Having some savings and a retirement account started gives me mixed feelings too. On the one hand it makes me feel somewhat more secure (although I know it could go away in an emergency any time) but on the other hand it makes me less compassionate toward those who are struggling, or paycheck to paycheck. It removes me from harsh reality and skews my perspective.
Heh. Rereading that I can see how condescending or neurotic it sounds.
I know a few as well, but in addition to being a successful artist of whatever stripe, you also need to recognize you are (for the most part) self employed and have the discipline of the self employed in financial matters as well as in your art.
Or just be really really successful so you don’t need to worry about funding your old age or medical insurance. Know one of those.
Boring corporate desk jobs (or teaching jobs) are not glamorous, but they do tend to provide that sort of 401k, medical insurance, unemployment check that can just smooth things out.
Don’t waste your time feeling guilty. If the current trend continues, by the time you retire, they’ll means test Social Security, and use the wealth you’ve accumulated by virtue of denying yourself vacations and nice, new cars, as a reason to deny you benefits.
There, does that make you feel better?
Do you have a blog? Consider starting one. Then you can post blog entries about the minutiae of your life instead of asking for “opinions” on how to handle a “problem” that, while non-existent, makes you feel important. Or perhaps a counselor could better assist you, if you’re so lacking in life experience and confidence that you can’t figure out when the assholes you call friends are fucking with you.
I don’t feel any more important than anyone else. I saw a counselor in the fall for awhile. I also have written a blog at times. I have lots of life “experience” and a moderate amount of confidence. I never said my friends are “fucking” with me, I just said I think they may have some resentment over the roads they didn’t take. We still work together and hang out just fine, but when the subject of our life choices come up, I can tell they feel that way about me regarding that subject.
You know, I’ve always thought asking others for advice was a good thing. Some days, when reading hostile replies, I question that judgement. I only ask others for their thoughts because i respect other people’s opinions, and I’m a person from time to time who needs feedback. I’m also quite happy to disregard hostility when it’s not productive.
Merely having a job and some modest savings ought not bring in that sort of commentary. Either she has…issues, or else you’re being obnoxious/obsessive about this issue. I don’t know either of you, so I have no idea which it might be, or if it might be a combination of the two. If you find yourself saying things like “…but that would wipe out my savings,” or “…but then I couldn’t put as much in my IRA this month” or “my savings account is up to $X” you might be the problem. It’s like when somebody starts a new diet and suddenly can’t shut up about what they’re allowed or not allowed to eat, what they ate already, what they’re going to eat later, what they wish they could eat, and every decision is weighed in terms of how it will affect their diet…OMG, STFU, DIAF, ya know?
If you are not finding yourself saying things like that, then the problem is almost certainly her and you should keep on keeping on, being mindful of your finances but not obsessed with them.
I have said some of those things in the past…I never thought I was being obsessive but perhaps I was. Maybe it’s something I can work on.
In relationship troubles, it’s not like somebody has to be objectively wrong. It could be (and often is) just a simple mismatch in needs and priorities. I could see making the complaint that Quasi’s ex made if my SO was, for example:
I don’t know if any of these are true, because I don’t know Quasi. I’m guessing the the ex was just in a different place in life than Quasi, and if she is supporting herself and not breaking the law, I don’t see anything wrong with that. People who are ready to settle down have very different dating criteria than people who are not quite ready to settle down yet, and that’s no crime.
This this this. Get a blog, man. Or a Livejournal account.
Quasi, I’m 64. I wish to OG that I had 18k in my retirement fund. You’re doing good - keep it up!!
Yeah, if you are asking a professional on tips in their area of expertise. If you are looking for afirmation from a group of people who sound like a bunch of losers, then no. Their advice will ultimately be self serving and will attempt to make you feel guilt over any achievement that exceeds theirs. There is actually a name for this. It’s called “crab mentality”, in reference to how crabs trying to escape a pot will ultimately just pull each other back in.
Another vote for putting it in a Roth IRA, a Vanguard index fund would be fine.
I too am 64 and when I was 30, the job I left had put $2,100 in their retirement plan for me (I had no control over it, just let it ride). Last statement has it worth $50,000. So, I wish I had had $18k to add to it back then.
Yeesh almighty. Lots of odd things going on here:
Seems to me like you are sneak bragging a bit–some part of you is really impressed with saving up that paltry sum, and that’s pretty freaking sad.
You’ve internalized some terrible attitudes and beliefs about money (that are classic attributes of the fiscal liberals among us, I might add).
Absolutely agree with the “get a blog” comments.
Well, you have to keep in mind that a lot depends on how often you were saying things like that and more importantly, what sort of situations were prompting those comments. If you’re talking about a fairly major financial decision, like whether to finance a car or pay cash, that sort of evaluation and commentary is completely appropriate. If you’re talking about going to Golden Corral a couple times a month, not so much.
Yes, we know you claim to be as rich as Gates except you don’t have to watch your pennies as much. The amount of money was clearly relevant.
Wrong as usual, King Rover. I’m fiscally liberal and save like hell. I have no debt except mortgage (which is kept as a good investment, not because I can’t pay it off) and my kids have no college debt. And let’s say I’m not worried about having enough money to retire on. So take your right wing bull shit someplace else.
Voyager, the attitude I’m talking about is the general belief that having any money at all is bad, the idea that people with money are bad and people without money are good.
And ive never claimed what you say ive claimed.
I hang with a lot of liberals, and I don’t know any who believe that. I’d say its far from a general belief and more in the range of “myths conservatives like to think liberals believe” - similar to liberals believing that conservatives in general are racists.
Please, the “rich=bad poor=good” attitude is all over this board.
As for what I think of people who live paycheck to paycheck: no matter the size of the paycheck, they are poor. And if they are living that way because they can’t discipline themselves to save rather than spend all their money, they are very foolish. (The others are just unfortunate.)
Who cares what Rand Rover thinks of them? He’s not generally known on these boards for his compassion.
I don’t think there’s any question that you’ve internalized the idea that people with some money saved up are somehow selfish. Which is nonsense. Having some money saved makes it less likely you’ll become a burden on others. Maybe reminding yourself of that will help you offset your guilt feelings.
You don’t need a blog. You need to tell unhelpful rude people to sod off. (that may be a useful off-board skill as well for dealing with some of your “friends”.)