This weekend, the bf and I went over to hang out with a group of friends to discuss hosting a yard sale.
1 of the couples is moving to a new place and can only afford to bring 1 cat and their dog with them. They have had to find homes for their other 2 cats.
Both the boyfriend and I love animals - but we’ve also discussed that we don’t want any pets at either of our places. We don’t want to be tied down to the feeding/watering/walking/poop-scooping responsibilities and neither of us has particularly huge spaces. Plus, I’m currently on a lease and would have to deal with an adjustment by the landlord, and I have friends & family that are allergic and wouldn’t be able to visit.
Bottom line: Although I might love your cat, I don’t want to be her new owner.
The remainder of the night was spent with random “teasing” about me taking the cat home. But it wasn’t really funny. My heart went out to them not having a home for the cat - and I’ve done my part by asking around if anyone wants a cat - but seriously. I don’t want your cat.
I really felt they were trying to bully my bf or I in to taking the cat - or at least our other friends were. So much so that my bf and I even had a conversation making each other promise to NOT take the cat no matter how guilty we felt.
This isn’t really a pitting, it’s more a whining. I love my friends but I don’t want their cat and I shouldn’t feel like a bad friend for that.
Just dropped in to support you. I think every friend I’ve ever had as an adult has had a cat… I am allergic. Their cats all absolutely loved me.
You are not a bad friend for not taking someone’s cat. It’s one thing to visit cats, it’s a whole other world having it live with you.
Hold fast to your conviction that you do not want and will not take anyone’s cat! 
I had the same feeling about friends and one of their cats. They had multiple cats - 5 at that time - and one had been adopted from friends of theirs. I think it was a “felt bad for kitty” sort of adoption; the couple fought often, and tended to treat both their cat and their baby as lifestyle accessories, so it wasn’t an ideal environment in general. For some ostensibly baby-related reason they decided to get rid of the cat, and my friends took him in.
Whether it was inability to get used to dealing with multiple cats or the new household, or something carried over from kittenhood growing up in a weird home, or he was having some other problem, I don’t know, but this cat had real issues in going in the litterbox. Perhaps this was the original owners’ reason but they hid it to make him more easily adoptable to their cat-loving female friend. With multiple litterboxes (at least one for each plus one), he still wouldn’t go in a box, but right outside. This included urination and defecation. The litterboxes were in a particular basement room with lots of ventilation, and the cats always made it down there, but he just didn’t make that last step of getting in the box, and went on the wood floor instead.
Covered box, uncovered box, box with a cut-out in the side to avoid high-stepping, high-side or low-side box, whatever. He didn’t want to deal with it.
So each time we’d travel out to visit, we’d get at least one “teasing” remark about bringing him back with us, including mock threats to stash him in a suitcase for the return voyage.
Sorry. Thanks for doing the right thing by the kitty, but we aren’t cat owners.
You should agree to take both cats, but make your BF keep them at his place and pay for their food and vet bills.
What is this “trying to bully” stuff of which you speak? They say “wanna cat?”, you say no. They say “wanna cat” again, you say “I already said no once. Ask again, and I shall unleash my most fearsome wrath upon you, your children, and your children’s children.” Do not smile. Unless you can manage a maniacal grin, like The Joker.
In the alternative, they say “wanna cat?” and you immediately kick them in the balls/boobs as appropriate. Odds are good they will not ask again, but you may go to jail.
In the third alternative, they say “wanna cat?”, you say “Sure. Looks like a hard winter this year, and there must be what…2-3 pounds of meat on that thing. Can you get it declawed first, so it won’t scratch me while I stuff it in the sausage grinder?”. This is risky, as they may agree. If so, deal with it. Karana has seen fit to bless you with a cat. You do not get to follow through with the threats of kitty-sausage.
Addendum: When I’ve made it clear that I do not wish to have a cat in my home, it would be in your best interest not to include my children in your emotional blackmail. Look, I feed two outdoor cats that belong to a neighbor because otherwise they aren’t being properly cared for. In no way, shape or form does that make me a “cat person.” When I say that I do not want whatever pitiful mutt or kitten that you have managed to rescue from a traveling carnival, I really and truly mean it. No only do I not want the responsibility added to me, I do not want to deal with the fur, the food, the smell, the worry about what to do on vacation, and what to do with the damn thing when I move next year. The answer should be bleeding obvious that this all means “I do not want a pet” but you seem to think it means that I am really that crunchy outside with a gooey center waiting to be cracked, and that the best way to crack me is through my children. When you say to them “Don’t you want your mom to get you a kitten? Ask your mom about taking this poor sweet doggie home!” you have brought them into your pity vomit attempt to reach the humanity within me to accept an animal into my home. And when I look in my children’s eyes and let them know that no, their mother is a cold-hearted bitch that will not rescue the animal they want so dearly (for the last 10 minutes) I will blame you and take joy in the shock and offense on your face when they pleadingly ask why and I reply “Because people who take in animals all the time tend to have houses and clothes that smell like shit, and it’s typically a sign of mental imbalance. Now get away from the crazy lady before she makes you smell of patchouli and desperation.”
Ok, so I don’t really believe that’s true in all cases but it is for a couple specific people I know. And I don’t really curse when talking to my kids.
I have family members who do that supposedly-good-natured bullying thing, too - look, I said I wasn’t interested three times already. We’re at a social function, and I don’t want to start yelling, so quit pushing me too far because you know we’re at a social function and I don’t want to start yelling.
If they’re rude enough to keep asking what amounts to an inordinately large favor, I think it’s fair if I lie to get them to leave me alone.
In this situation, I would probably pick:
a. My dog killed my last cat.
b. I’m so allergic my eyes swell up and I can’t drive for a week.
c. I can give it a ride to the humane society for you.
You know they kept their favorite cat.
You: I’m hurt you keep trying to stick me with used seconds try Goodwill or the crazy homeless lady in your ally.