So THAT’s why there is bird poop on my monitor…
Ha! You are arguing and I bet you both still don’t yet know what it is you are arguing about.
Presicely. All this new-fangled electrogizmos like the telegraph… Just because it’s new, doesn’t mean it’s better, dammit.
I’ve had to use this here internet device ever since my last faithful courier on the Pony Express got shot in the back by “Bad Hoss” Higgens.
Aren’t you afraid you’ll get a virus? Like bird flu or something.
Nah, the doc gave me some leeches to suck those bad humours right out.
Have you gotten the IPv6 implementation yet (RFC 6214)?
The NSA is always looking for people with a talent for cracking codes. 
An unmarked black van will be recruiting him shortly.
That document is way too long to attach to a pigeon’s foot.
Nah. From RFC1149 (the original IPv4 Avian transmission scheme back on April 1, 1990):
[QUOTE=RFC1149]
The IP datagram is printed, on a small scroll of paper, in hexadecimal, with each octet separated by whitestuff and blackstuff. The scroll of paper is wrapped around one leg of the avian carrier.
[/QUOTE]
Also network geeks sometimes have too much time on their hands.
As for the NSA, Fort Meade is a pit. Also kind of pricey to live there. I think a lot of workers commute in from Pennsylvania. That’s a heck of a drive each day.
It’s more a simple question of weight ratios.
What’s the air speed velocity of an unladen pigeon?
Yep - most notable in the document is this:
That didn’t really tell me anything new, though. I already knew my pigeons have problems transmitting messages when they encounter a cross wind.
You need to stop getting your pigeons from Happy Breeze Farms.
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Sent from my TRS-80 via CompuServe
That explains why I keep getting my genome sequences via carrier ostrich.
No, a customer of this importance can only be happy with rolls and rolls of thermal paper.
Without access to a modern, high-speed Internet connection, dropzone was forced to fall back on RFC 1149, which causes everything to get a bit garbled. Those carriers are famous for dropping packets.
I getting your internetz!
Bravo! So we compromised and I don’t work there anymore because I wasn’t making any sales.
Lemme see: I started on the phone Monday afternoon, coldcalling businesses from a list they bought that is several years old. Half of the “leads” were bogus, from California dope shops to porn shops*, but I had to call them all. The primary customers were gift shops, which have been murdered by the recession, so a majority of them were out of business. Those that survived are mom ‘n’ pops that are hanging on by their fingernails. We had a new product and are a company they have never dealt with before, so they had to know I wasn’t phishing them. I gave them the pitch and the deal and the website and called them the next day, always finding they had been too busy to check it, being small business owners who had cut their staff. Selling to these people is a process of confidence building and I had as “much” as three and a half days to build it with no catalog or samples or any way of demonstrating we were a real company. And I was getting there with some.
And paper CRM? What the fuck?
ETA: Oh! And the fax rarely worked and the boss, when he deigned to email some potential customer, almost never got it to go through.
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- I was SHOCKED to find that Sun Lovers of Central Florida is not a nudist camp
ETA too late: Before I started Wife warned me not to surf the net while at work and to not delete my browser history because they’d think I was going to porn sites. Instead, I was trying to sell to pornographers. Surprisingly, they were not interested in carrying a line of teddy bears that weren’t, er, adaptable.