Look, guys. I know you are excited to be playing again, but really, it is a long season, and you don’t need to extend every game into the wee hours of the next day. You’ll be bored with baseball soon enough. So do me a favor and wrap up a game in 9 innings. I’m glad you’ve won the first two games, but these extra-innings stay-up-past midnight games are killing me. I’ve been a zombie at work. Unlike you, I don’t roll out of bed around 1 PM, have a lavish breakfast, and go to work sometime in the late afternoon. I need sleep. So if you stage a rally, do more than tie. Don’t leave the go-ahead walk-off run at third base in the 8th or 9th or even the 10th inning – bring that boy home with a single and we’ll all be tucked in by 11:00. Thanks, and keep on winning.
Oh, and stop getting injured all the time, too. We don’t need to see our all-star centerfielder, rookie-of-the-year hopeful, and best starting pitcher all limp off the field in the second game of the season. Sometimes it’s OK to let a foul ball go, or hold up at second base, or be happy with 94 mph, rather than kill yourself for the out or third base or 97 mph. Like I said, it’s a long season.
Finally, tell your asshole network and the asshole cable provider to work something out so we can SEE these games. The suits are ruining it for everyone. Pick up a couple of bats and reason with 'em. Thanks!
