I got the herpes email from an ex (Medical Question)

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Well, and an old sexual partner wrote me today to tell me that she found out that she had herpes, and to ask if I had them too. At first, I was pretty shocked and a little worried, but then I started to read some stuff on the internet that seemed like if I did have it it wouldn’t be that bad. This is really weird though, so if a doctor like QtM would like to help out here, this would be great.

I did an examination down there, and I figured that if I ever had herpes, I never knew about it. I tend to think of myself as resonably concerned about my genitals, but I’ve never had an outbreak or something like that. I was even more sure when I saw the pictures of what it looks like on the net. I have CERTAINLY never had something like that.

Also, when I was having sex with her, I never noticed anything. She was clean shaven and everything. Of course I was having sex without protection. I didn’t really consider this a bad thing. Normally I wear protection, but everyone has a point where they feel like they can trust someone based on various factors, and I trusted her. I asked her and she said she didn’t have any, but obviously if she had herpes she didn’t know.

Anyways. from what I can tell, there is no way to test for herpes unless you have an outbreak. Since I never had one, I don’t really see any need to go physically be inspected by a doctor. I feel normal. If there is some reason, however, I would be willing, obviously. Although my Dad is my doctor for most things, I usually go to the university doctor for things that are a little too weird to go to my dad for. But anyway, here’s the point of my questioning. Okay nevermind, I just realized that there is a test. I guess I’ll take it. Moving on.

I got this rash on my elbow earlier in December. It itched for a few days or so but didn’t appear red. Then I got this blister on my arm where it itched and it stayed there for quite some time. I called my dad ( I live about three and a half hours away) and I described it to him and he said it was probably shingles. So when I went home that weekend and he said that it wasn’t. He didn’t know what it was. Anyway, it was better, so I didn’t worry abou it. But today I get an email from her asking if I have herpes, because she said she just found out that she has it.

I am normally good about protection. I have only had sex with two people unprotected (including her) both were in a relationship. That’s just the way I am. I haven’t even had sex with that many people either. Obviously I’ve never had sex with someone that had a visible outbreak either. I’ve never had an outbreak of any kind. I suppose it is possible that I did have it though. I can’t rule it 100 percent out because I was never tested.

But I just wanted to ask, is that thing I got on my arm related in any way to HSV 1 or 2? From what I’ve read they are both pretty localized to either the mouth or genitals. This was on my arm, which made me think it was shingles. But it was just one blister.

As for fever blisters… I can rembmer vaguely having one in my life, but I’m not completely sure.

So yeah, that sucks, but I do have a few things to keep my mind at ease. First of all, I don’t think I have HSV2 (genital) because I’ve never had an outbreak. Secondly, if I do have it, it probably isn’t that bad for me. Apparently 20 percent of the populace has it. Some people just dont’ know that they have it. So if I do have it, it may never actually show up.

Well that really sucks though. Anyone know if that thing on my arm could be related?

Oh, and no need to reiterate the need to get tested. I am going to tomorrow.

2

One of my sisters has herpes, her outbreaks are behind her knees of places.
A trip to the doctor couldn’t hurt.

3

you can carry (and spread) the herpes virus without ever having an outbreak of blisters or cold sores (though most carriers do have at least occasional outbreaks.) testing is the only way to know for sure.

also you say this is an “old sexual partner” how long appx have you been apart? the longer you have been apart, and more people she’s been with since then increase the likelyhood she picked it up after you two split up, but you can’t be sure w/out getting tested.

good luck.

4

Your doctor can do a herpes titer. If you are newly exposed, it will be high, referred to as “acute.”
Most people have a stable or chronic titer due to having been exposed to Type I Herpes, early in life, but when exposed to Type II, it usually bumps up for a short time.
This won’t be 100% accurate, depending on how long ago you were exposed, your titer may have may have already leveled off.
There are other medicos here that are more familar with the Herpes family so I hope this helps.

5

Well, it has been 5 months, but we were kind of in a long-distance relationship for a month, so I suspect she wouldn’t have had sex with someone else for that first month. The gist of the email was to ask me if I had it, and if not to warn me. She also said that she had found out recently. Maybe she got it from someone after me who doesn’t know? If that is possible. I don’t understand how she could have gotten it before me either because she had a boyfriend for 5 years before me. Could it possibly be dormant from another partner before him? I doubt it, but I don’t know. Then there’s the question of whether I caught it and it was dormant. Who knows. I don’t actually imagine that the test will show much though considering how it has been 5 months already, but I’ll ask them.

6

You can have a blood test to see if you have antibodies to Herpes II. The majority of people who have it don’t know it and have never recognized an outbreak. And if you find out you have it, what do you do then? There’s no way to know who gave it to whom. And condoms don’t completely protect against transmission.