It’s official…after 30 years of poor vision (the last 25 with hard contacts no less!) I got my eyes lasered yesterday afternoon. The whole procedure was relatively painless and anxiety free (why, thank you, Valium). Probably didn’t take more than 90 seconds per eye and I was out of the operating room in five minutes.
Now mind you, when you’re done, you’re not allowed to open your eyes for awhile. I was led from the operating room and to the recovery room where I was told to sit back and relax in a recliner. When I asked what the two hard lumps were jammed in my back, the nurse told me it was a massage chair and proceeded to program it for me. Ahhhhh…lovely. For the next twenty minutes I was in heaven with a nice gentle rolling motion going up and down my spine. Unfortunately, the timer ran out and it stopped with the lumps jammed into my back again. Since my eyes were still closed, I reached done to feel for the remote…“no problem”, I thought, I’ll push buttons until something happens. Well, I hit a good one right off the bat that seemed to be a mix of a number of different techniques the chair had. For the next two minutes, I had visions of small asian women with tiny feet walking up and down my back, sprinkling me with flower petals and dewey goodness. That instantly turned into Broom Hilda playing “smack the vertebra with a two by four”, as the chair began pummeling me unmercilessly, with some sort of massage technique designed to inflict pain on your kidneys, so as to forget about any other parts that might be hurting. Luckily, the nurse heard my “oofs” and rescued me before the bruising could begin.
But heck, I woke up this morning with 20/20 vision. It’s unbelievable!
I would need the Valium just to go through the consultation. The thought of someone suggesting they slice open my eye WHILE I’M WATCHING THEM is a real bowel-loosener. I’ve seen “Un chien andalou!”
But congratulations on your bravery. Yer a braver man than I am.
This (the laser surgery, not the pummeling) was actually my birthday gift this year from my husband. Though the thought of being able to find my glasses when they fall off the night stand is tempting, I haven’t actually done much about researching my options yet. I might be a little nervous.
I thought they did only one eye at a time, just in case something went Horribly Wrong[sup]TM[/sup]? Is the procedure considered safe enough that this precaution is no longer necessary?
What did it feel like to have your eyes held open, Clockwork Orange-style? That’s actually the scarier part for me. What did the actual process feel like, if anything? And how has your recovery been?
My girlfriend got hers done about a year ago. LASIK. Both at one time, still has 20/20 vision. I got to watch through a glass window in the (private) waiting room. They financed hers… she’s still paying her eyes off. Wouldn’t you hate to have your eyes repossessed??
I had mine done in February. LASIK. Both at once. It was my X-mas present from my parents. At my first check-up I had 20/25 vision. At my second I had 20/15. If this trend continues by next month I’ll be able to see through walls.
My only complaint was that I didn’t feel like I got enough Valium before the surgery. Maybe there just isn’t enough Valium. I have sort of a fear about being blind. I woke up later the same day and could see perfectly. I could not believe it. I had it done on a Thursday and had taken Friday off work as well, but other than the bruises in the eyes I could have gone to work that Friday no problem. You do a week of antibiotic eyedrops and anti-inflammatory eyedrops, go in for follow-up check-ups the next day, week, month, two months, six months and year.
Plus, my doctor is an absolute dreamboat.
I would highly recommend the surgery to anyone who can afford it. If you have a flexible spending account at work, check whether you can contribute to it for LASIK or other similar surgery. I could and so not only do I have perfect vision but I also get a big chunk of salary deducted pre-tax (my parents paid and I got the tax break…sweet!).
Damm, rundogrun, that was both the most inspirational AND hysterically funny post I’ve read in many a long day. The transition from gentle geishas to BroomHilda whapping your kidneys with a 2x4 was priceless.
Speaking of priceless, you give me hope. I can’t really afford this right now (had to buy a new car; computer is dying a hideous death) but my recent persciption change for glasses ain’t cutting it–so to speak. I can’t damned SEE well! My vision is so bad and it just can’t go on this way.
First thing Monday I’m calling my eye docs for a consultation on LASIK; they’d suggested it before. Good to know it’s relatively painless. Thanks for the firsthand account.
And the tip to avoid the Relaxation Chair From Hell.
As far as I know, there is no “Horribly Wrong” on the records. There are a very small percentage of complications, however blindness is not one of them. You can do one at a time, and in the consent form I had to sign, I had to list out the reasons why I wanted both done at the same time (I would have had to do that too if I just did on at a time). For me it basically came down to convenience.
Prying eyes open absolutely freaky. Yoou wanted to blink but couldn’t. Basically the procedure went: eyedrop, look down/up while he swabbed your eye, look down/up while he inserted the eye spreader (which doesn’t hurt at all), another eyedrop, suction cup on your eyeball (now THAT was bizarre), everything goes dark, the laser makes its cut (about 4 seconds) which didn’t hurt but you could definitely feel (again, very bizarre), you stare at a red light, the light gets fuzzy as they flip up the “flap”, some more lasering that sounds like a machine gun, you smell smoke and remark to the doctor it’s just like a trip to the dentist and wonder if, perhaps, the laser misfired and your eyebrows are on fire, they flip the flap back down, red light is clearer, another drop or two, out with the spreader and close your eye while they move to the next one. It really was a well orchestrated procedure and very quick. You really don’t feel much of anything.
Revovery has been fine. I kept my eyes closed for most of the five hours after (everything was still very fuzzy). I fell asleep around 8 PM and when I woke up this morning, I was fine. I do have to sleep with some funky goggles, to keep from rubbing my eyes for a week.
The key as I’ve been told is to go to someone with a lot of experience. The guy I went to is a big deal here in NY and I was fortunate to have some financial backing from my brother. However, they do have payment plans which you can pay off over time and if you have Vision Insurance, check and see if it’s covered. I’ve heard at least one story of how it only cost someone who had VSP $50.
I saw part of a show on “plastic surgery” a week or so ago. I guess because it’s not a medical necessity LASIK falls under the rubric of “plastic.” Anyway, they interviewed a guy who had the LASIK on both eyes simultaneously. He woke up the next morning with a massive bacterial infection in both eyes. He ended up legally blind in one eye and some equally horrid complication in the other. He eventually got a cornea transplant and follow-up LASIK surgery. It took a year but according to the program he’s fine now and got the desired correction.
I went back and double-checked the literature to get actaul risk percentages. Everything was one percent or less, including night hazing, corneal hazing, and irregular flaps. The doctor had mentioned the rare occurance where a cornea transplant might be required, but the percentage was so negligible, as to be a non-factor to me. Of course, YMMV. In certain situations, it might also be necessary to go back and “tweak” one or both eyes.
Now, was this LASIK, LASIK Plus or LASIK II? I don’t know the differences, but IIRC, LASIK Plus is the most recent, though it may be L2. Either way, it’s supposed to be damn near faultless and very effective (ie: 20/20 and better is the norm.)
AFAIK, it was LASIK. This is the first I’ve heard of LASIK Plus and LASIK II. The laser he uses is a VISX S2. When I went the next day for my follow-up and could read 20/20, he practically gushed over this machine like a proud parent.
I had the Excimer laser used on the Supereyes about 3 1/2 years ago. Never had any problems, except for when the anesthesia wore off all at once instead of gradually, and I dropped my tray o’fast food, doubled over, clutching my eyes, screaming “Motherfucker!” really, really loud. Because of that incident, I have been banned from the Fazoli’s on Breckenridge Lane.
So after the surgery, how badly (and for how long) is your vision impaired? Am I going to need somebody to drive me home? (I don’t drive myself, but I’m wondering if I’d have trouble even making it to the bus stop.)
Having someone else drive you home is indeed a requirement, if you’re getting both eyes done at the same time, and they always do both at once these days. For the first day, you have “Vaseline vision,” meaning that the world looks as though you’re wearing Vaseline-smeared glasses. They recommend that you keep your eyes shut as much as possible following the procedure on that first day. You should be able to see quite clearly the day after surgery, though.
But I won’t be, like, completely blind the first day or anything will I? Thing is I don’t think I will be able to get anybody to drive me home, since I’ll be having it done during working hours. Will I be able to see well enough at least to direct a cab driver to my street (I’m on a little-known cul-de-sac off a reasonably well-known road) and get myself inside my house?
Sorry if these are stupid questions, but I reckon it’s better to find out now …