I’m sure you all have done it. Today a pesky fly was bothering me so I used my bare hands to try to swat it. I’ve done it many times before. Only this time I succeeded. I got it. I also almost puked.
Why the heck didn’t it occur to me that if I actually swatted it I’d have fly guts all over my hand? EW EW EW EW EW! I literally screamed and washed my hands for about 10 solid minutes to get the sensation off my hand. But the good part is, I used my toasted coconut scented soap and now I smell awesome. And one time I got a fly with a rolled up towel in the first shot. I was quite proud of myself.
Anybody else here ever swat a fly with their bare hands? Bleah!
I swat the little bastards with my bare hands all the time. You have to sneak up on them and get real close. If you start swinging from far away they feel the breeze and fly away. I absolutely LOVE the feeling of a tiny crushed exoskeletin smothered in bugblood on my hand. Yum.
One of the kids at the library caught one and shook it up and down in his hands.
“Do flies get sick? Do they throw up?”
“I don’t know,” I said, “but they walk around in dog shit.”
I thought he was gonna get sick.
I accidentally swallowed a fly. It was really gross. I tend to leave the little buggers alone unless they’re after my food. Then I will attack them with my hands.
When I was young and dumber, I was working on my homework in my room and there was this fly. Every time it landed, I’d try and swat it with my hand… but I’d always miss. Well, this fly was really getting on my nerves and I was now following it around, waiting for it to land, then trying to swat it… still missing, of course. Sometimes it would land on the wall, my arm, the desk, and I’d still miss it. It finally landed on me, and had managed to get me into a swatting frenzy The stupidity I felt when I realized I had just swatted myself in the crotch was much more prevelant than the feeling of pain that suddenly ran through my groin after performing said swat, and much much greater than any feeling of satisfaction that may have surfaced because I FINALLY got that damn fly!
What a bunch of rookies… THE PROPER WAY TO CATCH AND KILL FLIES
Lay down on the kitchen floor, cover yourself with honey. Wait for a goodly amount of flies to get stuck and then roll over.
It’s really quite simple if you put a little thought into it.
I’ve seen my sister sitting at a picnic table skewering flies on a toothpick. She had an dozen-diptera shish kebob going once. Blech.
I got into my van once and it was full of kamikazi mosquitoes. One was buzzing my face so I quickly clapped my hands to get it. I forgot I had been brandishing the ignition key. I practically drove the key through palm of my hand. Moron!
And one time I got a fly with a rolled up towel in the first shot. I was quite proud of myself.