I’m gonna go with “PENetrate” for the former, and if you can’t figure out a way to work chains into gay sex, then you’re just not trying. Those pens are usually on BALL chains, aren’t they?
Guess you hadn’t heard about the tattoo, then… 
Esprix
Spill the beans! Which anatomical portion? *<;o)
O
Maybe you could try to start a disco revolution and wear your shirt unbuttoned down to there and fill it in with lots and lots of shiney gold chains and medallions and stuff…perhaps a scorpion or two.
It would get you noticed for sure. After that you’re on your own.
I was actually looking for a Penn and Teller joke in there, but I stopped when the smoke coming out of my ears set off the fire alarm.
Beats the alternative. You get bumped into a lot more when you’re in the invisible majority.
Then again, that might not be a bad thing…