The bank was going to give me either a shovel or a sled as a gift for opening up an account. The shovel seemed more practical (and the sled looked kind of shoddy). Too bad it’s been such a mild winter around these parts – no snow. Maybe I could find someone and smack them over the head with my new shovel!
Cool; does it have that odd bent handle to save your back? Very little snow here too 
so my shovel (straight handle) languishes in my car trunk.
Would you have preferred a toaster oven?
I only got a t-shirt when I opened my checking account.
Nope, it’s a pretty conventional handle.
I could certainly use a toaster oven, although the nice thing about a shovel is that it’s unlikely to start a fire in one’s kitchen.
I was thinking this kind of shovel. Which would have been much more random and fun, IMO.
Happy
Well, poop! I didn’t get nuthin’ when I opened my bank account!
[Mystery Men]
And you shovel better than any man I’ve ever known.
[/Mystery Men]
My bank gave me a ladder after closing on the mortgage. Unfortunately, while we closed in June, we still have to climb on stacks of chairs and kitchen drawers. Seems the ladder was shipped by FedEx, and fell off a truck in Minneapolis. At least that’s where the trace ends. I’m sure someone in Minneapolis is enjoying my 6’ fiberglass Werner type 1 industrial-grade stepladder.
Why don’t they just mail out a certificate to take to Sears? Sears is coast to coast, and it would certainly save the cost of warehousing and shipping ladders by FedEx! We’re waiting for the replacement ladder to be shipped any day now.
I once dreamed I was trying to landscape my parents’ yard. I ran around yelling “A shovel! A shovel! My kingdom for a shovel!” while all my relatives laughed at me.
It snowed today, so I had a chance to put my new prize to use! Yay!
Hey, we have snow, you wanna come over shovel the walk?
Well, upon what I thought was going to be preview, I see you have put the shovel to use.
Nobody can shovel it like you, snooooop.
Note to self: Read entire thread before posting.
“Send a wire to the main office. Tell 'em I said <WHANG!> OWW!”
I didn’t know banks gave out gifts these days - I thought they were too busy thinking up new things to apply service charges to!
But what do I know - I haven’t had a non-credit union account since 1983. Enjoy your shovel!
If I had a shovel, I’d shovel in the morning,
I’d shovel in the evening
All over this land…