… people pull their loaded grocery cart through the EXPRESS Check out!! [it’s 20 items or less, you dumb _uck!!!].
People pretend that they’re perfectly fine with some social situation, for the sake of politeness, then bring it up to hurt you, manipulate you, or guilt trip you at some later date. You could avoid so many problems with a little honesty! Jeez!
… when yer favourite football team play like world beaters one week and absolute crap the next…
when you realize that your entire reasons for being in graduate studies are thoroughly questionable and that entire sections of your courses are way over your head and your practice.
… people invite you to something (dinner at their place, to a movie, whatever) and only after you’ve accepted their offer do they tell you of the favor you’ll be doing for them in return.
(“Hey, want to come over for supper? We’re having steak!” … “Hey, thanks for coming. Listen, my computer is acting up, so after supper why don’t you take a look at it?”)
…the postal worker is too lazy to get out of her damn truck to bring me a package, so she just fills out one of those “you weren’t home!” slips and puts it in my mailbox. I SAW YOU DO IT, LADY.
…a song I like becomes popular to the point that I hate it.
…people come into my bar and drink water all night and never even throw me a quarter for all those damn refills. It’s still a drink, and since it’s free why can’t you at least donate a dollar per every five glasses of it, people?
…I find shit on the walls in a public bathroom. WHAT THE…?
…there’s a screaming kid in the store and somehow it’s never more than twenty feet away from me, even if I’m in a Wal-Mart Supercenter and I take swift evasive action.
…people see me reading a book and feel compelled to ask me all about it, and then tell me all about books they’ve read and that “you should read too!” C’mon. If I wanted to talk to you I wouldn’t have brought a book, now would I?
…my roommate uses up all my expensive rippled aloe toilet paper and then replaces it with sandpaper.
…people ask me for a cigarette and a light. Geez, did you decide to start smoking at this very instant? Why the hell don’t you have either one? Should I smoke it for you, too?
…people try to tell me the whole plot of a movie. If I haven’t seen it, chances are good that either a.) I want to see it at some future point and you are ruining it, or b.) I have zero interest in it at all. Do the math.
pauses
Hmmm. It’s obvious I have a lot of rage.
Oooh, I hate this! People who use good will as a kind of social currency. Now if both people are cool about it, that’s fine (my friend and I alternate taking each other out to dinner, for example). But usually the worst offenders are people who want something out of you, plain and simple.
My mother is notorious for this. Anytime she notices my car is having mechanical trouble, she’ll tell her boyfriend so that he can offer to take it to his friend’s shop, which normally only services Corvettes (mine isnt) making it a collossal favor that I wind up ‘owing’ my mother. :mad: It has gotten to the point where I really avoid asking her for anything, because I don’t want to have to deal with being nagged about doing something for her that is 10x more inconvenient for me than my favor was for her.
…my roommates wake up/come home/whatever, and open the balconey door. Geesh, I haven’t been warm since October!
…a friend of mine tries to flirt with me, which he does constantly. Last time I talked to him he said he was going to stop. We’ll see.
…anybody picks me up, especially without warning. Most times, it hurts. (And to add insult to injury, one time someone took a picture when I was being picked up. Not only do I think that I look horrid in that picture, it wound up in the yearbook.)
…when someone asks me how to do something, especially at work, and then when I give the answer they say, “No, I’m not doing it that way.” (Why’d you ask me in the first place, butt-munch?)
<hijiack> At my previous job one of the parking attendents had corprophilia and would spread feces around the floor and walls. The booth the attendents sat in was the size of a confessional. This guy also weighed about 375lbs. His co-workers loved him.</hijack>
We keep a pitcher of warm water under the bar for their 2nd and subsequent refills. Another option (quite popular in dance clubs) is keeping a bottled water in stock.
…the maid has just finished cleaning. The house smells like baby powder.
…slow traffic blocks the left passing lane. MOVE OVER!
…some clown rides your rear bumper for a mile, then finally zips around you, only to get back into the lane in front of you and start slowing down (I might add that I’m in the right lane).
Or they zip around you and cut over in front of you, only to immediately take the next exit. WTF?
…women on online dating sites can’t even be bothered to send a “no thank you” after I email them. Grrrrrr, I hate that SO MUCH!!!
…cereal makers still can’t make a decent container. The plastic-thing-that-never-opens-evenly apparently is as far as technology goes with them. And it closes so evenly!
…people write a check for $2. 28. You didn’t even leave the house with 3 dollars?
“Let me call the manager…”
“Let me see your driver’s license…”
“Let me see a credit card…”
…the people that own an SUV, motorcycle and 4-door gas hog can’t afford weed killer for their dandelion infested yard. Excuse me, all that yellow ain’t daisies.
…the Kansas City Royals AGAIN tell the fans they can have a decent team on a 38 million dollar payroll. No, not last year, this year or any year.
… I’ve psyched myself up to finally ask The Girl out and every time I get 30 seconds alone with her I’m suddenly surrounded by friends. RAR!
Why do you assume that they can’t afford it? Perhaps they’re simply aware that endless fretting and fussing and spending to attain a perfect lawn is ridiculous. Unless it’s your hobby, of course, in which case–well–have fun with that.
. . . we go out to dinner with a couple we haven’t seen for a year or two, and they invite some additional friend(s) of theirs at the last minute, trying to kill two social obligations with one stone. Thanks, guys, for turning an intimate friends’ dinner into what is feels a lot like an unwanted blind date with a stranger.
“People say dandelions are weeds, but I say who the hell decided tulips were so great?” —Peter Griffin, Family Guy
I love that quote.
I hate it when my neighbours put poisonous chemicals on their yard! 