I feel dumb now...

And, furthermore, I hate my car! I tried to be nice to it yesterday, filled it up with gas, bought it a new steering wheel cover and license plate frame. How does it repay me? By NOT starting today! I tried giving it a jump start but apparently that’s not the problem. I only wanted it to drive me to the DMV to get it new license plates after some hooligan STOLE one from my previous set, then maybe a quick jaunt to the store. So, I email TurboDog and his advice is “It’s probably the safety switch for the clutch”…um okay doesn’t mean a whole lot to me, but I’ll try it. Mind you my car is parked slightly uphill at the time. So, I doink with the clutch and ignition as instructed… Still “car no start”, as my kid put it. I think “okay, downhill, pop the clutch, yadda yadda…” with NO idea how this works, what speed I need to get to, etc. Dumbass me LET OFF THE EMERGENCY BRAKE! Car quickly goes right into the road! I’m thinking “oh dear lord, TG’s gonna kill me even IF no one hits the car!” I’m trying like a complete FOOL to push the car by myself, back up the hill, to the side of the street, ANYTHING (while my three-year-old is pointing and laughing at me. Thanks kid, glad I made your day by freaking out. Don’t tell dad where you learned those new words, please). I even began thinking of reasons to leave the piece of shit in the street hoping someone would hit it! Sanity prevailed and I realized I do sorta like that car. Thank god my neighbor showed up and helped me push the behemoth back up the tiny hill to park it out of the street even if it is taking up two parking places. I guess I need to go “trollop up” now to convincingly play “damsel in distress” when TG gets home.

Thank you for your time…I’ll try to work on peppering my rants with more curse words next time, but somehow the angrier I become, the calmer I tend to appear. In normal “happy-go-lucky” mode, I swear like a sailor.

{{{Tequila Mockingbird}}}


Oh fuck me…why yes it has been a bad day.
Could someone please dispose of this shining example of my dumbassness? Close it,lock it or whatever you do to make it go away. I’ll be in the corner with the BIG bottle of whiskey, quietly mumbling to myself.

Um hon, would it make you feel better if I said that I kind of had the same thing happen to me?
Only it was an automatic not a stick, and after I put the baby in the car I started to load up the laundry.
Well, one of the baskets put the car from park to reverse, and away it rolled. (the car was not on BTW)
Yep, it rolled right across our little street into the neighbors car.
This was my husbands baby, and until the day we were married I wasn’t allowed to breathe funny in this car!
So, to this day you guys are the first to ever hear of this incident. The neighbor wasn’t home, and there was no damage to her car, and a scratch on my husbands.
That scratch haunted me until the car was sold. When asked about it (he noticed it before he even got out of his truck) I told him that someone must have hit the car with a door, or it was careless kids.
From then on I was only allowed to drive the car if I promised to park it clear on the other side of any parking lot I parked in, no matter how far I had to walk with the kids in the pouring rain.

Now love do you feel better now?