I hate being Italian!

I hate my hairy legs. Hair all the way up; the inner thighs are disgusting, and so painful to depilate. I have a Silk-Epil; it’s safe to use, but it causes ingrown hairs. Which are turning into bumps. Which is why I’ve taken to long skirts. The only reason I don’t shave is because the metal in razor blades gives me a worse rash.

I hate my hairy arms. Nothing to do about them; if I tried waxing them, they’d just look worse when it grew back.

I hate my hairy upper lip. I think I’m going to have to start bleaching it every other day.

I hate my hairy fingers and toes. Why get a manicure or pedicure if they make me look like a drag queen?

I hate my hairy hmmm. I trim it as close as I dare, and it still looks like I’m wearing a merkin. Do not suggest shaving or waxing; I doubt I could bear a mishap.

I hate this little hair that grows out of my chin.

I like being Italian, most of the time, but I hate this aspect. Mediterraneans are the hairiest people of the planet. I was never able to get my Norwegian/Polish roommate to understand that I wasn’t being a slob; I just had a lot more work to do on myself, which apparently someone who shaves her legs once a week, and has next to no hmmm hair is not capable of understanding. (College roommate.)

God, I hate being so hairy.

I’m in the exact same boat.
It’s horrible.

I feel your pain.

I’m not of Mediterranean descent, but have a hormone imbalance that causes me to have tremendous, *un-*feminine hair growth on my face (and arms, chest, etc.) that keeps my local salon quite happy with my bi-weekly trips for a face wax. This is only done so I can look normal.

Until I can actually afford to have a real doctor that will investigate my problem (instead of an idiot HMO doctor that throws birth control pills at me), I get to suffer, too.

JavaMaven: get a referral to an endocrinologist at once! I’m in an HMO and I have an endo. You could have PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome) or, you could have what I have, late-onset (or nonclassical) congenital adrenal hyperplasia. Trust me, you need treatment. If you have LOCAH, not only are you a hairy woman (like me) but your body can’t produce enough cortisol, which helps your body deal with stress. A major lack of cortisol can kill you.

I suggest you tell your idiot HMO doctor to send you to an endocrinologist ASAP or you’ll wear a big sign that says, “Dr. Idiot Is Trying to Kill Me.”

Oh yeah, and I hate this damn hair. Thank God my husband is the understanding type.

Thanks to Hitler I hate being half German. At least you only had Mussolini.

Ah, forget Hitler…think about Goethe, Schiller, and Beethoven, have a dish of sauerkraut, and chill.

Alphagene should be in here shortly, yammerin’ about Sinatra and Garibaldi and Leonardo da Vinci.

That is SO much more than I strictly needed to know about everyone hirsuitness. But there are solutions, depending on one’s wallet size and pain tolerance:

• electrolysis (hurts, but it works)

• there’s a new cream our magazine is doing a story on in our Health Section, called Vaniqa (pronounced “VAN-i-ka”) that’s just been approved by the FDA. Look it up on-line. It’s not covered by insurance, but it’s supposed to stop hair growth.

Now, let the jokes recommence!

One bad apple CAN spoil the whole barrel.

Sauerkraut and chili? That’s disgusting! Oh, you said “CHILL.” I have my resolution set too high and the font set too small, I guess. Or need new glasses.

Nah, I already arranged for Senator Pat Geary to give that speech.

Actually I came in here to give thanks for my other half being Irish. Smooth hair-free skin, a liver made of tungsten carbide and a right hook that’d floor the lot of ya.

Lucky bastard. My other half is Welsh, which means I get really depressed. And then the Italian side kicks in and I get really loud about being really depressed.

bah, It’s not fair being 100% Irish. I only have one stereotype to fit into. :wink:

but then again, I do have Norman, Celt, and any other tribe that conquered by countrty at some time…
Welsh? then you can freely wander hills singing your lungs out, thinking you have a great voice.

Hmmmmmm, all three Pit mods are half Italian…

Incidentally, I prefer sugaring to waxing. It just works better. Electrolysis is just way too expensive, for the area I’d want done.

Cool! Between you, you could make an Italian-and-a-half!

Mayor Giuliani and ex-Senator Al d’Amato?

Mussolini and Pinocchio?

Yeah, I’m a quarter Irish, but go with that as the default. One thing that being half German is that it makes even being Irish look less embarassing!

I think you ladies overstate the negatives of hirsuteness. It can be very cute. But hairy legs under nylons is gross. And hurts with every step.

Rilch, I’m with you. Only try being half italian and half mexican…talk about hairy. Luckily, I don’t have that problem on my back or chest. I did, however, have to start shaving in Jr High. And it’s such a bitch to wax these legs…

You know, Northern Italians are fair and blonde and all that.

That being said, I’m half Calabrase, half-Dutch. I look more Dutch than Italian, though. Personally, I love it. Like Alphagene, I’ve got the platinum-plated liver but I’ve the benifit of a nice even year-round tan, not swarthy, but certainly not “fair-skinned.”

Actually, I’d consider Lynn to be the omnipotent Vito, John to be the wise and calculating Michael and I would of course be the tempestuous beating-cugines-with-a-trashcan-lid Sonny.

[Edited by Alphagene on 11-08-2000 at 11:58 AM]

You edited your post! You edited your post! You said something mean and nasty then deleted it, didn’t you? DIDN’T YOU?! So how about telling us the truth, huh? Huh? Huh?


Tell you the truth? Have you ever heard of omertà?

Omertà, shit. I just cook, clean, and bear children. Now go get your father and wash up. Dinner’ll be ready soon.

Hey! Hey! Don’t you look at me like that!