OK, so I just moved to San Diego, California, and since that time two people have stood me up; we made plans, and they simply didn’t show - no phone call before or after, no e-mail, nothing. It wasn’t until the next time we communicated that I got an excuse, which although one was acceptable (“I got lost”) and one was not (“I got a speeding ticket so I went home”), it doesn’t answer the question of why, in this age of cell phones and laptops, I didn’t get either a call while waiting for this person to show up, or a call or e-mail immediately upon their return home (and I think a call would have been appropriate in both cases).
One reason I’m not totally ticked is because in both cases they were supposed to meet me at home, and we had no definite plans, so it’s not like I was put out. But, still, rude is rude. In the large majority of cases in my life, if someone has stood me up, they’ve had to beg for a second chance, and, frankly, it happened very rarely, but now it’s happened to me twice in just about as many weeks.
My housemates, one of whom is a California native, informed me that, “I flaked” is an acceptable excuse in California and I should get used to it, for better or for worse.
I did call both people who stood me up on the carpet, and both were suitably chagrined and apologized for their bad manners. But I anticipate this may happen again. If/when it does, should I be outraged and stand by the view that this is rude and socially unacceptable behavior, or should I accept this as an excuse?