So I’m sitting here minding my own business, when I notice a big flying black thing in my room. I look over and see a big wasp sitting on my wall. I instantly go into freakout mode. I don’t like bugs much…especially flying ones that can sting. So I run around looking for something that can take care of it…shoe? No, it’s too high, I’d miss and just make it angry. So I grab a can of Lysol disinfectant spray. Not the best bug killer, but it’ll do in a pinch. I know it won’t kill the bug instantly, so I back off a few feet and spray, then run to the door like a fool. I watch it fly around and run into walls, and the fan for a few minutes. Then it goes out of my field of vision, and I no longer hear it buzzing around. So I assume it’s dead.
Well, I get back on my computer and settle down a bit. Five minutes go by and I’m almost over the incident. Suddenly, I see out of the corner of my eye…big, black! Landing on the can I used to attack it?! I get up and dart towards my door, and watch it…trying to sting the can. So, like a fool, I grab the can and throw it out my doorway, slamming my door behind me. Now I’m hopefully safe from the wasp demon. Somehow, my I keep imagining him crawling up my door and exacting retribution on me…or more coming from wherever he did. Or maybe he’ll be out there waiting for me when I decide to get up in the morning. I hope I can sleep tonight.
I was driving with the top down on the Jeep the other day when a wasp decided he was tired of flying and wanted to ride. He landed on my rear-view mirror and stayed there for about 6 blocks, with me trying to drive and keep and eye on him at the same time. I pulled into a parking lot and got a lot of strange looks from people as I yelled “get out of my Jeep” to someone they couldn’t see. I finally went into a store - they didn’t have any bug spray so I bought a can of cheap hairspray. Fortunately, he was gone when I got back.
I have a friend who used to live on Martha’s Vineyard for a while. She was managing a store that her then-boyfriend owned, and a friend of another friend was working in the same store and renting the in-law apartment at friend 1’s boyfriend’s house. So me and friend 2 go to visit for a weekend. The first night, I drop my stuff in the guest room, which has its own bathroom, and all four of us girls go downstairs to hang out. Friend 1 gets tired early and goes upstairs to sleep, I stay downstairs and hang out for a while with friend 2 and fof. About an hour later, I go upstairs to my room which is all nicely made up for me.
The house is in the woods. There is about an inch-high gap under the AC window unit. My room is full of moths.
Since I know my friend and her guy have to get up early for work, I don’t want to wake them. I also don’t like going through other people’s stuff, and since it’s my first visit to this house I have no idea where they might keep things like bug spray. I look in the bathroom cabinet, but all that’s in there is a tube of toothpaste, Dixie cups, mouthwash, and a can of Aquanet hair spray (blue can). I had Really Big Hair in the 80s, so I pick the Aquanet and away we go. First I turn out all the lights in the bedroom so the moths all flock to the only light source in the bathroom. Now that I have them all in one place, I go to work. I vaguely recollect from science class that bugs breathe through their exoskeletons so I assume they will suffocate with a good coating of the stuff, but if nothing else at least it freezes them in place so they can’t fly away. Then I start scooping them up in a Dixie cup and dumping them in the toilet. No, I cannot pick them up with tissue, I do not want to feel their little buggy bodies even with something between them and my fingers. As it is some of them still make crunchy noises when I get them in the cup. ::shudder:: As soon as they are gone, I stuff all the magazines in the room under the air conditioner to prevent a repeat.
That was three years ago and I’m still traumatized. Don’t even get me going on the time I blew out two tires hitting a curb because a bee flew in the car.
I was rehersing a play in my director’s garage when this evil thing came in: Aaagh! Now, the link says it’s a harmless black wasp with a giant ovipositor or whatever, but I know it was an evil deamon with a foot-long sting sent to kill me. My director killed it while I left the area. 10 minutes later ANOTHER one came in. :eek: I felt bugs in my hair the rest of the night.
I can hack 'em as long as they don’t sneak huge screamingly ugly microscope pictures of them into my books, papers or magazines. (This means you, New York Times Science Times editors.) If Og had intended for fly heads to be 8" across, he’d have made the little bastards look more like this. WARNING: cutesy cartoon content!
:eek: I saw one of those outside the restaurant I was eating at a few weeks ago. It was sitting on the window, and when my friends and I saw it we were like “Oh my God, it’s going to break in and kill us and lay its eggs in our brain!”
The fact that it really was an egg-laying thing on it’s backside really isn’t comforting at all.
I can’t stand bugs either. Last night I was in the bathroom on the toilet and just as I finished peeing a huge black thing flew past my face. I jumped up, screamed, and ran out of the bathroom. Flander came to my rescue and admitted it was the biggest fly he ever saw. It was a monster fly I swear! He swatted it with a shoe and it landed on the floor dead, yay! So he picks it up with a kleenex and puts it in the toilet. Just as he is about to flush it it resurrects itself and flies out!!! This time he waited for it to land and squished it so there would be no more ressurecting. Damn bugs!
