And, furthermore, I hate my car! I tried to be nice to it yesterday, filled it up with gas, bought it a new steering wheel cover and license plate frame. How does it repay me? By NOT starting today! I tried giving it a jump start but apparently that’s not the problem. I only wanted it to drive me to the DMV to get it new license plates after some hooligan STOLE one from my previous set, then maybe a quick jaunt to the store. So, I email TurboDog and his advice is “It’s probably the safety switch for the clutch”…um okay doesn’t mean a whole lot to me, but I’ll try it. Mind you my car is parked slightly uphill at the time. So, I doink with the clutch and ignition as instructed… Still “car no start”, as my kid put it. I think “okay, downhill, pop the clutch, yadda yadda…” with NO idea how this works, what speed I need to get to, etc. Dumbass me LET OFF THE EMERGENCY BRAKE! Car quickly goes right into the road! I’m thinking “oh dear lord, TG’s gonna kill me even IF no one hits the car!” I’m trying like a complete FOOL to push the car by myself, back up the hill, to the side of the street, ANYTHING (while my three-year-old is pointing and laughing at me. Thanks kid, glad I made your day by freaking out. Don’t tell dad where you learned those new words, please). I even began thinking of reasons to leave the piece of shit in the street hoping someone would hit it! Sanity prevailed and I realized I do sorta like that car. Thank god my neighbor showed up and helped me push the behemoth back up the tiny hill to park it out of the street even if it is taking up two parking places. I guess I need to go “trollop up” now to convincingly play “damsel in distress” when TG gets home.
Thank you for your time…I’ll try to work on peppering my rants with more curse words next time, but somehow the angrier I become, the calmer I tend to appear. In normal “happy-go-lucky” mode, I swear like a sailor.