We had an earthquake drill a little while ago. “The Great American Shake-out” it was called. We all had to crawl under our desks and pretend we were seeking shelter.
While I was under there, I found a Tootsie Roll!
I’ve no idea how long it has been there, since I don’t think I’ve eaten a Tootsie Roll since I was 10 or so…
I’m going to take it home, and give it to my wife. I am a good husband! 
They’re doing it over at the hospital right now, too. We seem to be pretty much ignoring it in our outlying building. I hope that’s okay, but they didn’t give us any instructions.
I found a Cheerio under the dishwasher. My wife told me to eat it. Mmmmm. Dinner.
This thread is making me kind of ill. Seriously, ew.
If you’d like, I’ll crawl back under there and see if I can find another Tootsie Roll for you. I’m helpful like that.
I came in to specifically see if your tootsie roll was wrapped up or not. Because if it wasn’t in its wrapper…
THAT’S NOT A TOOTSIE ROLL!!! :eek:
I have a Tootsie Roll in my pocket. It’s magic. If you can get it out of there, you can have it.
It is, in fact, wrapped scout. And no, you can’t have it… it’s for the wifey!
ETA: it’s not magic either; though it could possibly be evil.
Who is Tootsie and why does she roll? The world may never know.
Same here. Were there any little dogs or small children around?
I think Tootsie Rolls are like Twinkees, they will last forever under normal conditions.
Please define normal conditions.
Underneath furniture is generally not considered a normal condition for food in my house.
I mean not in a swamp or a nuclear reactor or something. 
I wanna come live with you! Sounds like your house is cleaner than mine.
In every house into which a box of Cheerios has ever been introduced, there is still one Cheerio on the floor somewhere. There is always one more.
Just make sure it’s not another damn cat turd.
I’ve had Tootsie Rolls so old they were hard enough to shatter when hit on a table.
Hm… You wouldn’t want to clean theaters with me, would you?
When I was a kid I once found a hidden easter egg in the bible-holder of the pew in front of me. I had gone to church services with a friend and her family after staying the night at her house. It seemed an entertaining novelty compared to my usual Sunday morning ritual of sleeping in, climbing trees, and being a little godless heathen.
Oh…and it was July when I found the hidden easter egg. I was asked to very carefully walk it out of the little church and throw it as far away as I could.
In your Easter bonnet, with one less frill upon it,
You’ll be the grandest lady in the Easter parade.