At our house we deal with this by saying “Bad, bad dream human.” That way, I can tell my husband about the terrible thing he did in my dream (that of course he would never really do, nor do I think he would) and we can chastise the dream version of him. The dream feelings feel so real… and mr emilyforce is perfectly capable of feeling guilty about something I only dreamt he did! silly man.
hhhhm, i haven’t thought about the reno, redo, reorg. correlation. i’ll have to take note of that.
sometimes it will be a pet in a cage, bunny or chinchilla, sometimes fish in a tank or bowl.
since my mum died last year, sometimes she returns. it is really odd she just appears and i’m trying to figure out how she can just return. i’m just going along with everything, hey mum, how’s it going? that sort of thing. yet i’m thinking… there was a funeral, there was a buriel, you can’t survive embalming… how did this happen?
now that you have me thinking about it, the dreams do occur during homey stuff. the latest when i had a housemate move in. he has moved into what was her bedroom and the library. (mum was his aunt so she knows him and would be glad he is with me in the house. so not a “get out!!” situation.)
huh, must be some sort of “don’t forget me” subconscious thing.
Ok, help me think of this “movie” that the OP made me think of.
It’s like a trippy semi-animated musical, and there are different acts in it.
One act involves a cat that is exploring an old house and reminiscing about the people that used to live there. He is hallucinating and gets lost in the moment, relishing every memory. He goes through each room of the house doing this.
At the end, the cat realizes that everything and everyone is gone, and that he is all alone, and will be all alone forever. Upon this realization, the cat looks up, then disappears.
I remember watching this but now I completely forget what it is called.
This makes me want to cry. If I wasn’t at work, I’d be bawling.
(((Swallowed my Cellphone)))
hugs Swallowed My Cellphone tight
That’s what got me too. :: chokes up ::
If it makes you feel better though, Lenny was always well-cared for and was a happy-go-lucky guy. When he was put down it was really ideal circumstances. I had a vet come to my home, so passing was anxiety-free and he was in his favorite chair relaxed and happy to have visitors even though he felt rotten. His life was pretty darned good. He was spoiled and got a ton of attention and never experienced any hardship, thoroughly loafing contentedly and hogging the toys.
Oh, yes, I get similar dreams a lot. It has been years since the last of our three pugs died, but I occasionally dream that I’m walking them without leashes (which I never did), and they run out into traffic in peril of their lives while I scream and try to chase them down to rescue them.
I sleep with a body pillow, and sometimes I’ll dream that my favorite pug is sleeping against my stomach like she used to do. Then I wake up and re-discover that it’s just the pillow.
As far as dead parents, I wish I could stop dreaming that they’re still alive. It sucks to have to re-remember again that they’re dead when you wake up.
Many years after my first dog died I had a dream that she didnt die (sorry, this computer wont let me use apostrophes, grr) from old age but because I had left her in the truck for 3 days, windows closed, no food or water. An animal protection group got her out and took her all the way across the country to try to save her life but it was too late. She died because of my stupidity.
I tell ya, that dream made me feel like crap for a week. My heart just ached.
So, yes, I know how you feel. Its awful. And Im sending you a hug!
I had a similar dream about a person. Last summer one of our models, who I considered a friend, died alone in his apartment and was there for a few days before being found. Throughout the semester we had seen far less of him than usual and I would express worry about him to our friends, but nobody, including me, actually went to check on him(he had no phone). So, recently, I dreamed that he came into my office looking very thin and wet and pissed off that we thought he had died. Mentioning that his landlady had found him in advanced decay and that our employer had had him cremated crossed my mind, but dream logic rendered that irrelevant.
I kept goldfish when I was in college. For years, I’d have dreams about discovering an aquarium I’d forgotten about. Fortunately, one doesn’t get as attached to goldfish as one does to cute fluffy things.
I’ve had my cat, Pudding, for about a year now. I’ve had one dream that she got very, very sick, to the point where she was both emaciated and looking a little demented. Seeing her was upsetting. My fiance’s cat was slowly dying at the time, though, I’m sure that’s what gave me the idea.
Last night, I dreamed that one of the Gosselin kids from Jon and Kate Plus Eight wandered into the woods and was lost forever. That was upsetting.
:smack: I meant to respond to this and got distracted. AuntiePam that’s terrible. Ugh, that would leave me howling upon waking, I’m sure.
I dated a girl for a bit who was the main caretaker for her sister who died of lung cancer. I remember if we ever slept in, she’d wake up with a start and jump out of bed in a panic. She thought she was late in some critical medical task related to her sister’s home care. It used to take her a few minutes to come down off the adrenalin shot.
I wouldn’t be at all surprised if she had dreams about “forgetting and neglecting her home care duties”. She had a really tough time dealing with not having the responsibility of her sister’s care anymore.
As distressing as it was to feel responsible for Lenny, I can’t imagine the same dream about my spouse. 
hugs Hope you’re feeling better now.
I don’t have abandonment dreams per say, but I am often joined in my dreams by people and pets that I have lost. I also tend to have a higher degree of lucid control over such dreams, compared to other types of dreams.
Sometimes the dreams play out in such a way that I am not surprised to encounter my dearly departed father or my dearly departed cat Pookie. I rationalize these dreams as my subconscious having forgotten that they died. I interact with them (within the surreal environment/plot of the dream) much like I did when they were alive. Sometimes, through the course of such dreams, I remember that they are dead and realize at some level of consciousness that I am dreaming about them, and they are actually dead.
These moments in the dream are palpably emotive and bitter-sweet. I feel, as I’m dreaming, the conflicting emotions of realizing that they are lost to me forever while at the same time savoring the fact that they very much exist and have been brought back to life, at least within the confines of my dream experience. I can see them, and touch them, and talk to them, etc.
Sometimes my subconscious throws them into unexpected situations. Relatively recently, I had a dream that I was at a baseball game. College or minor leagues maybe, when suddenly I caught my cat’s black and white form out of the corner of my eye as he walked up to me among the bleachers. I rationalize these dreams as sort of half-forgetting that they are dead. I am surprised to see them, but mostly because of the strange context. I don’t take my cats with me to baseball games. This variety of dream is usually easier to control lucidly, and it doesn’t take me as long to remember that they are dead.
I suspect that perhaps I am prompting these dreams to take place at some conscious level, because I want to experience being with them again, even if it is just in a dream, and even if those experiences are bittersweet.
I’m feeling better, although right as we were about to drift off to sleep last night, I demanded “Where’s Lenny’s blanket?!” startling my girlfriend.
We threw it out the other day because it had gotten wet and mildewy and was unsalvagable, but right before drifting off, I was all set to go out and retrieve the thing from the garbage to wash it. because it’s Lenny’s, damn it!. I never did because I do know it’s disgusting and I’m a bit more rational about it today.
So, I read this thread last night. Mistake.
I had a pretty horrible dream about the dog we had until I was 13 or so. I know he was put down at the vets for cancer, but in my dreams, I just didn’t notice that he was underwater an awful long time when we went near a river.
That was one of the most vividly disgusting dreams I’ve had in a while.
Sorry, Max.
Oh, yes, mine are always a specific, identifiable pet from my past. It’s horrifying. Fortunately I haven’t had one in a while. If I had one about Trouble, I’d just die.