburgers are ok, cheeseburgers are not, but cheese and turkey hoagies is ok, because the turkeys don’t make cheese. (Presuming everything is sourced kosherly, of course.)

Have I been totally wrong about kosher rules my whole life?

9

My guess is that they’re having kosher meat, so don’t want the op to bring unkosher meat or dairy, or even kosher meat prepped in a nonkosher kitchen.

Yes, you have been! It’s complex (I grew up kosher) but simply no mixing any meat (fish and eggs dint count as meat) with any dairy. Meat must be killed a certain way to be kosher meat, and some meats (like pork) are never ok.

10

Roasted vegetables – a colorful mix – maybe sweet potatoes, carrots, cauliflower, parsnips, brussels sprouts, sweet with maple syrup or savory with garlic and olive oil

Stuffed acorn squash – gluten free bread stuffing, quinoa stuffing, nuts

Fruit salad, fancied up with pomegranite seeds

Cranberry relish / chutney

Jello salad!

11

To brush up on the kosher reasoning…Here’s what this website had to say about kosher foods:

I was told no meat and no dairy and no potatoes (potatoes are due to a food allergy and have nothing to do with kosher), so I’ll not bring any of those items, regardless of dietery definitions.

12

Maybe some dairy-free rolls or bread? I’ll substitute soy milk for dairy when cooking thanksgiving for my parents.

Cranberry sauce?

Glazed carrots (use margarine) with brown sugar, maple syrup?

13

Get one of those metal flasks. Fill with vodka or Jim Beam or some such. Hide slices of your favorite cheeses in your pocket. Visit the bathroom often. Should take the edge off.

14

That sounds like the best fucking idea ever. At least my hiding in the bathroom could be blamed on a gluten reaction. “Oops, must have eaten a bit of gluten! Got to visit the potty again!”

Seriously, this is becoming a pain in the ass. I haven’t had much difficulties with my gluten restrictions, but add the rest of the crap to this and I’m looking at…well, hiding in the bathroom with a flask of liquid refreshment.

15

Well, mostly wrong. It’s no meat and dairy, ever, and meat isn’t inherently kosher – only certain animals are kosher and it has to be butchered the right way. They probably won’t eat meat that isn’t specifically kosher meat.

16

Yes you have been :slight_smile: Although the original rule was “do not cook a kid goat in the milk of its mother”, we don’t live in those times, and the rule today, going by the principles of “mar’it ayin” etc. is you don’t mix any meat with any milk, no matter what animal the meat or the milk comes from.

17

I have one friend who keeps kosher. When contributing to meals at her house, I generally take uncut fruit and/or veggies and prepare them in her kitchen (uncut, because I don’t have a kosher kitchen and a knife/cutting board/plate that hasn’t been through purification makes the food it cuts non-kosher, according to her). If that’s cool with the host, almost anything Tara57 suggested should be OK.

18

Fruit salad (with stipulations from the previous post re utensils, etc.)

And knock off the deep sighs. This is really no big deal.

19

This would be my interpretation, as well. They will be eating some kind of meat, but since they keep kosher, it’s best if you don’t bring anything that could be “non-kosher”, that is, anything with meat or dairy.

20

Couldn’t you just bring all the non kosher food you wanted and just eat it out of the trunk of your car in the driveway? Park in the neighbors driveway if they get pissy about it? Bring a lawn chair and make it a tailgate party.